Sunday, January 31, 2010

Superhero Sunday

I didn't intend for this to happen, but it did - the boys were watching "Batman and Robin" on Encore. And, face it, once you've seen "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight," the older Batman movies just seem a little - okay, a lot - hokey. Like, cheesy to the point of ridiculousness (add to the fact that I cannot take George Clooney seriously).

So, I put in "Batman Begins" because I hadn't seen it in a while. Then, I realized I hadn't seen "Spider-Man" for a long time - and here I am, watching "Spider-Man."

Good thing we don't have any of the Superman movies or I'd be onto that next...

(If you're looking for your comic book hero fix, I recommend this guy's YouTube channel. These parodies are awesome ^_^)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Ode to Mr. Poe

Our internet's back!! I feel like I've been on planet Mars for the last few days without my internet connection (crap, I hope this doesn't mean I'm addicted to the internet - I was just listening to a John Bytheway talk about turning off TV and video games and doing something productive with your life. Some of the examples he cited were of people who were insanely addicted to RPGs and some of them ended up dead because they neglected food and sleep in favor of video games... oy... that's enough to get anybody off the computer...) But I'm back with scores of updates to add to the ol' LJ. The first is an adventure in weenie dog ownership and the last two are "24" and "Heroes" rehashes, respectively. Blood and surgical warning for the first one and spoiler warnings for the last two.

Most of the time, Scout the weenie dog stays in the house. However, when we all leave, we let her outside to run and frolic about the ranch. Up until now, she's been okay - for a little dog, she can take care of herself pretty well.

Well, on Sunday, we came home from church. My mom had my sisters and my cousins in her car and I rode with my dad in the truck. We pulled up right behind Mom and all the kids were out of the car staring in horror at something. Scout pranced out from under the Suburban - and her whole head and right shoulder was covered in blood! The kids were all screaming - my sister looked like she was going to cry (I was going to cry - then I was going to go shoot whatever bigger dog mauled her). Dad picked her up - in church clothes and all - and took her in the house to clean her up and see what was wrong.

At first, I thought Mom hit Scout, then I thought one of the bigger dogs had mauled her (I was seriously heading for the gun cabinet). But what really happened was that the tip of her ear had snagged on something and it tore. There was this little chunk just dangling off by a piece of skin (it was a lot of blood for that little wound, but that's all we could find wrong with her). After we assessed the damage and calmed little Scout the best we could, we all tried to figure out what to do next. Since the nearest vet's office is ninety miles away, that probably wasn't going to be a good option. My cousin's husband has had experience in stitching up animals - mostly cows and horses and things like that. With the proper equipment, a weenie dog couldn't be that much more difficult, so we prepped the patient for surgery on the kitchen table. Mom and Dad held Scout down, my cousin gave her some painkiller and the doctor was in.

The rest of us went outside to feed cows - I thought I could stay and watch, but when he started stitching Scout up, she started yapping pitifully and there was no way I could stay and listen to that, so I went to help the kids with chores (I'm kind of glad the horses got out while we were feeding so I didn't have to be in the house that much longer). By the time we got back, the operation was nearly done. But Scout wouldn't look at anybody except me and my sister (because we weren't the ones trying to torture her). So, while we all watched the Colts eat the Jets' lunch, Scout snuggled on my lap. She's fine now, but we can't let her outside by herself because all the big dogs try to lick her stitches. But she is well enough that she can still beg when I'm trying to eat (like right now...) and she can still go crazy when someone knocks at the door. So much for recuperation... Guess it's another freaky story to tell the grandkids... And Scout has a freaky ear-scar to show her grandkids.


(I wrote this one last night in Word).

This is the episode that I realize who President Omar reminds me of – the facial hair and the big coif – it’s Dennis Miller!

I quite like David Anders’ character (and I have yet to pick up on his name) – instead of being a heartless bastard trying to kill the most lovable hero, he is the somewhat loveable son of a Russian mobster trying to save his baby brother. I think he and Jack are going to hook up at some point – this should be good.

Farhoud - Well, when you have five hours to fill… (at least it’s not what happened in season 6 with Sleaza - poor Tom had to listen to listen in on that – erm – performance). I can just hear the writers: “One Russian hooker would only occupy him for two and a half hours – we’d better give him two.”

Dana – Freddie’s going to find out about White Trash Boy-Toy sooner or later – I’d come clean if I were you. You’d probably get some real witness protection in the process.

And how about White Trash’s little friend there? Damn, Tebow’s killing us. Watching my buddy beat the crap out of his old girlfriend is much more entertaining.

Dalia Hassan – proving the images of docile Muslim women false (but yay for not turning Kalia against her dad – let’s see Sherry Palmer pull something even remotely close to taking the high road)

Just a thought: are there any politicians’ marriages that do work out? (No wonder Wayne Palmer was a bachelor).

(Commercial Blather: Why, why, why in the name of all that is good and holy is DiCaprio still making movies? I thought he drowned in the boat…)

Jack: “Was she [Renee] raped?” Jack certainly knows how to get to the point (he’s had eight seasons to perfect his non-beat-around-the-bush methods, after all)

Win-Line of the Week: “It’s hard to look your best with a gun at your face.” – Renee Walker

Annie Wersching, For Your Consideration - I know it's still early, but give that girl the freaking Emmy!! I can't tell if she's trying to fool Jack or the Russians (or, if in some kind of twisted psychoanalytic way, she's trying to fool herself).

Next Week’s Preview: Jack plays Harry Potter! (Trading in the gun for Avada Kedavra, I see – almost makes me wish I still had my “Jack’s Horcruxes” icon)

This was a pretty so-so episode up until the point Matt starts re-enacting "The Cask of Amontillado." And I was very happy that I took that Edgar Allan Poe class in college because I got the reference! How often do you get the sweetest character to channel Montresor? Too bad Fortunato didn't have a Peter Petrelli bent on save his hysterically blind soon-to-be-killer-of-everyone friend.

Again, I raise a point - does Sylar still have a purpose or is he just going to be half-angsty-emo, half-psycho serial killer for the rest of forever? If I didn't totally love watching Zachary Quinto work, I would question the wisdom of letting him survive Kirby Plaza in the first season (as it is rumored that the writers initially meant him to die there, which probably would have opened them up for other plot lines, etc.) He's turning into the Nina Meyers of this show - except Jack shot Nina in the third season. sigh... I still don't know if I want him to go or not... I'm torn... Can they engineer a long-lost twin brother for Zach to play that isn't so crazy so he can stick around, but they can kill Sylar off? *cough, cough, Ali Larter, cough, Niki Sanders, cough cough, Tracy Strauss, cough cough*

The carnival gets weirder and weirder. For some reason, it keeps reminding me of the Dead Moon Circus from the fourth season of Sailor Moon (hey - and Heroes is in it's fourth season - weird...) Except the Sullivan Brothers' show isn't as quirky and a little more bloody-rampage-type. Well, we can't all be pink and sparkly, I suppose.

What is Daddy Bennet going to see in those mirrors, I wonder? (The DirecTV DVR description still calls him HRG, but I'm sticking with Daddy Bennet, so nyah). And what the crap is Samuel going to do with Claire? Oh - the plot continues to thicken (and where the crap did Hiro go? He's 100%, remember? It's time for some Master of Time and Space badass!! He's got to find Charlie!! You can't just leave Charlie floating in the space/time continuum like you left Kaitlyn! It's CHARLIE, dammit!!)

Okay, I have school stuff to attend to - and I feel a little drained of fandom. Off to face reality!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Hacksaw? What's a Hacksaw?

Part two of the "24" season premiere - and we get to the good stuff fast. Spoilers, yes. Explosions, even more yes.


Oh. Em. Gee. Buzz saw to the wrist! Renee's gone completely PSYCHO!! Even Jack hasn't managed that one (yet). Good grief, everyone on this show has gone nuts. Which is why we're relying on boy-band rejects to save the president. (as a side note, this is the first time in a while that the two-night season premiere hasn't ended in a bomb going off. Now, there were explosions, but not at the very end.

In hindsight, since Jack was the one who thought little Renee wasn't up to the job, I guess we should have believed him.

David Akers (aka Takezo Kensei aka Adam Monroe aka Dirty White Man) joins the cast as yet another player who just wants to be one of the "cool kids" that make it to "24."

I ... guess I'm glad Freddie survived the explosion. I'd hate to see Dana completely at the mercy of White Trash Willie. The pencil-neck horn dog certainly isn't going to be any help. Who else was wondering why she didn't tell the CTU guard that she didn't know the psycho? (Good grief, we have one-half of Bubba Gump and "Jenny" running CTU. Is there still time for Jack to catch that plane to LA?).

(On a side note: I remembered one movie Freddie is in - Scooby-Doo. And he was kind of a dork in that one too. For a Jack Bauer fanboy, he certainly doesn't know how Jack operates. But yay for him crashing the car and asking questions later. I suppose I can throw him a bone this time.)

With Bubba interrogating Meredith juxtaposed with the plans on "her" computer, I had to wonder - do they seriously think this woman is smart enough to mastermind a terrorist plot? She was dumb enough to have an affair with a foreign head of state and dumb enough to get caught.

Oh, and don't get me started on their craptastic technology and lack of manpower (their joining forces with the police department while one of said "Boys in Blue" is getting whupped by a guy handcuffed to a chair doesn't instill a lot of confidence. Even if the guy handcuffed to a chair was Jack Bauer). This isn't CTU - it's a flying circus. Sheesh, the "brothas from 'da hood" were of more help to Jack than the paid government folk.

Johnny's Offering to the Rehash: "CTU's not very high tech. They don't even have elevator music."

FTW Line of the Week: Jack "An old informant knocked on my door and it went downhill from there." Dude, that's the freakin' story of your life!

Oh - and Renee. I ask you - she spent a couple of years undercover with the Russian mob, but one day with Jack sends her into a nervous breakdown? But in hearing about her newfound badass-ness, I was expecting a Tony buzzcut (well, I guess we got a Michelle updo. I'll take it)

Another "Honestly" - who didn't suspect Farhoud? The man hasn't cut his hair since Woodstock (neither has Omar, but at least he has a semi-respectable Elvis flip).

Did anyone else notice that the top Secret Service guy looks like Wayne Palmer?

And yay for the rookie cop! While the stereotypical redneck-looking tough guy 15-years-on-the-force roughs up Jack, the newbie recognizes the hero of the show when he sees him (at least one new guy has some sense - Omar really needs to be thanking him! Then Jack, then Freddie... then maybe Chloe.

Chuck Norris Moment: CTU had more than an hour to stop an assassination attempt. Jack stopped it in 5 seconds.

Plot Moving Moment: It certainly won't be long until they realize Farhoud was involved. Just make sure they see you kill a CTU guy on your way out of the motorcade. Nope, not long at all.

And next week's preview - Just that Renee's gone crazy. And we're all dead. Jack - get on the damn plane already!!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

24 Takes Manhattan

I must admit, I enjoyed the "New York Gets Jacked" tagline. Kudos to the creativity department.

Okay, it's a new season of "24," which means the return of the "24" Rehash. Obligatory spoiler warning and here we go!


Just by way of intro, I was watching this with a roomful of family ranging from age 6 to nearly-50. Some of the jokes I gleaned from them

As the cast credits roll, we see the usual Kiefer Sutherland and Mary Lynn Rajskub joined by the heretofore unknowns... but then all seriousness goes out the window when Freddie Prinze Jr. flashes across the screen and we all (metaphorically) fall on the floor laughing. I'm sorry, but when you associate "FPJ" with girls you went to middle school putting his "BOP!" pictures all over their lockers and drooling over him in the most unashamedly fangirly ways, he's hard to put in as director of field ops for CTU. Will Freddie hold a candle to the wonderful and hardcore Carlos Bernard? Eh... we'll see. But right now, I'm praying for a contract renegotiation.

Also, along the lines of casting - Brian Hastings is Bubba from "Forrest Gump." I guess we can blame the discontent among the ranks as "Stupid" not doing so well for himself.

Jack as "Grandpa?" I think I heard a great "AWWWWWWW..." echo across the country at that one. Little Teri is pretty smart. If Jack does die at the end of this season, they could always introduce "24 Babies" - little Teri takes out terrorists and Prescott O'Brien runs tactical.

I don't think Jack is going to cut it as a personal security guy in LA. He may be many things, but there is only one Matt Parkman. This makes me think that Jack is going to bite it at the end of this season.

Throwing Rotten Fruit Line of the Week - "Who's Jack Bauer?" Duuuuude - where have you BEEN the past nine years???

I should have some line about Chloe beating the crap out of her computer - but that scene speaks for itself. But I figured out why she's having so many problems - they run on Macs in New York. Heck, they scrapped Macs in LA's CTU back in season 1.

(Commercial Blather: It strikes me how much Michelle Obama looks like Sherry Palmer. Just an innocent observation...)

I'm starting to think Chloe's feeling like an XP in a room full of Windows 7.

Dana and Freddie (I will never remember what his character's name is - he's just going to be Freddie) smells like a re-manufacture of Tony/Michelle. The original will ALWAYS be better (didn't we already try this with disastrous results?

Craptastic bandage job on Victor, Jack. What, little Teri didn't leave you with enough Disney Princess Band-aids?

"24" is the only show on TV where New York's Finest are a bunch of chumps that just get in the way (or in the worst case scenario - are actually the bad guys).

On the bright side - Freddie's a Jack Bauer fanboy!

First, we have the hacksaw, now a fireman's axe. What's next? A sharpened popsicle stick in the eyeball?

No blonde bimbos for this president (that one came from my dad). But there are waaay too many blonde bimbos running around here... And "interview in the hotel room??" Come on, president's wife-lady - you know that's a bunch of crap.

(More Commercial Break Blather - What if Jack had a dog? And what if the dog had a bullet-proof vest? It'd have to have a hoodie to go with it. My sister was teasing our weenie dog during the commercials and that conversation came up)

Sooo... if this new space-age, Star Trek-looking CTU is so much faster at catching bad guys, why didn't they change the name of the show to "12?" (They're so fast, they already have the naked body scanners!)

Little Teri - "That's me, that's Mommy, that's Daddy, that's you... and that's the president getting assassinated!!"

Yay to Kim for saving the season!! (but boo to the sappy separation piano music. Another tick in the column for evidence that Jack is finally going to buy it in hour 23)

(Even More Commercial Break Blather - Because McDonald's is the place for geeky guys to pick up hot women. Honestly...)

C'mon, Chloe, you know how this works - you come up with a perfectly plausible explanation and even have evidence to back it up - of course no one is going to listen to you! But the White House's response to Jack's advice has been upgraded to "Hellz, no!!" to "I'll think about it." After nine years of Jack being right all the time, something had to sink in.

On Jack being found in the armory by Bubba and Freddie - d'you honestly think Jack's going to be taken out by a BOP! centerfold and a guy that made ol' Forrest look like a PhD? Shoot, Jack even has the hot shoulder bag! And a Malibu! (love to the 'bu!!)

And finish out with some preview blather - Of course Jack's got a gun! What do you think he'd have? A slingshot?

Renee's lookin' like Michelle!! And it doesn't look forced!! *smiles* ^_^ \/

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Weekend Thoughts on Winter, School and Sports

It's Saturday out at the ranch. And I have a few scattered thoughts on some things that, by themselves would not make a good LJ post. But together, I can make up a list. Hearkening back to my days as editor-in-chief of The Snowdrift, I resurrect "Liner Notes."

I Can See Polar Bears From My House: Arctic wind has taken over much of the continental United States. This has created a condition that most of us call "January." Florida and much of the deep South is seeing record low temperatures. A little closer to home, the stockyard is basically a giant ice block. Snow that fell off the roof and onto the front porch in December is now a pile of ice that defies any attempt at dumping salt or Ice Melt on it. The polar ice caps' distant cousin has taken up residence in my front yard and will probably be there until April.

So, I ask global warming nuts - those who can only brave the arctic cold in mid-July when the Earth's axis tilt has those cute polar bears staring down the sun. Those that videotape these cuddly creatures floating on their summer ice boats and say the bears pitifully floating out to oblivion (when in reality the polar bears are just out fishing and can't figure out if what the bearded hippie is pointing at it is a camera or a gun). Those that demand that the rest of us sacrifice our lifestyle by turning off lights and using flashlights (oh wait, the batteries are bad for the environment - and we certainly can't light any fires, either). I ask all you who have not bathed since Woodstock - if this Arctic wind has settled over the northern hemisphere, does this mean that this global warming (that is melting the ice caps and drowning polar bears) is officially over? This cold kinda puts a damper on all your big plans for taking down capitalism (India and China are saying "Can we get back to business now?)

I Am Proud of Who I Am... I Am - a Librarian!! I got my syllabus for two of my classes this semester! And wait until you hear what one of my assignments will be. The professor has given us all a list of movies to watch and write a paper on one, answering questions that she will provide. And guess what two of the movies are - The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. I have them both on DVD and seen both many times. (In an odd twist of fate, "The Mummy Returns" was on Starz last night). I have gone from having to read obscure literary fiction that only pasty college professors read in their dark holes to doing homework that embraces popular culture. It's a breath of fresh air!

Playoffs? Playoffs??? Don't Talk About Playoffs!! It wouldn't be Wild Card Weekend if I didn't have something to say about football. I refuse to cheer for the New York Jets. Not that I have any big beef with them and not that I have any great love for the Cincinnati Bengals. Just that they would not be in the playoffs at all if the Colts and the Bengals hadn't sat their starters the last two weeks of the season. By rights, they shouldn't even be here.

And the Bengals just lost. That's what happens when you take your foot off the gas when you have everything wrapped up. Let this be a lesson to you ding-dongs.

Actually, maybe I should be cheering for the J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets! to go all the way. Maybe that would finally illustrate the stupidity of throwing games at the end of the season when you have the top seed/home-field advantage/division title wrapped up. But the dumb thing is that nobody of prominence would point that little detail out. ...sigh...

Prediction of Doom: Speaking of the playoffs, it seems like all the teams I've been pulling for this year folded the last few weeks of the season (with the possible exception of the Vikings, but it was the Giants, so meh...) I've always hated the Dallas Cowboys and I've only recently gained a dislike of the Jets. But they're both suddenly hot and it would be my rotten luck that we would have a Jets-Cowboys Super Bowl. And the Cowboys would win. What can I say? I'm being a pessimist this year.

Friday, January 1, 2010

Happy 2010, y'all!

It's 2010. I didn't realize the ending of a decade was that big of a deal (since I was 4 when the 80s ended and the end of the 90s was more about the end of the millennium).

Let's see... taking stock of the last ten years - quite a bit has happened to me: my family moved from the place we'd lived since the pioneers, I graduated high school, graduated college (twice), went on a mission, bought a car, bought a ranch, gained a brother-in-law, gained a renewed love for sports (and a renewed hatred of old rivals), started writing a book, the Utes busted the BCS (twice), ... and I'm still living in my parents' house.

All in all - a productive decade (Hey, I can't get everything accomplished at once - next decade I'll be able to add "got a Masters degree").

Oh, for Christmas, I bought myself a Jane Austen journal. One of the quotes in it pretty well sums my life up: "I wish as well as everybody else to be perfectly happy; but, like everybody else it must be in my own way." (from Sense and Sensibility).

Making that quote my motto (one of many) is about as close as I will get to making New Years Resolutions (resolutions are stupid because everyone breaks them. I'd rather make changes because I want to, not just because I buy a new calendar). Actually, I want it on one of those wooden placard thingies that are a big deal in people's living rooms. You know, the ones that say things like "All because two people fell in love" and the like. Maybe I'll put it on an LJ icon.

Everybody, have a Happy New Year.

PS - At precisely 12:00:02 am this morning, my ten-year-old cousin poked me in the eye rally hard (it still kinda hurts). When the first thing you remember of the new year is being nearly blind for a full minute, what does that mean for the rest of your year? (guess it's better than some people who wake up in the new year and can't remember what the crap they did to celebrate)