Thursday, February 26, 2015

Time for Reflection: A Quick(ish) Update

It's been so long since I've really had anything to write about here. But I'm feeling a bit reflective tonight - and I thought of a few things that I need to make mention of before I find myself having gone a month without a blog post.

A lot of things have changed in the past month - yet, they have stayed the same. First off, I got a new job and it's one that I am all at once excited and terrified about. I imagine that it would be the same for anyone who dreamt of doing something most of their life, never actually believing that it would ever happen, then it does and they're afraid of either screwing it up or that they won't live up to expectations (which is kind of the same thing - yet somehow different). My new job is writing for a political commentary blog. I've never made a huge deal out of my political views publicly - mostly because I never felt qualified enough to make concise arguments, but also because I tend to be friends with people who disagree with me politically. I have no idea why this happened - it just does (my mom asked me once why I studied such liberal subjects in college and I didn't have a good answer for her then either - I feel I can enjoy writing and literature and geek culture as a conservative just as well as anyone with liberal politics. I know there are people who would faint dead away at the mere thought of such things, but I somehow still manage to sleep well at night).

Recently, I saw in the newspaper a feature on the annual Sterling Scholars competition coming up. If you don't know, Sterling Scholars is where high school seniors in Utah are chosen to represent their schools in several different academic fields. They put together a portfolio of their achievements in that subject and compete with other students across the state for who was the best student in that subject. When I was a senior, I represented my tiny high school as the English Sterling Scholar (we were so small and we'd all chosen our favorite fields anyway that it was a foregone conclusion). I worked my butt off to put together a really good portfolio - but I lost out to someone from a bigger school. I had no illusions I would actually win - but still, it hurts to lose. Fast forward twelve years later - and I am actually working as a writer. Like, hundreds of thousands of people are seeing my writing online and I am getting paid for it. I honestly don't know how many people who study English in college or become the English Sterling Scholar or whatever other accolade you can get actually go into what they study. If I've learned anything about life, it's that plans very rarely go the way you're led to believe that they will. Random opportunities present themselves at strange times and you just have to take them, whether you're ready to tackle them or not, and you hope and pray that you learn as you go (which, not to brag or anything, I'm actually quite adept at doing. I may kick and scream against the learning curve a little bit, but I will certainly learn).

Which brings me into Awkward Transition #1 - what else I've been doing in the interim. I'm still keeping a toehold in the library scene. I don't think I could give it up entirely, plus it gives me a reason to get out of the house from time to time. And I would never say no to the little bit of extra income I can get by working some night and weekend shifts every now and again. Truth be told, I would miss it if I were to give it up entirely. I won't be able to do much (if any) committee work, but I'm okay with that. It's my book geek-out place and I need that. I no longer hold any illusions that I will ever get a full-time job at the library (I've been given too many "No"s to believe that anymore - plus, my outing as one of those right-wing nuts probably precludes me from ever having a hope of that again. I've made my peace with that, though), but as a side project - it brings me life.

Of course, I'm still going strong on The Five(ish) Fangirls Podcast. Again, another much-needed outlet. All of my fellow co-hosts have become some of my very best friends (and this is without ever having met them face-to-face. Welcome to the internet age, people). I'm constantly amazed how we came into each other's lives and the random ways that we connected and just how well we click with one another. It's more than just talking about Doctor Who or Marvel or Once Upon a Time or whatever else we discuss on any given week - we're involved in each other's lives and we're interested in what we're doing on a personal level (none of that makes it onto the public podcast - but you know what I mean). Even just sending Facebook messages or whatever - it's kind of cool that we can do that. Again - not something I ever imagined I would be part of, and yet here I am.

It goes without saying that I'm still diving into all my fandoms and finding new ones. I have been seriously remiss in not coming onto my blog to fangirl over The Librarians, which is my new favorite show that I am stupidly in love with (and has led me onto other new obsessions). I need to do a big long overview/lovefest over here because it sooooo deserves to be loved on as often as possible and by as many people as can/will do it. And they just got renewed for a second season, which makes me as happy as a gaggle of 25+ YSA girls with a new guy in the ward who just turned 30 (and if you need any of that metaphor explained - see me after class. I admit, it's kind of an inside joke).

That's all I've got for now. Hopefully I'll still be able to find time for weekly Once Upon a Time reviews when that starts up again (I let Sailor Moon Crystal get away from me, for which I feel bad because I'm still very much enjoying it). But I'll be back because I really need this outlet - whether or not anyone reads it at all.

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