Warm Fuzzies

I have about 40 minutes before "24" starts and then I'll have a fandom-squee post afterwards. But I've been rather thoughtful lately and I'd just like to share a few gems while I have a minute:

1 - Since I had some time, I was meandering through Facebook looking through friends I haven't seen/talked to in a long time. Some of the people I saw made me sad (for various reasons), but most of them - it was just good to see they were doing well. I wish I would keep up with them better than I do.

2 - I have a feeling something big is upon me. Whether it's big in a good way or a bad way is yet to be seen. I try not to get my hopes up. That's happened before and it rarely turns out well.

3 - It's good to have an outlet for all this stuff. Doubly glad when you have people who'll read it. Triply glad when they respond (hiiiiiiiint!!)

4 - In spite of the whole getting older thing, birthdays are wonderful things.

5 - I was looking on a fanart website and I found a picture of a really pretty wedding dress that the artist had used for inspiration. I've never really given pause to that sort of thing and I don't have a reason to, but I'm going to hang onto it. Hey, I learned a few things from being the honorary Boy Scout mascot when I was little. ^_^

6 - No matter how big you are or how old you get, you can still fit behind the couch during a rousing game of hide and seek during Family Home Evening.

7 - In a similar vein, it was gut-busting hilarious when Cash poked his head in the room where I was hiding behind the door and didn't see me. If I didn't have a sensitive funny bone (and if Johnny wasn't so perceptive), I would have stayed hidden.

8 - I'm grateful for that little paisley journal I had everyone sign on my mission. The pictures are great and the journals are wonderful - but to hear it in everyone else's words is priceless.

9 - Snark makes life worth living.

10 - As does the sight of the weenie dog finding a sunny spot on the carpet to lounge in.

11- Little Haylie looked really cute today. And she was funny when I was telling her about the St. Augustine Alligator Farm ("They farm alligators???!")

12 - I may have my mean moments, but I feel bad afterwards. Good that I have a conscience, but bad that feel like a bum for it (then again, some people just need a fire lit).

13 - I love to decorate with meaningful quotes. Song lyrics are the best.

14 - Happiness is a blank notebook and a brand new pen.

15 - The Beast is what every girl dreams of (post-wolf attack, not before).

16 - This turned into a lot of gems. That's okay - the music I'm listening to is rather inspirational ("Watashitachi ni Naritakute" from the Sailor Moon Memorial Box Collection).

17 - I don't keep music that is non-inspirational. Everything on my iPod inspires my creativity.

18 - Crying is a healthy way to cope. It helps you reset your emotions so you can keep going. If that means I'm a crybaby, then so be it.

19 - The moment you take something too seriously, they have to write a textbook on the psychological theory behind it and it just gets ruined.

20 - "Twilight" is still a neat story. It's the internet wackos that spoil it for everyone else.

21 - No matter what anyone says, the Powerpuff Girls are still awesome.

I could have more, but I'll stop there. It's enough that I took on this exercise. I feel really great! ^_^

"It's My Favorite Part Because - You'll See!"

I watched "Beauty and the Beast" last night and was once again reminded why it is my favorite Disney movie of all time. There really isn't a monstrous villain (beyond Gaston - but he's just a small-time douche) and it's all about two people who can't stand each other (at first) falling in love. And Belle is blissfully ignorant to everything else except what is important to her. And what is important to her isn't necessarily what's important to the rest of the world, so they all think she's strange. She doesn't jump at the first opportunity that comes along and winds up with something much better. This story is probably the most realistic of any fairy tale (overlook the magically cursed Beast and the talking household objects) - the characters are believable - they have real problems and internal struggles. And I seriously love the Beast! How can you not love somebody who tries his best, even when his best yield awkward results (toasting oatmeal, much?) But Belle just rolls with it and learns to love the big guy.

I just feel like gushing about it - that's all :)

It is my dearest desire to see the Broadway musical one day. I have the soundtrack, but seeing the stage production of it would be amazing.

A Hasty Postscript

In my fit of giggly weirdness, I forgot to mention that my last post detailing the impending Apocalypse was actually initiated by Alison and Johnny's commentary about my upcoming date (and since it seems everyone knows now - yes, that is my own darn fault and I admit to it - to heck with keeping it secret). I was in such a funny mood at the time, I had to document it. Which, is notable in and of itself because very rarely does any of Johnny's teasing put me in a good mood. Maybe it's just because I see the irony in it - but that's my last word on that subject.

This Week's Sign of the Apocalypse

Everyone get their food storage ready and hunker down in the bomb shelters. We urge to you to hoard food and steal gas. If you are an elderly American, you will not survive. Take to the streets, everyone. Pack up the SUV and cash in your life savings for gold bars! Calling Nicolas Cage!

The end of the world is coming. No, the Detroit Lions did not win a Super Bowl. Although that could be very possible now that this has happened:

I've been asked out on a date.

Start praying. Now. I'm serious - this is not a drill.

24 - Things Are Becoming Less Predictable

Which is how it should be!

Yes, I know - I didn't rehash "24" last week (and I didn't do the season finale of "Heroes" either - well, there wasn't much to say). But today - there is much to pontificate about! (am I even using that word right? Well, I'm an English major - what I say, goes)

As always:

***SPOILER WARNING!! DON'T BLAME ME IF YOU KEEP SCROLLING!!***

Jenny's got a gun/Kevin's on the run (or drunk with a stripper): What I don't get is that Freddie doesn't let Dana tell him about White Trash Boy-Toy, then he acts all hurt and surprised when Arlo (is that his name?) drops the "she's cheating" bomb. Honestly, though - can Freddie truly think that Dana would cozy up to someone that greasy? Although - Dana/Jenny has proved that common sense isn't her strong suit.

But after next week, maybe they'll be canceling that engagement anyway (major loss of points on the Almeida/Dessler Scale of Badass-ness).

Jack, Jack, Jack of the Jun-gle: Well, you have Bubba Gump in charge of CTU, which is being run by a bunch of hormonal clowns. It was only a matter of time before Jack went primate on us. But whatever it takes to get Jack shooting somebody.

Definitely Not the Smartest Thing You Could Have Said: Kahlia proves just how idiotic the protagonists are this season by telling Daddy that she's been dating the head of security - the very head of security that Daddy impulsively arrested for hesitating to follow orders issued in fits of insanity. She's going to be the next victim of Daddy's paranoid security crack-down.

So Much for My Predictions: Man, I thought David Anders was going to bust Jack out of the kitchen. But he's turned total bad guy, just to spite Daddy Mob Boss. Eh - Jack and Kim were reconciled to each other - maybe there is hope (in another 8 season - if neither of them dies).

Next Week's Preview: Hastings lets Renee take the fall for the screw ups, in spite of Jack's insistence that it was self-defense. President Taylor lets her take the fall. Daddy President arrests Kahlia when she's on her way to sneakily talk to head-of-security boy. Dana "just happens" upon a drunk and passed out Kevin and his idiot boss and "just happens" to have a gun to put the bastard out of her misery.. Freddie, totally upset and distraught over Dana's life choices tracks down Tony and tries to keep up in the badass coolness department, but fails miserably and instead retreats and becomes a contender in the men's figure skating competition in the Olympics. Chloe "just happens" to tell Hastings to stick it and takes over CTU single-handedly, Jack smuggles Renee out and flees to LA where they meet up with Kim and family and all live happily ever after.

Yeah, right.

Good Job New Orleans Saints

... sigh... it was a great game - close right up until 4 minutes to go. And that stupid interception ran back for a touchdown... I maintain that if that ding-dong Zoobie Collie had made the play before that, there wouldn't have been an interception... now all the sports media are going to be snotty and sarcastic about my boy Peyton and that he's not that great and he has to win another Super Bowl to have any credit and blah blah blah. I don't know why people don't like him. Just because there isn't any of this craptastic drama with the Colts...

I think it would be more fun to watch the Saints win the Super Bowl if they didn't beat my favorite team to do it. But they're a classy team too and I can't begrudge them the victory. I'd be pissed if it was someone I didn't like. But the Saints are a good team and they deserve this. And it was cute when they showed Drew Brees with his little boy.

(There will not be a sober person in New Orleans tonight - party it up, folks!)

(The kids at school tomorrow are going to be disgusting...)

Some Thoughts on Commercials:

How about that "Avatar: The Last Airbender" movie? Or... I guess they're not calling it "Avatar" because Dances With Smurf-Gully already stole that. M. Night Shymalan - however you spell it - is going to direct it, so this should be interesting.

The Green Police - that was a creepy ad, I'm not going to lie. I had the jibbilies just watching it. I'm going to have nightmares of cops in green pants coming after my Explorer... *shudder*

Doritos did some pretty crazy things. They always do.

Budweiser - the longhorn and the Clydesdale buddies was endearing.

Survivor - does anyone get the feeling this franchise is on its last legs? *tries not to sound hopeful - but fails*

Timmy and Ma Tebow: That was what all the Feminazis had their panties in a twist about? I almost missed the whole thing. Seriously, I didn't realize that was the commercial.

Head-Slap: Best commercial - NCIS and everyone trading handshakes for head slaps.

Second Place: I would have nominated the commercial-bump with Sheldon Cooper from "The Big Bang Theory" hacking his way into the Super Bowl and wishing your team luck - but that's not exactly a commercial (but "Go whatever team you're cheering for and may the opposing team play less effectively" FTW!)


ETA: I thought of a few things to add as my post Super Bowl funk has progressed:

1) The Saints used to SUCK - like, fans would wear paper bags over their heads at the games because the team was so bad. But since they have now won a Super Bowl, this means that there is still hope for the Detroit Lions (and Detroit is pretty much a train wreck - not unlike New Orleans was after Katrina. Except Detroit's woes weren't caused by a colossal natural disaster. Just socialist government meddling.) If anywhere else deserves some winning-team joy, it's Detroit (and I'm not just saying that because my great-uncle played for them years and years ago).

2) Also - the last four years has been a see-saw between the two conferences - in 2007, the AFC Champion (Colts) won the Super Bowl; 2008 was the NFC Champion (Giants); 2009 was the AFC (Steelers) and now 2010 is the NFC (Saints). How long do you think this trend will go on?

3) Another thing that occurred to me that makes this loss easier to take: Peyton Manning grew up in New Orleans (his dad, Archie, played for the Saints back in the day). I can be happy for the hometown of my football hero.

ETA2: I seriously need to go to bed...

Super Bowl Celebrations - Go Colts!!

Thus beginneth the weekend to end all weekends! Since I have class all weekend, I have to post this now. And I am quite pleased with the Super Bowl this year. As I've said before, I was pulling for a Saints-Colts Super Bowl when they were both going undefeated (and I spit in the general direction of the Cowboys for ruining that - oh well, they're all sitting at home with a bowl of Cheetos this weekend anyway). I have to say - it's much more fun to cheer for someone rather than cheering against a team you despise. In 2008, I was pulling for the Giants to win because I hate the Patriots - but that performance gained the Giants another big fan.

And I'm also happy that the Colts are playing the Saints. Honestly, I would not be too upset if the Saints did win, other than they would beat my team to do it. And I'm glad we don't have any big scandal or controversy to deal with either or no drama-queen thugs running their mouths off (Chad 85 from Cincinnati, Terrell Owens from Buffalo - those kinds of idiots. I guess that's why they had to drum up the Tim Tebow ad crap so the news media would have something to talk about). Both these teams are very classy and very disciplined, which will make for an exciting game, but it doesn't make TMZ or ET (they're mourning the fact that none of Tom Brady's model girlfriends had a baby this week). And it's going to be an offensive shoot-out and that's always fun :)

So, whether you're a Colts fan, Saints fan, football expert, football know-nothing, cheerleader or just like watching the commercials - everyone have a Happy Super Bowl Weekend and I'll see you at the after party.

Superhero Sunday

I didn't intend for this to happen, but it did - the boys were watching "Batman and Robin" on Encore. And, face it, once you've seen "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight," the older Batman movies just seem a little - okay, a lot - hokey. Like, cheesy to the point of ridiculousness (add to the fact that I cannot take George Clooney seriously).

So, I put in "Batman Begins" because I hadn't seen it in a while. Then, I realized I hadn't seen "Spider-Man" for a long time - and here I am, watching "Spider-Man."

Good thing we don't have any of the Superman movies or I'd be onto that next...

(If you're looking for your comic book hero fix, I recommend this guy's YouTube channel. These parodies are awesome ^_^)

Ode to Mr. Poe

Our internet's back!! I feel like I've been on planet Mars for the last few days without my internet connection (crap, I hope this doesn't mean I'm addicted to the internet - I was just listening to a John Bytheway talk about turning off TV and video games and doing something productive with your life. Some of the examples he cited were of people who were insanely addicted to RPGs and some of them ended up dead because they neglected food and sleep in favor of video games... oy... that's enough to get anybody off the computer...) But I'm back with scores of updates to add to the ol' LJ. The first is an adventure in weenie dog ownership and the last two are "24" and "Heroes" rehashes, respectively. Blood and surgical warning for the first one and spoiler warnings for the last two.

Most of the time, Scout the weenie dog stays in the house. However, when we all leave, we let her outside to run and frolic about the ranch. Up until now, she's been okay - for a little dog, she can take care of herself pretty well.

Well, on Sunday, we came home from church. My mom had my sisters and my cousins in her car and I rode with my dad in the truck. We pulled up right behind Mom and all the kids were out of the car staring in horror at something. Scout pranced out from under the Suburban - and her whole head and right shoulder was covered in blood! The kids were all screaming - my sister looked like she was going to cry (I was going to cry - then I was going to go shoot whatever bigger dog mauled her). Dad picked her up - in church clothes and all - and took her in the house to clean her up and see what was wrong.

At first, I thought Mom hit Scout, then I thought one of the bigger dogs had mauled her (I was seriously heading for the gun cabinet). But what really happened was that the tip of her ear had snagged on something and it tore. There was this little chunk just dangling off by a piece of skin (it was a lot of blood for that little wound, but that's all we could find wrong with her). After we assessed the damage and calmed little Scout the best we could, we all tried to figure out what to do next. Since the nearest vet's office is ninety miles away, that probably wasn't going to be a good option. My cousin's husband has had experience in stitching up animals - mostly cows and horses and things like that. With the proper equipment, a weenie dog couldn't be that much more difficult, so we prepped the patient for surgery on the kitchen table. Mom and Dad held Scout down, my cousin gave her some painkiller and the doctor was in.

The rest of us went outside to feed cows - I thought I could stay and watch, but when he started stitching Scout up, she started yapping pitifully and there was no way I could stay and listen to that, so I went to help the kids with chores (I'm kind of glad the horses got out while we were feeding so I didn't have to be in the house that much longer). By the time we got back, the operation was nearly done. But Scout wouldn't look at anybody except me and my sister (because we weren't the ones trying to torture her). So, while we all watched the Colts eat the Jets' lunch, Scout snuggled on my lap. She's fine now, but we can't let her outside by herself because all the big dogs try to lick her stitches. But she is well enough that she can still beg when I'm trying to eat (like right now...) and she can still go crazy when someone knocks at the door. So much for recuperation... Guess it's another freaky story to tell the grandkids... And Scout has a freaky ear-scar to show her grandkids.

***SPOILERS BEGIN HERE***SPOILERS FOR 24 AND HEROES***

(I wrote this one last night in Word).

This is the episode that I realize who President Omar reminds me of – the facial hair and the big coif – it’s Dennis Miller!

I quite like David Anders’ character (and I have yet to pick up on his name) – instead of being a heartless bastard trying to kill the most lovable hero, he is the somewhat loveable son of a Russian mobster trying to save his baby brother. I think he and Jack are going to hook up at some point – this should be good.

Farhoud - Well, when you have five hours to fill… (at least it’s not what happened in season 6 with Sleaza - poor Tom had to listen to listen in on that – erm – performance). I can just hear the writers: “One Russian hooker would only occupy him for two and a half hours – we’d better give him two.”

Dana – Freddie’s going to find out about White Trash Boy-Toy sooner or later – I’d come clean if I were you. You’d probably get some real witness protection in the process.

And how about White Trash’s little friend there? Damn, Tebow’s killing us. Watching my buddy beat the crap out of his old girlfriend is much more entertaining.

Dalia Hassan – proving the images of docile Muslim women false (but yay for not turning Kalia against her dad – let’s see Sherry Palmer pull something even remotely close to taking the high road)

Just a thought: are there any politicians’ marriages that do work out? (No wonder Wayne Palmer was a bachelor).

(Commercial Blather: Why, why, why in the name of all that is good and holy is DiCaprio still making movies? I thought he drowned in the boat…)

Jack: “Was she [Renee] raped?” Jack certainly knows how to get to the point (he’s had eight seasons to perfect his non-beat-around-the-bush methods, after all)

Win-Line of the Week: “It’s hard to look your best with a gun at your face.” – Renee Walker

Annie Wersching, For Your Consideration - I know it's still early, but give that girl the freaking Emmy!! I can't tell if she's trying to fool Jack or the Russians (or, if in some kind of twisted psychoanalytic way, she's trying to fool herself).

Next Week’s Preview: Jack plays Harry Potter! (Trading in the gun for Avada Kedavra, I see – almost makes me wish I still had my “Jack’s Horcruxes” icon)



This was a pretty so-so episode up until the point Matt starts re-enacting "The Cask of Amontillado." And I was very happy that I took that Edgar Allan Poe class in college because I got the reference! How often do you get the sweetest character to channel Montresor? Too bad Fortunato didn't have a Peter Petrelli bent on save his hysterically blind soon-to-be-killer-of-everyone friend.

Again, I raise a point - does Sylar still have a purpose or is he just going to be half-angsty-emo, half-psycho serial killer for the rest of forever? If I didn't totally love watching Zachary Quinto work, I would question the wisdom of letting him survive Kirby Plaza in the first season (as it is rumored that the writers initially meant him to die there, which probably would have opened them up for other plot lines, etc.) He's turning into the Nina Meyers of this show - except Jack shot Nina in the third season. sigh... I still don't know if I want him to go or not... I'm torn... Can they engineer a long-lost twin brother for Zach to play that isn't so crazy so he can stick around, but they can kill Sylar off? *cough, cough, Ali Larter, cough, Niki Sanders, cough cough, Tracy Strauss, cough cough*

The carnival gets weirder and weirder. For some reason, it keeps reminding me of the Dead Moon Circus from the fourth season of Sailor Moon (hey - and Heroes is in it's fourth season - weird...) Except the Sullivan Brothers' show isn't as quirky and a little more bloody-rampage-type. Well, we can't all be pink and sparkly, I suppose.

What is Daddy Bennet going to see in those mirrors, I wonder? (The DirecTV DVR description still calls him HRG, but I'm sticking with Daddy Bennet, so nyah). And what the crap is Samuel going to do with Claire? Oh - the plot continues to thicken (and where the crap did Hiro go? He's 100%, remember? It's time for some Master of Time and Space badass!! He's got to find Charlie!! You can't just leave Charlie floating in the space/time continuum like you left Kaitlyn! It's CHARLIE, dammit!!)



Okay, I have school stuff to attend to - and I feel a little drained of fandom. Off to face reality!

Hacksaw? What's a Hacksaw?

Part two of the "24" season premiere - and we get to the good stuff fast. Spoilers, yes. Explosions, even more yes.

***SPOILER WARNING. NO, SERIOUSLY - I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING***

Oh. Em. Gee. Buzz saw to the wrist! Renee's gone completely PSYCHO!! Even Jack hasn't managed that one (yet). Good grief, everyone on this show has gone nuts. Which is why we're relying on boy-band rejects to save the president. (as a side note, this is the first time in a while that the two-night season premiere hasn't ended in a bomb going off. Now, there were explosions, but not at the very end.

In hindsight, since Jack was the one who thought little Renee wasn't up to the job, I guess we should have believed him.

David Akers (aka Takezo Kensei aka Adam Monroe aka Dirty White Man) joins the cast as yet another player who just wants to be one of the "cool kids" that make it to "24."

I ... guess I'm glad Freddie survived the explosion. I'd hate to see Dana completely at the mercy of White Trash Willie. The pencil-neck horn dog certainly isn't going to be any help. Who else was wondering why she didn't tell the CTU guard that she didn't know the psycho? (Good grief, we have one-half of Bubba Gump and "Jenny" running CTU. Is there still time for Jack to catch that plane to LA?).

(On a side note: I remembered one movie Freddie is in - Scooby-Doo. And he was kind of a dork in that one too. For a Jack Bauer fanboy, he certainly doesn't know how Jack operates. But yay for him crashing the car and asking questions later. I suppose I can throw him a bone this time.)

With Bubba interrogating Meredith juxtaposed with the plans on "her" computer, I had to wonder - do they seriously think this woman is smart enough to mastermind a terrorist plot? She was dumb enough to have an affair with a foreign head of state and dumb enough to get caught.

Oh, and don't get me started on their craptastic technology and lack of manpower (their joining forces with the police department while one of said "Boys in Blue" is getting whupped by a guy handcuffed to a chair doesn't instill a lot of confidence. Even if the guy handcuffed to a chair was Jack Bauer). This isn't CTU - it's a flying circus. Sheesh, the "brothas from 'da hood" were of more help to Jack than the paid government folk.

Johnny's Offering to the Rehash: "CTU's not very high tech. They don't even have elevator music."

FTW Line of the Week: Jack "An old informant knocked on my door and it went downhill from there." Dude, that's the freakin' story of your life!

Oh - and Renee. I ask you - she spent a couple of years undercover with the Russian mob, but one day with Jack sends her into a nervous breakdown? But in hearing about her newfound badass-ness, I was expecting a Tony buzzcut (well, I guess we got a Michelle updo. I'll take it)

Another "Honestly" - who didn't suspect Farhoud? The man hasn't cut his hair since Woodstock (neither has Omar, but at least he has a semi-respectable Elvis flip).

Did anyone else notice that the top Secret Service guy looks like Wayne Palmer?

And yay for the rookie cop! While the stereotypical redneck-looking tough guy 15-years-on-the-force roughs up Jack, the newbie recognizes the hero of the show when he sees him (at least one new guy has some sense - Omar really needs to be thanking him! Then Jack, then Freddie... then maybe Chloe.

Chuck Norris Moment: CTU had more than an hour to stop an assassination attempt. Jack stopped it in 5 seconds.

Plot Moving Moment: It certainly won't be long until they realize Farhoud was involved. Just make sure they see you kill a CTU guy on your way out of the motorcade. Nope, not long at all.

And next week's preview - Just that Renee's gone crazy. And we're all dead. Jack - get on the damn plane already!!

24 Takes Manhattan

I must admit, I enjoyed the "New York Gets Jacked" tagline. Kudos to the creativity department.

Okay, it's a new season of "24," which means the return of the "24" Rehash. Obligatory spoiler warning and here we go!

***SPOILER ALERT***SPOILERS BEGIN HERE***ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!***

Just by way of intro, I was watching this with a roomful of family ranging from age 6 to nearly-50. Some of the jokes I gleaned from them

As the cast credits roll, we see the usual Kiefer Sutherland and Mary Lynn Rajskub joined by the heretofore unknowns... but then all seriousness goes out the window when Freddie Prinze Jr. flashes across the screen and we all (metaphorically) fall on the floor laughing. I'm sorry, but when you associate "FPJ" with girls you went to middle school putting his "BOP!" pictures all over their lockers and drooling over him in the most unashamedly fangirly ways, he's hard to put in as director of field ops for CTU. Will Freddie hold a candle to the wonderful and hardcore Carlos Bernard? Eh... we'll see. But right now, I'm praying for a contract renegotiation.

Also, along the lines of casting - Brian Hastings is Bubba from "Forrest Gump." I guess we can blame the discontent among the ranks as "Stupid" not doing so well for himself.

Jack as "Grandpa?" I think I heard a great "AWWWWWWW..." echo across the country at that one. Little Teri is pretty smart. If Jack does die at the end of this season, they could always introduce "24 Babies" - little Teri takes out terrorists and Prescott O'Brien runs tactical.

I don't think Jack is going to cut it as a personal security guy in LA. He may be many things, but there is only one Matt Parkman. This makes me think that Jack is going to bite it at the end of this season.

Throwing Rotten Fruit Line of the Week - "Who's Jack Bauer?" Duuuuude - where have you BEEN the past nine years???

I should have some line about Chloe beating the crap out of her computer - but that scene speaks for itself. But I figured out why she's having so many problems - they run on Macs in New York. Heck, they scrapped Macs in LA's CTU back in season 1.

(Commercial Blather: It strikes me how much Michelle Obama looks like Sherry Palmer. Just an innocent observation...)

I'm starting to think Chloe's feeling like an XP in a room full of Windows 7.

Dana and Freddie (I will never remember what his character's name is - he's just going to be Freddie) smells like a re-manufacture of Tony/Michelle. The original will ALWAYS be better (didn't we already try this with disastrous results?

Craptastic bandage job on Victor, Jack. What, little Teri didn't leave you with enough Disney Princess Band-aids?

"24" is the only show on TV where New York's Finest are a bunch of chumps that just get in the way (or in the worst case scenario - are actually the bad guys).

On the bright side - Freddie's a Jack Bauer fanboy!

First, we have the hacksaw, now a fireman's axe. What's next? A sharpened popsicle stick in the eyeball?

No blonde bimbos for this president (that one came from my dad). But there are waaay too many blonde bimbos running around here... And "interview in the hotel room??" Come on, president's wife-lady - you know that's a bunch of crap.

(More Commercial Break Blather - What if Jack had a dog? And what if the dog had a bullet-proof vest? It'd have to have a hoodie to go with it. My sister was teasing our weenie dog during the commercials and that conversation came up)

Sooo... if this new space-age, Star Trek-looking CTU is so much faster at catching bad guys, why didn't they change the name of the show to "12?" (They're so fast, they already have the naked body scanners!)

Little Teri - "That's me, that's Mommy, that's Daddy, that's you... and that's the president getting assassinated!!"

Yay to Kim for saving the season!! (but boo to the sappy separation piano music. Another tick in the column for evidence that Jack is finally going to buy it in hour 23)

(Even More Commercial Break Blather - Because McDonald's is the place for geeky guys to pick up hot women. Honestly...)

C'mon, Chloe, you know how this works - you come up with a perfectly plausible explanation and even have evidence to back it up - of course no one is going to listen to you! But the White House's response to Jack's advice has been upgraded to "Hellz, no!!" to "I'll think about it." After nine years of Jack being right all the time, something had to sink in.

On Jack being found in the armory by Bubba and Freddie - d'you honestly think Jack's going to be taken out by a BOP! centerfold and a guy that made ol' Forrest look like a PhD? Shoot, Jack even has the hot shoulder bag! And a Malibu! (love to the 'bu!!)

And finish out with some preview blather - Of course Jack's got a gun! What do you think he'd have? A slingshot?

Renee's lookin' like Michelle!! And it doesn't look forced!! *smiles* ^_^ \/

Weekend Thoughts on Winter, School and Sports

It's Saturday out at the ranch. And I have a few scattered thoughts on some things that, by themselves would not make a good LJ post. But together, I can make up a list. Hearkening back to my days as editor-in-chief of The Snowdrift, I resurrect "Liner Notes."

I Can See Polar Bears From My House: Arctic wind has taken over much of the continental United States. This has created a condition that most of us call "January." Florida and much of the deep South is seeing record low temperatures. A little closer to home, the stockyard is basically a giant ice block. Snow that fell off the roof and onto the front porch in December is now a pile of ice that defies any attempt at dumping salt or Ice Melt on it. The polar ice caps' distant cousin has taken up residence in my front yard and will probably be there until April.

So, I ask global warming nuts - those who can only brave the arctic cold in mid-July when the Earth's axis tilt has those cute polar bears staring down the sun. Those that videotape these cuddly creatures floating on their summer ice boats and say the bears pitifully floating out to oblivion (when in reality the polar bears are just out fishing and can't figure out if what the bearded hippie is pointing at it is a camera or a gun). Those that demand that the rest of us sacrifice our lifestyle by turning off lights and using flashlights (oh wait, the batteries are bad for the environment - and we certainly can't light any fires, either). I ask all you who have not bathed since Woodstock - if this Arctic wind has settled over the northern hemisphere, does this mean that this global warming (that is melting the ice caps and drowning polar bears) is officially over? This cold kinda puts a damper on all your big plans for taking down capitalism (India and China are saying "Can we get back to business now?)

I Am Proud of Who I Am... I Am - a Librarian!! I got my syllabus for two of my classes this semester! And wait until you hear what one of my assignments will be. The professor has given us all a list of movies to watch and write a paper on one, answering questions that she will provide. And guess what two of the movies are - The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. I have them both on DVD and seen both many times. (In an odd twist of fate, "The Mummy Returns" was on Starz last night). I have gone from having to read obscure literary fiction that only pasty college professors read in their dark holes to doing homework that embraces popular culture. It's a breath of fresh air!

Playoffs? Playoffs??? Don't Talk About Playoffs!! It wouldn't be Wild Card Weekend if I didn't have something to say about football. I refuse to cheer for the New York Jets. Not that I have any big beef with them and not that I have any great love for the Cincinnati Bengals. Just that they would not be in the playoffs at all if the Colts and the Bengals hadn't sat their starters the last two weeks of the season. By rights, they shouldn't even be here.

And the Bengals just lost. That's what happens when you take your foot off the gas when you have everything wrapped up. Let this be a lesson to you ding-dongs.

Actually, maybe I should be cheering for the J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets! to go all the way. Maybe that would finally illustrate the stupidity of throwing games at the end of the season when you have the top seed/home-field advantage/division title wrapped up. But the dumb thing is that nobody of prominence would point that little detail out. ...sigh...

Prediction of Doom: Speaking of the playoffs, it seems like all the teams I've been pulling for this year folded the last few weeks of the season (with the possible exception of the Vikings, but it was the Giants, so meh...) I've always hated the Dallas Cowboys and I've only recently gained a dislike of the Jets. But they're both suddenly hot and it would be my rotten luck that we would have a Jets-Cowboys Super Bowl. And the Cowboys would win. What can I say? I'm being a pessimist this year.

Happy 2010, y'all!

It's 2010. I didn't realize the ending of a decade was that big of a deal (since I was 4 when the 80s ended and the end of the 90s was more about the end of the millennium).

Let's see... taking stock of the last ten years - quite a bit has happened to me: my family moved from the place we'd lived since the pioneers, I graduated high school, graduated college (twice), went on a mission, bought a car, bought a ranch, gained a brother-in-law, gained a renewed love for sports (and a renewed hatred of old rivals), started writing a book, the Utes busted the BCS (twice), ... and I'm still living in my parents' house.

All in all - a productive decade (Hey, I can't get everything accomplished at once - next decade I'll be able to add "got a Masters degree").

Oh, for Christmas, I bought myself a Jane Austen journal. One of the quotes in it pretty well sums my life up: "I wish as well as everybody else to be perfectly happy; but, like everybody else it must be in my own way." (from Sense and Sensibility).

Making that quote my motto (one of many) is about as close as I will get to making New Years Resolutions (resolutions are stupid because everyone breaks them. I'd rather make changes because I want to, not just because I buy a new calendar). Actually, I want it on one of those wooden placard thingies that are a big deal in people's living rooms. You know, the ones that say things like "All because two people fell in love" and the like. Maybe I'll put it on an LJ icon.

Everybody, have a Happy New Year.

PS - At precisely 12:00:02 am this morning, my ten-year-old cousin poked me in the eye rally hard (it still kinda hurts). When the first thing you remember of the new year is being nearly blind for a full minute, what does that mean for the rest of your year? (guess it's better than some people who wake up in the new year and can't remember what the crap they did to celebrate)

I've Seen This Movie Before and I Don't Like It

The Colts lost to the JETS???? The freaking JETS??? You don't lose to the Jets!! I don't care if you have the playoffs wrapped up - I WANT AN UNDEFEATED SEASON!!! DON'T PUT IN YOUR JV BOYS, DAMMIT!!

Okay, okay - the undefeated season would have been nice, especially if they won the Super Bowl (because it's something the Patriots couldn't do - neener neener), but it wasn't a necessity. What I'm pissed about is this: Whenever the Colts clinch the first-round bye in the playoffs, they sit their starters and throw the last two games of the season. Then, they crap out in the playoffs and let the Patriots or the Broncos through, which ticks off the rest of the world ("the rest of the world" meaning me). The only time the Colts won the Super Bowl was when they went into the playoffs as a wild card team and went the distance and beat the Bears. They didn't rest anybody at any time and that, in my educated observations, was the difference.

I'd like to see something really revolutionary: play Manning and the rest of the starters all the way through the regular season to get some winning momentum for the post-season and then see what happens. If nothing changes, then I won't get on their case ever again. But they didn't so I'm ranting about it. And you all have to deal with it. Tough turtles. I'm mad and real life people are being asses about it. After I listen to their rantings and ravings... (that's another story for another day - this is why I have a blog).

Bottom Line: Colts First-round bye + Sitting starters=playoff disaster. Not cool.

The Latest Special Effects Vomit-fest

LJ has been whoring advertising that "Avatar" movie a lot lately. Here's my initial opinion from movie trailers, TV ads and the Wikipedia entry:

I will probably NOT be seeing "Avatar" - in theaters, on Netflix or otherwise. I have an aversion to movies that portray humans as hideously evil, planet-raping, innocent-creature-killing monsters. And James Cameron is not one of my favorite directors (though, he did give us one of the funniest movies to MST3K to). If the little blue creatures were actually the bad guys, I might look into it. But, I have a loyalty to my species (in spite of all their faults), thankyouverymuch. In all fairness, I hate "Fern Gully" and "Bambi" for the same reason.

In the spirit of The Preemptive Critics (a Utah Statesman classic) - I preemptively hate this movie.

I haven't seen "The Blind Side" yet, so that's what I'll probably go see.

PS - From a "real" critic, Jeff Vice of the Deseret Morning News: All special effects, no plot. I thought as much.

PPS - Question: Is it possible to have a good action-fantasy-sci-fi-special-effects movie and STILL have a coherent storyline? Oh wait, that's right - Lord of the Rings did it (though, I sure someone would argue with that... sigh...).

*sniffs* Is Something Burning?

*gasp* - My spinach puffs!! (actually - I think something is wrong with the dishwasher. Because nothing is cooking and the dishwasher is the only thing running right now. Crap...)

Okay - onto the real post!

Breathe? Breathe? Nah - don't need to.

Yet, I finally find myself at home without anyone hollering for me to do anything for them. Took a hour and a half drive with three very obnoxious children (two of which I didn't know I would be carting) yammering in the backseat, plus the weenie dog nesting in the front seat. Did I mention the snowpacked gravel roads? Oh yes, it was a joy... Oy - I remain a firm believer that baby-sitting is the best form of birth control (the second best form is being called to teach the 3-year-olds in church, which explains why my sister and brother-in-law have elected to wait to have kids. Personally, I do not blame them).

Well, I do have some updating to do, which I am going to do while I watch the Giants and the Eagles grapple in the fourth quarter. What Eli was thinking when he slid for a first down and ended up fumbling I will never know.

Let's begin with Wednesday (yes, I am that far behind)

Wednesday was the BIG event - I went to Costco to meet Sarah Palin and have her sign my copy of her book, "Going Rogue." My roommate came with me - she just wanted to shake Sarah's hand. Did I mention I got on TV?

So, Costco people are officially known as "The Fun Police." Or they have joined the infamous group of people who are the Fun Police. First, we get into the door - bear in mind that I bought my book on Amazon for $9 (they had a pre-order special and I wasn't about the pass it up). I wasn't going to fork over any money to Costco on this trip. But we come to the door and the offspring of Satan Costco employees inform us that to even get to say hi to Sarah, we had to fork out $50 for a Costco membership. Well, I was pissed - but my roommate said that she'd get a card because she would probably use it later anyway. She signed up and we worked out a system that she would show her card, get her ticket in line and then pass the card to me so I could pretend it was mine. And... what do you know, it actually worked!

Oh - and another tick in the Fun Police column - there were these insanely funny Tea Party people giving out fliers and telling us about their website (tpartyt.com) and showing us their awesome Tea Party shirts (and even giving them out for free - I got one that shows Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin as "The Refounding Fathers." It was pretty sweet). Well, then the Costco nerds come down the line insisting that we give back the fliers these guys had passed out (I kept one in my Jack Bauer bag - I was being rebellious), citing their Costco BS that "We take care of our members. You'll notice that you don't have fliers sticking to your cars. This is how we provide a pleasant shopping experience..." It was at this point I was distracted by a butterfly going past and I stopped listening (and we found a flier sticking to our car when we got out of the store. It was glorious).

So, Costco = Fun Police. I'm glad I'm not a member. Shoot, I don't even have a Sam's Club card either. So, nyah (the crazy thing - the Secret Service guys that came as part of the entourage were more personable than the Costco employees).

But we had a blast. There were some wonderful ladies that we stood next to in line and we got to talk politics with some very reasonable and fun people. And Rod Decker (aka The Resident Sad Utah Liberal from Channel 2) showed up to sneer at interview people in line and try to talk to Sarah, which, she wasn't giving interviews because the media are a bunch of depraved loons that just paint her in a bad light. Which Rod tried to do to us in line, but we weren't having it. I got to talk to him in front of the camera - and I later found out that I made it on TV (yay!!) I just said that, yeah, Sarah's had family problems, but she's handled herself with dignity and class and she's connected with normal people and she doesn't have to kiss anybody's butt for anything. Then, Rod went along, then he came back to me and tried to bait me into talking about Sarah's daughter's dweeby ex-boyfriend (the wart who got her pregnant). I then replied that he's just trying to ride on Sarah's success and get his 15 minutes of fame and he isn't worth the powder it'd take to blow him to hell (well, I didn't say that part in front of the camera, but if this one lady hadn't been yelling at me what to say, I probably would have said it - sheesh, woman, I'm the one this nerd's talking to...)

And then - WE GOT TO MEET SARAH!! Holy cow - that was AWESOME! The Fun Police kept the line going, so all I got to tell her was my name, that she was awesome and I loved the part in her book when she talks about her daughter, Piper, being her unofficial press ambassador (Piper is made of win ^_^). After we were herded through the line, my roommate and I also got to talk to Sarah's parents and I got my picture taken with Sarah's mom. Really wonderful people (and they weren't constrained by the Fun Police either).

All in all, morons notwithstanding, a really cool experience.

Actually, that's probably all that I haven't posted about. I've just been going a million miles a minute - doing everything I possibly can and getting nothing accomplished. Such is my life. Sarah Palin pictures will be coming. I'm just too lazy to go find my camera cord. Plus, I think I'd rather wait until I get the picture of me actually with Sarah. They had a professional photographer there and you have to order the picture with Sarah. It may be online by now - who knows?

(Dang it - the Giants are losing. That makes me sad...)

For the next few days...

I'm going to be in and out with very little internet access (I can check stuff on my phone, but it's hard to post much unless I'm really, really, REALLY patient - yeah, right. Best I can do is a Facebook status update). I have a good friend whose brother-in-law passed away this morning and I have plenty of family Christmas hoopla to attend to AND I'm working on a business deal with my dad (I'm getting some more legal responsibility with regards to our family business, so this is a wild roller coaster ride that I'll have to fill you in on when it's all done). And, of course, it all had to happen THIS week... -_-'

So, I'm not ignoring internet life - just some things have to take a backseat for now. I was lucky enough to steal a few moments on the aforementioned friend's computer for a bit to post an update. But I'll be back soon (I just found out that my parents have wireless internet - YAY!!) In the meantime, keep fighting the good fight, y'all ^_^

It's the BCS - What Did You Expect?

TCU and Boise State are getting the "Sit down little kid and let the elitist jerks run the show" treatment. Yes folks, the Fiesta Bowl is officially the BCS baby-sitters' bowl - just throw the BCS busters a bone so they'll shut up and let's go to the country club, sip martinis and watch Florida, Ohio State, Texas and Alabama, just like we have since the dawn of time. Laaaaaaaame....

I think Doug Robinson had a column a few years ago that said it best: in college basketball, Cinderella is celebrated and even cheered on. In football, Cinderella is the ugly hag that the BCS wants to hide in the closet.

Memo to the BCS - your story never changes, so the rest of us don't give a flying leap about it. This is why March Madness is more fun. BRING ON THE FRICKIN' PLAYOFF!!

Oh well, I guess the WAC and the MWC are going to get some moola for this. Next year, let's have three BCS busting teams. They can't ignore that and they'll have to give at least one of them a more prestigious bowl spot.

(I blame byu's 1984 team - they didn't have the BCS before then. But because the '84 Zoobies scheduled a bunch of cream puffs to get to the national championship, the football bluebloods went "Oh no - we can't have that, we have to rig it so we win every year." Proof positive that, other than Steve Young, nothing great ever came out of byu football).

We Were Classless When Classless Wasn't Cool

USU-byu basketball game tonight. It was "Adventures in Hardcore Fandom" to the extreme.

First, you have to get in line, which some enterprising individuals started YESTERDAY at 4:30 pm - set up a tent and everything! By 3:00 this afternoon, my roommate called to tell me that the line was around the Spectrum and all the way to the HPER building, so I might want to think about going to stand in line. Also, I was planning on going with some friends who both worked until later, so it would behoove me to go save a place for us.

So, I went. It wasn't too bad - then the sun went down. Holy. Crap. Can you say "Frostbite?" Some people standing next to me in line started playing "Ninja Destruction," a game that should have more movement than it does to keep you warm, but I was still freezing. I texted one of the friends coming with me, asking her to bring a blanket. She texted me back saying she didn't have one, but would I like hot chocolate? She brought the goods - and it was HOT. But I chugged it down like it was Gatorade. It warmed me up for a little while.

THEN - it was finally time to go into the Spectrum. We were dang lucky - I swear they shut the doors right after we swiped our student ID cards. Now a new problem: finding seats. I think some people snuck in without checking their cards, so there were NO SEATS in the student section -_-' We tried to commandeer some season ticket holders' seat - until they showed up :( Then we tried to stand in the aisle without getting caught. But some "nice" people pointed out two empty seats next to them and we took them before security could come clean us out of the aisles (I'll explain why "nice" is in quotations in a moment).

Oh - I made signs for this game. But we were so far up - we were behind the giant American flag in the corner, so if I held up my signs, no one would be able to see them. I compensated by holding them lower - but then the teeny-bopper freshmen behind me (who wouldn't know a basketball from a... never mind...) kept whining that they couldn't see and the "nice" guy next to me kept glaring. But, there were a couple of short Mexican kids in front of me who no savvy loco Americanos and they sat down frequently so I could display my signs without angering the locals.

And this is the best part - a few rows down, another kid had a sign that he kept holding up (it wasn't blocking anything). The "nice" guy next to me yelled for him to put it down, but he didn't hear him (try hearing anything more than six inches away when the Spectrum is in full basketball mode). "Nice" Guy procures an empty water bottle and chucks it at Sign Boy, beaning him on the head. Sign Boy looks around for the culprit - I discreetly jab my thumb in the direction of "nice" guy - Sign Boy sees it and flips "Nice" Guy" off. I felt vindicated. If I couldn't directly annoy byu fans, at least I got the jerk next to me flipped off.

Oh yeah, the game: I will say this - I'm thankful my boys shot poorly in the first half and not in the second half. Every time they let the long bomb go, I wanted to crawl in a hole. I had flashbacks of last Saturday, it was so bad. But we pulled it out and I am happy. The last USU game I attended before I graduated two years ago, we played Idaho and we lost. That was not a happy thing. I'm glad that they won this game, which is the actual last game I got to see as a USU student. The fact that it was byu is icing on the cake.

Even though I didn't get people to see my signs - people in line liked them. Other sign-makers weren't as creative. One doof just wrote "byu isn't very good." I don't want to disparage my fellow Aggies, but what kind of creativity does that take? Another sign said "Cats lick themselves" (WTF?) and one just said "byu swallows." I simply can't believe it - I had at least ten clever ideas and that's the kind of crap you come up with? I think you need to be behind the flag in the nosebleeds.

Though the best one that wasn't mine (face it, mine were pretty good) was "Coach Rose still owes me gas money from last year." There were plenty referencing max hall's idiocy (we even got to chant "Classless" at the few byu dorks that made the trip. I was shocked that they were even there - I thought they could only find Vegas).

All in all - a happy day. Revenge is a dish best served cold (cold here meaning sub-zero temperatures - my thumbs still haven't recovered).

(What kind of name is "Jimmer?" Seriously - what were your parents smoking?)

Pictures!!

First, my signs:






























(This one was a favorite ^_^)

Game Day shirt - the back just says "Beat the Cougars." Lame... Last year's were better. (Ignore my five chins)
















Lining up outside the Spectrum at 4:00 pm. Some of those people waaaaay in the front had been there since yesterday.















More people lined up.















The Winning Team!!















The Losing Team (and their loser fans behind them)

It's a Rivalry Thing. You Wouldn't Understand

It's Game Day - Utah State vs. byu. Oh boy, there is sooo much good material for this. And I'm a little loopy because of the magic marker smell. Yes folks, I made POSTERS for the game tonight!! I don't know if the game is televised, but I'll wave when I hold up my signs. Of course, pictures are a given and will be forthcoming (with game day shirt and everything. Actually, I thought last year's shirts were funnier, but I can't do anything about that. Maybe if they have one at DI...)

Some jokes that didn't make the cut, but should have:

- Beat byu so max hall can hate us too (if I have to explain this, you haven't been paying attention the last few days)

- Glad you could find your way here. Sorry it wasn't Vegas (referencing the fact that the Zoo had to play a "road game" against USU at the EnergySolutions Arena in Salt Lake last year because they couldn't handle coming all the way up to Logan - yet the football team can make it to the Vegas bowl every year)

- Win or lose, you still have to live in Provo (this was on the game day shirts last year, so the novelty has probably worn off)

Oh - for people preaching "tolerance" and "love" and "can't we all just get along and hug each other?", I have one thing to say: It's a rivalry thing. You wouldn't understand. Let us have this one time of the year where all our hate and animosity comes out against our arch-rivals and we'll leave you alone the other 50 weeks in the year. Fair enough.