Monday, May 4, 2015

Out With a Whimper

Review/Recap of Once Upon a Time Episode 4.20 "Mother" - SPOILERS

Dear Once Upon a Time - What. The. Hell. Happened??

Last season I was so excited for the season finale! The back half of Season 3 was so fun and entertaining and the finale had so much promise for goodness. This year, you cashed in all your chips on Frozen and 4B pretty much has sucked all the way through (barring a few light moments). All I have to say going into next week's finale is THANK GOODNESS THIS IS OVER!!

Seriously - this story arc was pretty painful to endure. Sure, it had it's promising moments and its bright spots, but on the whole... it went a whole lotta nowhere.

I suppose it's fitting that the Enchanted Forest flashbacks involved a colossal continuity monkey wrench in bringing Cora back to the storyline. When I heard that Regina's mother was coming back, this is what I predicted she would do: *whine, whine, bitch, "Regina, you're not good enough for anything or anyone, let me run your life" blah, blah, blah.* And I was right, wasn't I? With an added bonus of "I care about your happiness, but not really" - I just... I was done with Cora a loooooong time ago. How many times do we have to repeat this thing with Regina and Cora? WE GET IT ALREADY! THEY HAVE A CRAPPY RELATIONSHIP! YOU HAVE SUFFICIENTLY BEAT THAT DEAD HORSE INTO THE GROUND!

I guess since Neal is dead, they have to pound that other tired old parent-child dynamic into dust too.

(We still have Regina's mother coming back to be a cackly bitch - YET AGAIN - but we can't even get a flashback to Captain Hook's childhood? Learn what his parents were like? Especially since he gave that beautiful pep talk to Emma about trusting parents that want the best for you? Or even give Belle another pre-Rumple flashback. I mean, they've got SO MANY other characters to play around with, why keep coming back to these ones that we are more than finished with??)

(It's just a complaint I have about this show. When they take on new characters and cover new territory, they do really well. But when they keep covering old ground that's been dealt with and done already - I'm just over it).

Back to the grind -

Emma comes back to Storybrooke with Regina and Lily and Zelena in tow. Hook is delightedly rubbing it in Rumple's face that Emma didn't turn dark (oh gee - WHO COULD HAVE PREDICTED THIS? Rumple's half-assed villainous plan falling to pieces?) Emma has a tender reunion with Henry and Killian and summarily ignores her parents (understandable). Maleficent is introduced to her daughter (don't care - they've successfully de-clawed Mal as it is and I've completely lost interest). Regina carts Zelena off to the lock-up loony bin under Storybrooke General Hospital. and then goes off to find the Author.

I do like that the Author is a fan of Regina - so much so that he created officially-unofficial fanfic in which Regina and Robin end up together in the Enchanted Forest (that's what that random illustration was). And he's happy to create her happy ending - except he needs magic ink, which can only be made from the blood of a Dark Savior (rather specific - how did he get it in the Enchanted Forest? How many Dark Saviors were there running around Fairy Tale Land?) Regina (smartly) gets blood from Lily, since she has all of Emma's darkness (which - I still call bullshit on that plot point). But then Regina backs out at the last minute - thereby FINALLY illustrating the lesson that I've been shouting at these characters - that it's not what fate or the Author or anybody else gives you. Your destiny is what you make it!

Really, this whole story arc has been much ado about a fat load of nothing. We had a couple of great episodes with Ursula and Cruella - but they were written out without warning. Maleficent wasn't that interesting. I didn't care about Lily at all. The idea of an Anti-Savior as a foil to Emma is intriguing, but they didn't do anything with that. Just one episode of "Will Emma shoot her childhood friend?" (come on, guys - that's wasn't going to happen) and then this anti-climatic crap which proves that we already knew what would happen.

Next week is a two-part adventure within the "Heroes and Villains" book, so Season 4 is pretty much over. And here is my assessment - Frozen was amazing! I will watch the Frozen story arc all day everyday. Elsa and Anna were a beautiful addition to what OUAT already established. The Snow Queen was a perfect follow-up to the Oz storyline. Snow White's involvement was kept to a minimum, which probably helped things tremendously. and, excepting the pitiful treatment of the fallout of Rumple taking Hook's heart, those 11 episodes were handled quite well.

Queens of Darkness was neither about the Queens, nor darkness. It was unfocused and spotty and had no point to it. Villains like Regina and Hook are pretty well reformed characters. Rumple is a complete asshole and I don't care that his heart is just about dead. Now, if you want to play up the danger of having a Dark One without Rumple's conscience to hold him back... well, you should have done something more than throw that out there at the last minute. It was a complete cop-out and explained nothing. There were good parts, but the whole was lacking (sort of like what happened with Neverland - a lot of build-up, lots of expectation, zero payoff).

You know what this story arc is like? (and apologies for bringing THIS travesty against fiction up) It's like the end of Breaking Dawn (the final Twilight book). There was this great big build up to this GINORMOUS EPIC VAMPIRE (and werewolf) BATTLE. And then... it just didn't happen. Everyone changed their minds and went home. It's pretty much the greatest disappointment in all of the history of storytelling and beyond (if you have anything worse to compare it to, I'd love to hear about it).

Next Week - Rumple becomes Charming, Snow becomes the Evil Queen (and my eyes roll right out of my head), Emma becomes the Dark One (that's my guess), Hook gets that gorgeous black velvet vest back. Okay - I guess it isn't a total wash.

(Ugh - I hope this finally gets the "ZOMG Snow White can be TEH EBIL!" out of their system, 'cause I STILL ain't buyin' what they're sellin'. As far as I'm concerned, she's still Pretty Perfect Princess Lollipop Rainbow Sparklepoo.)

No comments:

Post a Comment