Sunday, December 13, 2009

*sniffs* Is Something Burning?

*gasp* - My spinach puffs!! (actually - I think something is wrong with the dishwasher. Because nothing is cooking and the dishwasher is the only thing running right now. Crap...)

Okay - onto the real post!

Breathe? Breathe? Nah - don't need to.

Yet, I finally find myself at home without anyone hollering for me to do anything for them. Took a hour and a half drive with three very obnoxious children (two of which I didn't know I would be carting) yammering in the backseat, plus the weenie dog nesting in the front seat. Did I mention the snowpacked gravel roads? Oh yes, it was a joy... Oy - I remain a firm believer that baby-sitting is the best form of birth control (the second best form is being called to teach the 3-year-olds in church, which explains why my sister and brother-in-law have elected to wait to have kids. Personally, I do not blame them).

Well, I do have some updating to do, which I am going to do while I watch the Giants and the Eagles grapple in the fourth quarter. What Eli was thinking when he slid for a first down and ended up fumbling I will never know.

Let's begin with Wednesday (yes, I am that far behind)

Wednesday was the BIG event - I went to Costco to meet Sarah Palin and have her sign my copy of her book, "Going Rogue." My roommate came with me - she just wanted to shake Sarah's hand. Did I mention I got on TV?

So, Costco people are officially known as "The Fun Police." Or they have joined the infamous group of people who are the Fun Police. First, we get into the door - bear in mind that I bought my book on Amazon for $9 (they had a pre-order special and I wasn't about the pass it up). I wasn't going to fork over any money to Costco on this trip. But we come to the door and the offspring of Satan Costco employees inform us that to even get to say hi to Sarah, we had to fork out $50 for a Costco membership. Well, I was pissed - but my roommate said that she'd get a card because she would probably use it later anyway. She signed up and we worked out a system that she would show her card, get her ticket in line and then pass the card to me so I could pretend it was mine. And... what do you know, it actually worked!

Oh - and another tick in the Fun Police column - there were these insanely funny Tea Party people giving out fliers and telling us about their website ( and showing us their awesome Tea Party shirts (and even giving them out for free - I got one that shows Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin as "The Refounding Fathers." It was pretty sweet). Well, then the Costco nerds come down the line insisting that we give back the fliers these guys had passed out (I kept one in my Jack Bauer bag - I was being rebellious), citing their Costco BS that "We take care of our members. You'll notice that you don't have fliers sticking to your cars. This is how we provide a pleasant shopping experience..." It was at this point I was distracted by a butterfly going past and I stopped listening (and we found a flier sticking to our car when we got out of the store. It was glorious).

So, Costco = Fun Police. I'm glad I'm not a member. Shoot, I don't even have a Sam's Club card either. So, nyah (the crazy thing - the Secret Service guys that came as part of the entourage were more personable than the Costco employees).

But we had a blast. There were some wonderful ladies that we stood next to in line and we got to talk politics with some very reasonable and fun people. And Rod Decker (aka The Resident Sad Utah Liberal from Channel 2) showed up to sneer at interview people in line and try to talk to Sarah, which, she wasn't giving interviews because the media are a bunch of depraved loons that just paint her in a bad light. Which Rod tried to do to us in line, but we weren't having it. I got to talk to him in front of the camera - and I later found out that I made it on TV (yay!!) I just said that, yeah, Sarah's had family problems, but she's handled herself with dignity and class and she's connected with normal people and she doesn't have to kiss anybody's butt for anything. Then, Rod went along, then he came back to me and tried to bait me into talking about Sarah's daughter's dweeby ex-boyfriend (the wart who got her pregnant). I then replied that he's just trying to ride on Sarah's success and get his 15 minutes of fame and he isn't worth the powder it'd take to blow him to hell (well, I didn't say that part in front of the camera, but if this one lady hadn't been yelling at me what to say, I probably would have said it - sheesh, woman, I'm the one this nerd's talking to...)

And then - WE GOT TO MEET SARAH!! Holy cow - that was AWESOME! The Fun Police kept the line going, so all I got to tell her was my name, that she was awesome and I loved the part in her book when she talks about her daughter, Piper, being her unofficial press ambassador (Piper is made of win ^_^). After we were herded through the line, my roommate and I also got to talk to Sarah's parents and I got my picture taken with Sarah's mom. Really wonderful people (and they weren't constrained by the Fun Police either).

All in all, morons notwithstanding, a really cool experience.

Actually, that's probably all that I haven't posted about. I've just been going a million miles a minute - doing everything I possibly can and getting nothing accomplished. Such is my life. Sarah Palin pictures will be coming. I'm just too lazy to go find my camera cord. Plus, I think I'd rather wait until I get the picture of me actually with Sarah. They had a professional photographer there and you have to order the picture with Sarah. It may be online by now - who knows?

(Dang it - the Giants are losing. That makes me sad...)

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