Sunday, March 29, 2015

The Road To Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

Review/Recap of Once Upon a Time 4.16 "Best Laid Plans" - SPOILERS!

I'm sorry - but after this episode wasn't quite as ZOMG TRAUMA as I thought it was going to be, I'm kind of in a giddy/punchy mood. I'm LAUGHING at how serious Snow and Charming were about the whole "We stole Maleficent's baby and we suck forever!" Faces of Sadness. And, thus, this song becomes appropriate because it's sooooo over-the-top in this case -



(Can you truly, truly imagine Snow and Charming going OMG SOOPER DARK om nom nom? I can't. So that whole Snowing Redemption sequence was unintentionally freaking hilarious because - let's face it - NOT GONNA HAPPEN)

Let me just start by saying - IT'S ALL SNOW WHITE'S FAULT! Think about it - she's the one that was all freaking out about "OUR BABY IS GOING TO BECOME ANAKIN SKYWALKER AND WE MUST AVOID IT AT ALL COSTS" while Charming's like "Our baby was cute and adorable and let me dazzle our audience with my endearing Daddy!Charming act." And then you have the Apprentice giving the whole "Everyone Has The Ability To Choose Good or Evil" speech THAT I HAVE BEEN YELLING AT THE TV FOR THE PAST FOUR WEEKS! (with the exception of last week because Hook's dilemma with the Author was pitch perfect, especially given how everyone else has been losing their shit about it - so, yeah, their worry might rub off on him a bit).

BUT NOOOO - Snow has to be all "NO DARKNESS FOR BABY!" so she goes and pulls an Oedipus where they tried to avoid the prophecy by fulfilling it anyway and life sucks and UBER GUILT that I totally did not buy for one measly second and... yeah, this episode wasn't as heavy as the promos and sneak peeks would have us believe. I would get upset and yell about false advertising, but this is ABC. If there isn't over-the-top HIGH DRAMA every week, pigs are flying and Satan is ice-skating.

Let me repeat myself - Snow White is not evil. She is never going to be evil. No matter how many times you tease us with dark spots on her heart or bad things she's done - I don't buy it AT ALL. She is not that badass no matter how many scenes of her running through the forest with a bow and arrow and wearing white leather pants you show us. She is still that sweet princess-y chick that sings to birds and totally flipped out when there was a sorta, kinda, possible chance that her baby could maybe be a villain. That whole thing was exceedingly ridiculous and Emma was right to be pissed at her mother for believing that she could become a villain.

Good grief.

Anyway - what else is there to like?

Killian Jones - STILL BETTER THAN ALL YOUR FAVES! After Ursula tells him Rumple's plan, what does he do? Immediately inform Team Charming that - Emma could go dark, yo! Even if Snow and Charming have their whole "This is super-uncomfortable" whisper argument (that Henry was completely oblivious to, apparently), Emma is quick to reassure Killian that she is NOT going to go dark, no matter what (even if the good captain is doubtful - and, truly, he has reason to be cautious. Unlike Ma and Pa Charming. I really didn't buy their concern AT ALL. Just in case you weren't sure of my opinion of the whole thing.

Sticking with the good ship Captain Swan - Killian getting a wee bit jealous of Emma and August's friendship - but Emma totally reassuring her precious pirate that they're just friends. I live for these little moments between them both (also - Mal's sleeping curse put Emma and Hook to sleep next to each other and that was just "totes adorbs").

(Yes, Emma - scruffy hot dudes who wear leather jackets. You totally have a type. But I'm gonna be 100% honest here - it's a good type to have ^_^)

Henry finding out the Author's hiding place - also that he gave Regina the forgery. Give that kid a medal and all the cookies in the world!

Gold - still holds the title for most in need of smackings (OH SURE - try to explain things to Belle while she's asleep. THAT makes EVERYTHING BETTER you freaking dipshit! Only because he knows she'd boot his ass right back out the door - and she would be justified in doing so).

MY WALT DISNEY AUTHOR TRIBUTE THEORY WAS CORRECT!! (sort of. It's close enough that I'm taking it). The way August explained the Author was BRILLIANT! I love that it's not just one person, but it's more like a caretaker role - someone who keeps these stories alive in the hearts and minds of the next generation, even if they tweak them a bit here and there. Of course, Uncle Walt was the one who preserved fairy tales for our generation (more or less - he got the ball rolling on fairy tales in movies and such and that tradition continues to this day), so why wouldn't Once Upon a Time, which owes so much to Walt's interpretation, pay tribute to the man? Even if he does end up being a troublemaking trickster in the end? I still think it's clever.

(Didn't he say that the peddler's name was Walt? I swear that's what he meant. I may have to give it another watch before I know for sure).

Overall - a few small pieces were good, the whole story was kind of "meh..." I guess I'm just not that enamored of Snow and Charming's deep dark secret (strike that - Snow is the one that gets on my nerves. I have zero problem with Charming most of the time).

Next Week - WE'RE GOING BACK TO OZ! ROBIN HOOD IS BACK! ZELENA'S IN FLASHBACK! THIS IS GOING TO BE AMAZING!!!

Seriously - last season's Oz storyline was amazing and wonderful and I wanted to know if they'd ever revisit that realm - BEHOLD IT IS HAPPENING!



(but dammit I have to wait two weeks. WHY MUST YOU HURT ME IN THIS WAY?)


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