Monday, November 10, 2014

Split the Ice Apart

Review/Recap of Once Upon a Time 4.07 "The Snow Queen" - Spoilers!

Dear Everyone in Storybrooke -

*deep breath* All right - I'm okay.

No. No, I'm really not.

Okay, so what the crap just happened? Well, the Snow Queen employed proper use of psychological scarring on Emma Swan. But that doesn't excuse that whole scene of Mary Margaret and Baby Baelfire at Disney Princess "Mommy 'n Me" being a "First Time Mom." (I mean - seriously??? Does Dairy Queen have Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty in on her evil schemes or something? GAH!!)

(I know, I know - I'm trying to be a calm and rational reviewer right now. And it's just not working! Let me try talking about flashback stuff -)

So, in the Arendelle of the past, Ingrid and her sisters, Gerda and Helga... that Ingrid has ice powers and they make a pact that they're going to conceal them because they all love their sister. But that leads to Ingrid being left out of some important things in her sisters' lives. But that doesn't matter because - ~*~sisterly love~*~. Which, I've got three sisters. I get that (more or less, I guess). Still, Ingrid wants her powers gone, even against the wishes of Helga and Gerda. Three guesses where they end up going??

Good gravy, I'm going to smack him.
All roads lead to Rumple, I guess.

So, Rumple gives the sisters the gloves (you know, the gloves) and the urn (you know, the urn) - but he also insinuated that Ingrid didn't need anything more than her sisters' love and their bond and promise to always be there for each other - symbolized by the yellow ribbons the girls wore on their wrists (and the fact that Rumple wants the ribbons is proof that the sisters' love has imbued the ribbons with some form of magic). But Ingrid still gives that up and it's all downhill from there. The Duke of Weasel Town (that's what I'm calling him because he deserves it - even though I laughed my butt off when I saw that they included him in the Arendelle flashbacks. That was just great!) tries to move in on Ingrid and she defends herself with her magic, but Helga (who Weasel Boy is supposed to be engaged to) gets in the way and she dies.

I'm going to talk about Helga's death for a while here. Because that scene more than any in this episode really got to me. Like I said, I've got three younger sisters. All when we were growing up, I often felt like I needed to look out for them and protect them because that's what big sisters do! Except there were more than a few times where they were looking out for me. And there were more than a few times when I did things that hurt them - whether on purpose or accidentally. In fact - there was one time where I broke my sister's collarbone (to be fair, we were all rough-housing and my brother jumped on us and that knocked me into my sister and we both landed kind of funny, so that's how it happened), and I felt terrible about it for days afterward. I mean, she healed up fine and everything was okay eventually, but, you know - the looks that my parents gave me when it happened and then they rushed her off to the hospital... I was left at home to stew in my own guilt and try to forget what had happened and tell myself that it was an accident (hard to do when your sister's in a brace for six weeks).

Back to Arendelle - Helga's dead and Gerda comes upon the scene to find Ingrid completely wrecked by what she's done (Weasel Town conveniently sneaks off to somewhere else - rat bastard). Instead of trying to piece together what's happened, Gerda...

...traps Ingrid in the urn and goes to Grand Pabbie to erase all evidence of Helga and Ingrid and begins her path to Parental Suckitude (even though it's presumably still some years before Elsa is born).

(Gerda, honey, after all this crap you've pulled with your sister and your daughter - there ain't no way you're coming back from this in my eyes. So, deal with it).

Okay - can I talk Storybrooke now??

All right - maybe just some of the happy things. Because there were some.

Things I Liked/Noticed -

- The good ship Outlaw Queen sails on! (HOORAY!!) Weeeeeell... it's not taking on so much water anymore. That's progress! (I hope).

- Will Scarlet, oh how I adore you! (though what happened to Anastasia, I'm kind of scared to find out).

- Henry getting ready for work - "I'm getting married." HENRY, YOU PRECIOUS NUGGET!

- Rumple may still be on my shit list, but a magic potion to make old things new was pretty good. I do enjoy his interactions with Henry. They make me... not quite as mad as I could be at Rumple. He's still on my list, though.

- I don't know if this was deliberate or what, but Hook checking himself out in the mirror. Hot stuff, baby.

- Brighton Sharbino as young Ingrid. Dead ringer for Elizabeth Mitchell. Take a bow, Once casting! (are we sure Brighton isn't her daughter or niece or something?)

Now can I talk Emma and Snow Queen and ULTIMATE HEARTBREAK??



Seriously, that whole time - THAT WHOLE TIME - in the sheriff's station made me want to punch somebody! (preferably the Snow Queen, but I'd have taken Rumple in a pinch) Like, how long has Emma Swan gone without people who love her and now she has everything she wanted and YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE HER RUN AWAY FROM THAT??

I really want to know what happened when Ingrid was Emma's foster mother. I'm sure it'll get brought up at some point in a future episode. But there is some nuclear grade shady crap going on there. I mean, if you want someone to be your bestest best sister-friend-thing, how is turning Emma and her current family and friends against her going to accomplish this? (or her against them - whatever).

Of course, SNOW WHITE IS NOT HELPING!! Mama Snow, dear heart - CAN YOU NOT??

So when Emma Swan Fan Club (Charming, Hook, Elsa and - honorary member for this episode - Belle) come running into Rumple's shop because Queenie has frozen the doors of the sheriff's station shut and they need magic to get in. Rumple reluctantly agrees (Belle's puppy-eyes have that effect on him) - except Hook stays behind for a moment to point out that Rumple has been very nonchalant about this whole Snow Queen business, especially considering how many villains have come to Storybrooke with the express purpose of killing the Dark One (presumably, Killian is including himself in that count). Rumple laughs it off, yet I can't shake the feeling that Rumple is getting a bit irritated about perceptive our favorite pirate captain is. Which sets up nicely for something that happens at the end of the episode and (probably) will have major repercussions for next week as well (I'm coming to that).

Back at the sheriff's station, Dairy Queen engineers a complete emotional breakdown for Emma, which makes Emma's magic go berserk and destroys en entire wall of the building just as everyone is coming back to get Emma out. Emma is still freaking out and her magic takes out a light pole, which nearly takes out Hook, who gets shoved out of the way by Charming (oh man, the metas that have been written about that), who gets hurt. Snow rushes over and says Emma's name in that surprised/shocked/disapproving voice (again - NOT HELPING!) and Emma runs off in the yellow bug (not before Hook tries to stop her, but she's too fast or he's not fast enough - regardless, it's painful).

In the midst of all this, Dairy Queen escapes and she later goes to Rumple to make a deal, which I'm sure is full of rainbows and ice cream and purple unicorns (RIGHT?!!) Which sets up this epic two-hour episode they have planned for next week. Which, I'm just gonna go ahead and make a pretty bold prediction of what it's going to entail -

Just a hunch, mind you. But I'm fairly confident in my assessment.

Emma's boys to the rescue. Which will not end well, I'm certain.

(if I'm this keyed-up after this week, what's next week going to be like?)

No comments:

Post a Comment