***Note: Yep. I'm back. It only took me a year and a half, but I FINALLY got to the next part. Hope people are still around to enjoy this.***
***
Last time...
...oh yeah... that...
Me: She did get him in the chest.
Jared: Yeah, but not that deeply.
Quick montage of the princess and her prince and living new lives, falling in love.
Usagi (inner monologue): I know we will always find one another. And we will fall in love... all over again...
Jared: But you left the Crystal in the hands of the bad guy!
Eternal love, be together... blah, blah, blah...
Jared: That's gonna hurt when she lands on it...
CLANG!
Jared: What? That shouldn't have happened!
Anime physics? Meaning, there are none. Physics, I mean.
Me: You're analyzing the trajectory of where she jabbed the sword into her stomach?
Jared: ... yeah...?
Cue "Moon Pride" - and away we go!
The Guardians finally land and lament the pathetic repeat of history. Suddenly, the Silver Crystal appears and starts growing and engulfing Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask.
Sailor Mars: We can't allow it to grow! Not in the Dark Kingdom!
Jared: Okay... why? That's something new.
The Crystal grows and grows and grows - until it's so big that no one can do anything about it.
Jared: It's the size of a bus now. What are you going to do?
Queen Metalia begins to feed off the growing Crystal. And she even gloats about it.
Jared: HOOOOOOOOOSED!
Seriously - this Crystal is like a freaking nuclear bomb. It doesn't care where the power it feeds on is coming from. It's neither good nor evil. It just... is.
Which begs the question: Why is a fourteen-year-old girl its caretaker?
Queen Metalia: I have all the energy I need! And I shall have the Crystal too!
Luna (coming through a portal with Artemis): No you won't!
Jared: What are the cats going to do??
Queen Metalia: Foolish cat!
Jared: I'm going to have to agree with the bad guy here. I mean, you're a cat! Sure you can talk and type on keyboards and stuff. You're still a cat!
Flashback to Luna talking to Queen Serenity.
Queen Serenity: Luna, promise me that you'll watch over the Princess.
Jared: So is she actually a fairy, then?
Me: I think she just had a really big bow on her back. But maybe.
Back in Present Day, Queen Metalia disappears and leaves the Sailor Guardians and the cats to figure out what to do next. The girls then teleport away.
Jared: You left the sword! You know, the powerful thing?
Luna, injured from her fight with Queen Metalia, asks Artemis to take her to the Moon so she can be near the site of the palace ruins. And... they leave without the holy sword too.
Jared: You left the sword too! Honestly, people!
And cats.
The girls arrive at their destination. Sailor Venus has some... observations to make.
Sailor Venus: We're in the Arctic Circle. Shouldn't there be ice?
Jared: Wait, THERE'S NO LAND THERE! The Arctic Circle is in the middle of the ocean.
Queen Metalia shows up and acts evil.
Sailor Guardians: Queen Metalia!
Jared: Nah, it's the Easter Bunny.
Queen Metalia: Now I have the power of the Legendary Silver Crystal within me!
Jared: Hey look, she turned into a Haunter.
Queen Metalia continues to be menacing and evil. She spreads her evil power all over the earth. People react in various ways - shock, fear, disbelief, becoming Metalia-zombie-clones and attack others.
No, seriously. That happens.
Jared: Well, that was creepy.
Yeah, it's pretty bad all the way around. Even the Sailor Guardians have given up. But then - of course - the girls remember that Usagi is their best friend and she is Happiness and Hope Personified.
Jared: At least they're consistent with the whole "Power of Love" thing.
The girls decide to give up all their power to help Usagi beat Queen Metalia and it's very awe-inspiring and stuff. Usagi, still trapped inside Queen Metalia's evilness, wakes up and slowly realizes what is going on. More or less.
Sailor Moon: The Legendary Silver Crystal!
Jared: Got a lot smaller again.
Just beyond the Crystal, Usagi sees Mamoru who is still unconscious. Also, his pocketwatch is floating in the ether and it's broken.
Sailor Moon: His pocketwatch? It stopped the sword from running me through.
Jared: The sword that breaks diamonds. Uh-huh.
Queen Metalia starts doing something... really weird and disturbing. Usagi fights her off and a lot of sparkly things and choir music take over and push away Queen Metalia's power. Mamoru wakes up and he's not brainwashed anymore (yaaay). It all happens kind of fast.
Jared: That was fairly anti-climactic.
Queen Metalia: [growls, starts flying around in all her scary evil gloriousness]
Jared: There we go!
The Silver Crystal floats near Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask. Mamoru, showing a moment of clarity, reaches up and takes it before Metalia can capture it again.
Jared: Glad someone finally grabbed the stupid thing. Letting it hang about like that, pffft.
Then a lot of crazy stuff happens, including the Shitennou coming back to life and giving Mamoru an important info dump that I really wish could have been set up better. Sigh... they really didn't handle this Generals thing very well. I guess new story ideas for Sailor Moon doesn't sell purses or lip gloss or visits to fancy themed cake shops in Japan. Oh well...
Anyway, turns out the spirits of the guys were actually responsible for keeping the sword from killing Tuxedo Mask when Sailor Moon tried to stab him.
Mamoru: You stopped the sword from piercing my heart!
Jared: Yeah, from Sailor Moon! Seriously, what was her plan??
Sailor Moon is not known for her logic and reason.
Meanwhile, Usagi and Mamoru start to get all sweet and lovey all of a sudden. Their royal alter-egos take over for a bit, too.
Jared: ... is there really time for this in the middle of a fight?
Me: There's always time for this, dear. Especially in magical girl anime.
Mamoru: Remember, aim for the star on Queen Metalia's forehead.
Jared: What do you mean "remember"? This is the first she's hearing of it!
Sailor Moon gears up to take out Queen Metalia for good... and then we get left on a cliffhanger.
Jared: That's an interesting place to end!
Well... hopefully it doesn't take me another year and a half to get to the next one. #Oops.
***
Next Time: Episode 14 - Conclusion and Commencement, Petite Etrangere
Previously: Episode 12 - Enemy, Queen Metalia
***
Last time...
...oh yeah... that...
Me: She did get him in the chest.
Jared: Yeah, but not that deeply.
Quick montage of the princess and her prince and living new lives, falling in love.
Usagi (inner monologue): I know we will always find one another. And we will fall in love... all over again...
Jared: But you left the Crystal in the hands of the bad guy!
Eternal love, be together... blah, blah, blah...
Jared: That's gonna hurt when she lands on it...
Jared: What? That shouldn't have happened!
Anime physics? Meaning, there are none. Physics, I mean.
Me: You're analyzing the trajectory of where she jabbed the sword into her stomach?
Jared: ... yeah...?
Cue "Moon Pride" - and away we go!
The Guardians finally land and lament the pathetic repeat of history. Suddenly, the Silver Crystal appears and starts growing and engulfing Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask.
Sailor Mars: We can't allow it to grow! Not in the Dark Kingdom!
Jared: Okay... why? That's something new.
The Crystal grows and grows and grows - until it's so big that no one can do anything about it.
Jared: It's the size of a bus now. What are you going to do?
Queen Metalia begins to feed off the growing Crystal. And she even gloats about it.
Jared: HOOOOOOOOOSED!
Seriously - this Crystal is like a freaking nuclear bomb. It doesn't care where the power it feeds on is coming from. It's neither good nor evil. It just... is.
Which begs the question: Why is a fourteen-year-old girl its caretaker?
Queen Metalia: I have all the energy I need! And I shall have the Crystal too!
Luna (coming through a portal with Artemis): No you won't!Jared: What are the cats going to do??
Queen Metalia: Foolish cat!
Jared: I'm going to have to agree with the bad guy here. I mean, you're a cat! Sure you can talk and type on keyboards and stuff. You're still a cat!
Flashback to Luna talking to Queen Serenity.
Queen Serenity: Luna, promise me that you'll watch over the Princess.
Me: I think she just had a really big bow on her back. But maybe.
Back in Present Day, Queen Metalia disappears and leaves the Sailor Guardians and the cats to figure out what to do next. The girls then teleport away.
Jared: You left the sword! You know, the powerful thing?
Luna, injured from her fight with Queen Metalia, asks Artemis to take her to the Moon so she can be near the site of the palace ruins. And... they leave without the holy sword too.
Jared: You left the sword too! Honestly, people!
And cats.
The girls arrive at their destination. Sailor Venus has some... observations to make.
Jared: Wait, THERE'S NO LAND THERE! The Arctic Circle is in the middle of the ocean.
Queen Metalia shows up and acts evil.
Sailor Guardians: Queen Metalia!
Jared: Nah, it's the Easter Bunny.
Queen Metalia: Now I have the power of the Legendary Silver Crystal within me!
Jared: Hey look, she turned into a Haunter.
Queen Metalia continues to be menacing and evil. She spreads her evil power all over the earth. People react in various ways - shock, fear, disbelief, becoming Metalia-zombie-clones and attack others.
No, seriously. That happens.
Jared: Well, that was creepy.
Yeah, it's pretty bad all the way around. Even the Sailor Guardians have given up. But then - of course - the girls remember that Usagi is their best friend and she is Happiness and Hope Personified.
Jared: At least they're consistent with the whole "Power of Love" thing.
The girls decide to give up all their power to help Usagi beat Queen Metalia and it's very awe-inspiring and stuff. Usagi, still trapped inside Queen Metalia's evilness, wakes up and slowly realizes what is going on. More or less.
Sailor Moon: The Legendary Silver Crystal!
Jared: Got a lot smaller again.
Just beyond the Crystal, Usagi sees Mamoru who is still unconscious. Also, his pocketwatch is floating in the ether and it's broken.
Sailor Moon: His pocketwatch? It stopped the sword from running me through.
Jared: The sword that breaks diamonds. Uh-huh.
Queen Metalia starts doing something... really weird and disturbing. Usagi fights her off and a lot of sparkly things and choir music take over and push away Queen Metalia's power. Mamoru wakes up and he's not brainwashed anymore (yaaay). It all happens kind of fast.
Jared: That was fairly anti-climactic.
Queen Metalia: [growls, starts flying around in all her scary evil gloriousness]
Jared: There we go!
Jared: Glad someone finally grabbed the stupid thing. Letting it hang about like that, pffft.
Then a lot of crazy stuff happens, including the Shitennou coming back to life and giving Mamoru an important info dump that I really wish could have been set up better. Sigh... they really didn't handle this Generals thing very well. I guess new story ideas for Sailor Moon doesn't sell purses or lip gloss or visits to fancy themed cake shops in Japan. Oh well...
Anyway, turns out the spirits of the guys were actually responsible for keeping the sword from killing Tuxedo Mask when Sailor Moon tried to stab him.
Mamoru: You stopped the sword from piercing my heart!
Jared: Yeah, from Sailor Moon! Seriously, what was her plan??
Sailor Moon is not known for her logic and reason.
Meanwhile, Usagi and Mamoru start to get all sweet and lovey all of a sudden. Their royal alter-egos take over for a bit, too.
Jared: ... is there really time for this in the middle of a fight?
Me: There's always time for this, dear. Especially in magical girl anime.
Mamoru: Remember, aim for the star on Queen Metalia's forehead.
Jared: What do you mean "remember"? This is the first she's hearing of it!
Sailor Moon gears up to take out Queen Metalia for good... and then we get left on a cliffhanger.
Jared: That's an interesting place to end!
Well... hopefully it doesn't take me another year and a half to get to the next one. #Oops.
***
Next Time: Episode 14 - Conclusion and Commencement, Petite Etrangere
Previously: Episode 12 - Enemy, Queen Metalia
