This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Review/Recap of Once Upon A Time Episode 6.12 "Murder Most Foul" - SPOILERS!

Can I just pretend the episode ended on Captain Charming
being best buddy bros? Please?

Sigh... that ending.

But before we get there, there's a beginning and a middle to tackle. So let's do this.

Robin Hood gets to be the "Fish Out Of Water." Erm... again. Though this time, it's even MORE Fish-Out-Of-Water-y, because this version of Robin Hood didn't live the life that the previous Robin Hood did. In addition to figuring out how alarm clocks work, Robin is trying to work out his relationship with Regina and - he/not-he has a daughter with Regina's sister... oh good grief, this is going to get complicated.

At least Regina is realizing how nutty this all sounds to an outsider.

Though that bit with Snow giving Regina "advice" was kind of out of left field. Not Snow's advice, per se. But given the rest of the episode centered on Charming losing sleep (literally) over his dad and refusing to wake Snow up until this mystery is solved... I just was left wondering "Why are you awake, lady?"

Timey-wimey, etc.

So - tonight the part of Hamlet will be played by David Nolan (does that mean Hook is Horatio?) Seriously, this whole episode was basically a riff on Hamlet and Charming trying to avenge his father's death at the hands of (he thinks) the evil king who... stole his twin brother thanks to a deal with Rumple... Okay, it doesn't quite parallel completely, but it was still a clever spin on it. Not to mention a good way for the OUAT Writers Room to incorporate Shakespeare without us having to do a whole "Journey From Storybrooke To Stratford-upon-Avon!" story arc in a future season.

(Okay, it would be more like the Globe Theatre, but my version sounded better in my head.)

But what I did like about this episode was the treatment of Charming and Hook's relationship. At first, I thought they were going to be taking some MAJOR steps backward, seeing as how these two are practically best buddies. I even mentioned it last week with the promo - I have no idea how they go away with calling Charming and Hook an "unlikely partnership." Seriously guys - are you watching the same show I am? Even without their respective affections for Emma (David as her dad, Killian as her main squeeze), these guys respect the hell out of each other and have done so for three seasons running.

But then, it turns into Killian being David's Voice of Reason, once it's clear that David has gone completely 'round the twist, thanks to his worry over Snow, Emma, and now discovering that his father might not have died in the way that he was led to believe.

Killian isn't so much an "unlikely partner" as he is the designated driver (when he's not handcuffed to a bike rack, that is).

I did appreciate August being able to give David a sense of what Papa Nolan's last hours were like - that he hadn't fallen off the proverbial wagon and slid back into his drunkard ways. That he was actually trying to piece their family back together, even if he was unsuccessful. That was a beautiful and touching scene. Killian later asking David for his blessing in proposing to Emma was just the cherry on top of the feels sundae.

(It's amazing that the OUAT writers could pull that off. I mean, could you imagine me saying that anything else would be more exciting to me than impending wedding bells for Captain Swan? Kudos, writers. Kudos to you.)

But... sigh... the ending.

The MINUTE that August rode up with those storybook pages, I KNEW something was going to go tits-up. August coming in on his bike NEVER ends in anything good. At first, I thought he was going to try to stop Killian from proposing to Emma (how he would have done that directly, I haven't a clue). I breathed easy again when he was just dropping off the pages... but then Killian looked at the pages and THAT'S when I knew that... well... see the headline of this post.

OF ALL THE PEOPLE to flashback and show killing David's dad for real... WHYYYYYYYY did it have to be Captain Hook? Why couldn't Evil King George's mooks just done their job and we could have gotten on with our lives?? I mean - David proudly acknowledged that Killian had come a long way from being that murderous and terrible human being that he used to be - why can't we just enjoy a lovely character moment and reflect on the personal growth of our beloved pirate captain?

Ugh. Anyway.... NEXT WEEK -



Rumple-centric? Is this Kylo Ren facing down Han Solo? Hm... the mind boggles...

I Like That Loophole. That Is A Nice Loophole.

Review/Recap of Once Upon a Time Episode 6.10 "Wish You Were Here" - SPOILERS!

I could get used to these somewhat-low-key mid-season finales. Even though there was a big twist about Emma being sent to a reality where she was never the Savior and, in years past, they would have made an even bigger deal out of it.

It was fun to have a side-step with a Princess Emma where she was a ineffectual singing princess who didn't know how to do jack squat. I don't think I could have taken more than an episode's worth of it, so thank goodness Regina was there to provide the snark.

Neal/Baelfire was Prince Henry's dad in alternate!Enchanted Forest... ehhhhhhh.... sure. I suppose there had to be some kind of explanation, since Henry was vital to the whole "Make Emma Remember Who She Is" plot (they couldn't call in a Mufasa-cloud-epiphany thing?) But it all felt super-contrived, just to make Henry fit in where he was supposed to be.

Okay - so Regina decides that she's going to "steal" the Genie's Lamp from the Evil Queen... even though it's basically like stealing from herself (props for that lovely little loophole, guys. I was genuinely impressed by that).

David facing-off against the Evil Queen... it's a really good thing Hook's around to keep Charming from doing All-Time-Stupid-Things, because I think this whole Ladyhawke curse that Charming and Snow are dealing with is starting to make David (at least) kinda punchy.

In the background, Rumple and Belle are freaking out because the Blue Fairy falls down on the job (...sigh...) and baby Gideon is now the property of the Black Fairy. Lovely.

And Robin Hood's back! And... he's robbing women out in the open beach area because... the forests are too crowded? I have no idea - it doesn't make sense the longer I think about it. But he borks Emma and Regina's escape plan, so we're back to square one.

(I wouldn't complain if alternate!Hook showed up to help in the next episode. But you all know where my priorities lie with this show.)

On the whole, this was a "meh" episode. It kind of felt like an episode meant to connect the two halves of the season, without making it like there are two halves of the season. I'm actually okay with that - not everything was wrapped up in a neat little bow and there's still time to deal with things in March. And it still feels like one giant overarching story. Now, if the season finale next spring is as open-ended as this episode, I'll be mad. But right now, this is good.

Speaking of March -



A diamond ring, huh? Oh, come on OUAT - I know a misdirection when I see one.

The World I Found Myself In

Review/Recap of Once Upon A Time Episode 6.07 "Heartless" - SPOILERS!

Dear Once Upon A Time Writers Room -

Congratulations on achieving the near-impossible! That is, making me give a flying flea fart about Snow and Charming again!

For many seasons now, Snow White and Prince Charming have been mere footnotes in the story. To the point that, whenever a "Snowing"-centric episode came about, I tuned out and was utterly bored by the story. Because we KNOW that they love each other. "I will always find you," etc., ad nauseum. They already have their happy ending. They're there to be Emma's support and her family and you're not going to do anything terrible to them.

It's like in Doctor Who when they end a multi-part story on a cliffhanger where the Doctor and/or his companion(s) are in Mortal Peril - it doesn't mean anything. We know they're going to be fine within seconds of the next part of the story beginning. Otherwise, there'd be no story. What? You think the one-off Victim Of The Week is going to carry the narrative? HA!

Same thing here - in the past (and since Season 1), whenever they've tried to make it look like Snow and Charming are in Actual Trouble, it doesn't fly. It doesn't really sell. Even when they were conjuring up the curse to bring everyone back to Storybrooke in Season 3 and Snow had to crush Charming's heart to get them back to Emma, I knew they were going to split her heart and share it. It's a fairy tale. That's how things go.

But in "Heartless," it's different.

Oh sure, it starts out with Princess Rainbow Sparklepoo having a nasty vision of the Evil Queen threatening her. At first, I was all "Oh, yeah - this'll be resolved by the second commercial break."

Then there was the thing with the flashback - FarmBoy!Charming and Outlaw!Snow on seemingly disconnected trajectories in their own world. They haven't met each other yet. And it would seriously screw up the plot of the story, if they met here!

It's like - I know y'all have quit trying to keep track of the timeline in this story and you can't remember if you're coming or going... but how did you miss THIS?? What are you guys doing?

And - shock of shocks - they didn't actually miss it! They were paying attention! They kept their own threads together!

Something this momentous, they get another applause gif.

Okay - so Snow and Charming "met" each other before they actually "met." And they grew a True Love Sapling (can I just say - when Regina started talking about this sapling, I hoped it wasn't the one that she already killed by pouring the River of Lost Souls water onto it?) A sapling that... served something of a purpose, but not its intended purpose? It didn't defeat the Evil Queen, but it revealed that Snow and Charming knew each other before they realized it. And that Fate and Destiny *insert glitter here* were with them from the start.

Okay - you're reminding me that this is the love story that started this whole show. I'm with you on that. This is something that we've needed for some time. Going back to basics is ALWAYS a good idea.

Side Note: Everyone's faces - and I do mean EVERYONE'S - were the absolute BEST when Regina was talking about the Evil Queen and Rumple doing the nasty. I've watched that scene a couple of times, and I'm having a hard time deciding which reaction I liked the best. Honestly, I think the entire group spoke for their audience. I'm trying to find video or even gifs of that scene to post because it was SO GOOD!

EDIT: FOUND SOME (source here) -

And here's video (the scene starts at the 1:28 mark). Because, why not?



Yeeeeah... TMI there, Regina.

Anyway - Snow and Charming are the focus. The Evil Queen wants to kill Snow and she'll happily take down Charming in the process as well. Because - REVENGE!

So, Snowing surrenders - but then it looks like the Evil Queen has had a change of heart. Because death is too good for them both?

I dunno - I was confused there. But then the episode kept going. Replay of the True Love's Kiss from cleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaar back at the very beginning of Episode 1, Season 1.... Charming saves Snow from the sleeping curse.

Okay - I've seen how this story ends. What's going to make this any....



...oh. OH. OHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Now, of course, there's going to have to be some kind of fine print in this spell to make it so Emma or Henry or baby Neal couldn't kiss Charming and break the curse (because True Love isn't just romantic love in this show. Familial love counts too), so it'll be interesting to see what excuse - if any - they come up with to make this SUPER-DRAMATIC plot point stick. But the point is that this twist actually WORKED. I didn't think of that loophole for a while after I finished watching the episode because HOLY GUT-PUNCH and FEELS, Batman!

So, thank you for that, OUAT. You made me care about Snow and Charming again. And it's about blanking time!

Also - Wilby the Dog -

source

I want a Wilby.

Let's see what's up for next time -



Mirror universe? Okay. But Regina better have a goatee at some point.