Jared Watches Sailor Moon Crystal: Episode 5 - Makoto, Sailor Jupiter

For this installment, we are joined by our own world-dominating kitty - Plushie Luna!

One day I may show Jared the live-action Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon. The laughs shall be many.

The episode begins with a young woman in a school uniform walking in the rain, wondering when it will end.

Jared: Never! It will never stop raining! The world will drown!

Usagi is walking to school as well, and not paying attention to where she is going.

Luna: Usagi, you've got to be more alert! You don't pay any attention to your surroundings whatsoever!

Jared: Luna's not doing much better right now.

He has high standards for Luna.

Usagi walks out in to the road as a car is coming through. At the last minute, she is tackled out of the way by a stranger.

Jared: So, did she hear Luna talking?

He's also amused by Usagi's bunny umbrella.

The girl tells Usagi to be more careful and walks off. Usagi watches after her.

Usagi: Her perfume... smelled really nice.

Jared: Anything to distract from the near-death experience!

Me: She's in shock.

Jared: Coping mechanisms! WHEEEE!

And the opening titles roll...



Jared: Love Lightning! That's never gonna get old.

It certainly has become something of a tradition...

Jared: Oh hey - that's the goal! We do a magical girl campaign in D&D and one of them is a sorcerer. She casts lightning spells and she has to say "Love Lightning!" every time!

Me: Okay, that can be yours. She can be Akordia the Second.

Jared: Nah, Akordia's the anti-magical girl. She may be the right age, but other than that, she's dark and depressing...

These are the things we discuss during the opening credits.

Jared: Okay, her... I'm not even sure how to say this...

Me: Who?

Jared: Beryl. Her boob cups look like cat heads!

Me: What?

Jared: It's like... little horns! The purple parts!

Now I'm always going to see two Lunas looking at one another. What has been seen, cannot be unseen.

Jared: Oh sure, that'll be a great role model for little girls. A fourteen-year-old gets married to a high schooler.

Me: Better than in the 90s anime, when he was a college student.

The episode opens with Beryl berating her Boys about screwing up the last mission. Nephrite promises he'll do better next time.

Jared: Because you had such a great plan last time.

Nephrite plans to exploit that universal human weakness: Love. I chuckle knowingly. Remind me to say why in... about eight or nine episodes.

Back in the real world, Naru talks about her cousin's upcoming wedding and how she (Naru) had to try the dress on because her cousin was unavailable for the fitting. Now, granted, I don't know how things are in Japan - but usually if a bride can't make her own dress fitting, there is no dress fitting. She reschedules it for another time.

Minor quibble.

Umino comes in for his customary drive-by info dump about a demon ghost bride in a haunted dress shop. But Jared notices something else.

Jared: The shirts on the school uniforms are so unrealistic. They end right at the top of the skirt. If the raise their hands, that thing is going to ride up.

Which is why I could never be a Japanese schoolgirl.

Usagi and her friends daydream about being brides (which is where the splash image comes from), clearly not hearing the part about a "ghost bride". In her excitement, Usagi accidentally bumps into the girl who saved her from being an Usagi-pancake in the crosswalk that morning.

The new girl - who towers over everyone else - has to explain that she's wearing a different uniform because none of this school's sizes fit.

Jared: And it goes with color-theming too!

Me: In the manga, they also get after her for having naturally curly hair because they think it's a perm.

Jared: Sadly, I believe that. I mean, within a few miles of here, we've had people get in trouble for their naturally red hair.

Schools can be stupid sometimes.

Me: But she's so tall, she just towers over the guy and tells him what's what, so he leaves her alone.

Jared: It's not really that curly. It's more wavy.

A couple of boys go by whispering about the new girl and how she's some kind of "Amazon."

Jared: You know, the guys in this school are terrible gossips!

Usagi skips across the schoolyard singing about lunchtime. Jared laughs. It's quite gratifying.

Jared: Of course she has a lunchtime song.

Usagi exclaims at the new girl's lunch bag and matching box and that's enough to want to make friends.

Jared: Heh - her hair buns.

Indeed.

Usagi strikes up a conversation about the new girl's lunch when a loud metallic CLANK echoes across the nearby baseball field. Usagi looks up in time to see a baseball hurtling toward her face.

Usagi: Hah?

A split-second later, the new girl catches the ball one-handed.

Jared: That was just perfect! Just - "Hah?" OBLIVIOUS!

New Girl (throwing the ball back with great force): Be a little more careful next time!

Jared: Darn, missed seeing the impact.

Me: Missed opportunity...

The new girl remembers how the boys were whispering behind her back and calling her names.

New Girl (in a monotone): You shouldn't zone out like that. You could get hurt.

Me: Yeah, not having the girls gossip about her is kind of weird. I mean, guys don't typically care about that stuff, but girls will be BRUTAL with other girls.

Jared: Guys don't gossip like that, really.

Me: Especially not within earshot of the person you're talking about.

Usagi squees over the new girl's lunch and compliments her on her lunch bag and box. The new girl seems to open up more with Usagi because of it. Even though Usagi snitches a few bites of her lunch.

Jared: That is a good way to make friends, at least. Well, maybe not so much the mooching part. The complimentary part, yes.

New Girl: I just found this lunchbox at my old house, so I made a bag to go with it.

Usagi: AMAZING!

Me: She is easily impressed.

Jared: But doesn't she have a parent who cooks?

Me: It's amazing that she's met someone her own age who can cook.

Oh, and here I made the comment that the English voice actress they got for Makoto is my favorite casting choice. I know very little about Amanda Miller's past work or background, but her performance as Makoto is Spot-On-Pitch-Perfect-In-Every-Way. All the voice work in the dub is great, but Mako has an extra level of "special."  And it makes me happy because Makoto is one of my favorites - along with Ami. It's similar to how Ami is my favorite, but in a different way. It's hard to describe exactly. Regardless - it tickles me to no end just how great Miller is as Mako. I hold out a hope that Salt Lake Comic Con can get her to come at some point, just so I can meet her.

And I will probably gush over her the way Usagi gushes over Mako in this scene.

Oh, by the way - the girls finally learn each other's names.

Makoto tells Usagi that she hasn't made many friends because no one will talk to her. It's like they're all scared or something. Usagi laughs.

Usagi: Scared of a pretty girl with earrings and perfume? That's ridiculous!

Jared: She has a point.

Makoto asks if Usagi can show her around town.

Jared: Aren't they in Tokyo?

Me: A district of it, yes.

Jared: Bit big for that.

Me: It's just one local area - she wants her to show her around the neighborhood.

He accepts that answer.

Usagi's first tour stop is - what else - the arcade. Makoto plays the Sailor V game, and says it's just like fighting in real life. Usagi's amazed at Makoto's "Ultimate Attack." In fact, Makoto does awesome, until Motoki comes in and reminds her of "someone else." Also, Ami is there to meet with Usagi. 

Jared doesn't say much here, so that's why I'm just describing what's going on. I assume this means he's engrossed in the story. At least, I hope that's what's going on.

After a while - and giving their new friend a nickname - Usagi, Mako, and Ami go check out the bridal shop that's causing all these rumors - rumors so prevalent, that even Motoki heard about it (you'd think by now the girls would learn that anything that has crazy rumors surrounding it would be a place that they should be concerned with). When they get there, they spend some time looking at the wedding dresses in the window.

Jared: To be fair, this wouldn't be something that junior high kids would necessarily know about [explaining why Motoki told them about the bridal store rumors].

A couple of random women are also looking the bridal shop and talking about the rumors of missing grooms kidnapped by a ghost bride.

Jared: You know, the rumor mill around here is REALLY good! Yet no one believes it until it's too late!

Now it's Rei's turn to meet Mako. Rei almost instantly gets a... vibe... of some sort from Mako.

The conversation, of course, turns to the ghost bride rumors

Ami: Stop worrying Usagi. There's no scientific proof that ghosts are real.

Jared: You've fought monsters before!

Rei: If a weak man allows himself to be seduced, it's his own fault. I think all men are fools. I don't trust them.

Me (heavy on the sarcasm): She's a peach.

Jared: Yeeeeeeaaaaaaah...

It's not that I hate Rei - she's just never been my all-time favorite. And her snotty elitist attitude is a big reason why. I know that fandom thinks she's the greatest thing since the invention of the wheel, but I honestly don't see it.

Jared: Well, she is a shrine maiden. It's not quite a nun. I'm vaguely recalling that shrine maidens are supposed to be "pure" and all that.

Me: I suppose we could look it up. But then, there's a difference between taking vows of chastity and "All Men Are Pigs."

Jared: Well, yes. But one can lead to the other.

Me: This is true.

Back at the bridal shop, a mannequin is coming to life. Quite grotesquely.

Jared: Yes, because ugly contortions is great for seducing random dudes.

Me: She's probably trying to get off her display-post-thing.

The mannequin's eyes glow red and she hypnotizes Motoki, who's just randomly passing by...

Jared: So how is she targeting the fiance's if she's just wandering the streets like that? And who is he engaged to?

Yeah... some of the details of this episode kind of fall apart...

Possessed!Motoki tries to brainwash Makoto, and Mamoru *just happens* to see it going down from across the street.

Jared: No tux this time, huh?

Me: He didn't wear it in the episode with the Demon Bus. He was just in his school uniform then.

Jared: Yeah... it's just that the tux is so unusual. It's like - why ever wear that?

Usagi is having a dream where a mysterious voice is telling her to follow him. It's obvious who this "mystery man" is to everyone but her. Twenty-year old spoilers, you know.

She wakes up to see Tuxedo Mask in her window.

Jared: Aaaaaand... now he's Edward. From Twilight.

Me: Not really. There's a purpose behind this. He's not just staring at her while she's asleep. And he did wake her up.

Jared: Yeah, this time. He didn't last episode.

No pillows fly. This time.

Usagi follows Tuxedo Mask and wonders where he's taking her. Inner monologues are TOTALLY a thing in Crystal.

Jared: You know, on the one hand - he just took her out of her bed in her pajamas. On the other hand, having her change would be more awkward. And take time. Though I wonder if she has her brooch to transform with.

Rei and Ami show up just as Usagi finds the demon-ghost-bride.

Me: I can't decide if what Ami's wearing is pajamas or not. They look comfortable, either way.

Jared: I guess it depends on if those are leggings or pants underneath. If it's leggings, that totally could be pajamas!

I'm going with leggings. I like Ami's comfy style.

The girls do their transformation thing, which means that Usagi did indeed have her brooch.

Jared: I haven't commented on how the pens just float there. If they let go, it'd go *fwoop* [makes falling motion with his hands]

Jared: And they're in a hurry, so the transformation sequence gets done quicker.

Me: There's three of them now, so they have to save time.

Jared: How do they decide who gets boots and who gets... heels... whatever that is.

Me: I have a theory on how this works, but it takes time. So I will wait until the end to explain. Remind me.

Jared: Okay. Yeah - 'cause you've got the over-the-knee boots with Moon and Mercury. And Mars has normal heels.

Me: And you'll see what Jupiter has here in a minute.

Mars attacks with her ofuda/fire move.

Jared: Those were cool pyrotechnics.

Mars's attack misses (her intro episode is over, after all) and the Ghost Bride gloats, while also threatening to kill Mako.

Ghost Bride: No one move, or I kill the girl!

Jared: And of course she gets a black dress.

Nephrite appears and gloats some more. Mako realizes her mistake in trusting Possessed!Motoki. Guilt Trip ensues.

Jared: I was wondering why she'd gotten mind-controlled. They normally seem to be resistant to that. Then again, she didn't get it completely...

Me: She broke out of it.

Jared: And it's her episode too.

Me: Yes. And Ami got brainwashed in her episode for a while.

Mako remembers the day her senpai broke her heart with a really mousy-looking chick. Like, really - you give up the tall and gorgeous Makoto Kino for some random nobody?

It irritates me, okay? Boys are stupid.

Mako (inner despairing monologue): Love isn't real. I don't believe in anything anymore!

Sailor Moon: Don't say that, Mako!

Jared: Wait - now she can read minds?

Me: Inner monologues are loud.

Sailor Moon: I believe that each of us has a soulmate that we're destined to be with. Someday, I'll find my soulmate.

Jared: Well, you kinda already did.

Sailor Moon: There's someone out there for you too, Mako. I know there is!

Jared: Somehow, I imagine that being Guardians doesn't leave a lot of time for finding guys.

Me: That's kind of the tragedy of it.

Nephrite's had it with this lovey-dovey talk and he and the Ghost Bride start attacking the Guardians.

Jared: You all need someone with a shield! SHIELDS! Very useful things.

Mako's done taking everyone's crap. Luna shows up with a green pen for Mako.

Jared: I'm just going to stop asking where she's keeping these things. She must have pockets SOMEWHERE!

Me: Hammerspace.

Mako begins to transform into Sailor Jupiter, without any coaching from Luna. Make of that what you will.

Me: I love her transformation, where she brings her hand back and grabs the pen. It's so cool!

Jared: Oh yeah, the others don't do that.

Screengrabs don't do it justice -



I just freaking love Sailor Jupiter, okay?

Jared: The lightning is pretty cool.

Jared: Okay, so her shoes are halfway inbetween with laces - OH the laces! They're just like on her school uniform!

Me: I never made that connection. That's not my theory, but I like it!

Jared: The rest of it's pretty close.

Sailor Jupiter: I'll fill you with regret, it'll leave you numb!

Jared: Okay, that line didn't work so well.

Me: Translation issues...

Sailor Jupiter: No one can defeat the power of love! Flower Hurricane! 

Jared: I thought her power was lightning?

Me: There's a reason for it. Japan's name for the planet Jupiter is actually forest-related. So, Sailor Jupiter gets flower and plant-themed attacks as well as lightning ones.

Speaking of...

Sailor Jupiter: Jupiter, my Guardian Planet. Bring forth a storm. And bring down your thunder!

Jared: Oh, hey - she does do the whole thing with the antenna.

Sailor Jupiter is a freaking badass. That is all.

Jared: I find it hilarious that the mannequin loses her dress, then her skin, and then finally blows up.

The monster destroyed, Nephrite disappears, and a bunch of guys in formal outfits wake up in the basement of the bridal shop, clutching mannequins in wedding dresses.

Jared: The cops here must be completely useless. All the missing guys were in the store!

Sailor Jupiter realizes that the reason she moves schools wasn't because of the guy who broke her heart. It's because of her mission as a Sailor Guardian.

Sailor Moon: Now we get to have you as one of us!

Jared: One of us! One of us!

Luna chooses now to drop the bomb that Sailor Moon is the leader of the Sailor Guardians, because all four of them have now been gathered.

Jared: But... there's five. Sailor V's out there!

Seriously. Doesn't Luna watch the opening credits?

***
And here we've reached the Sailor Uniform Theory part of the program -

Jared: Okay, so the uniforms are basically the same. I mean, besides the color palette. Sailor Moon's is the standard design. Mercury's is the same, except she doesn't have the sleeves. Mars has heels instead of boots. And... I guess the same as Jupiter, except she has different boots?

Here is my theory that I've had for quite some time. First, a visual aid will be useful -

Click to embiggen

My theory is that all of the Guardians' designs have something that in common with Sailor Moon's final design -

Mercury: Blue skirt and collar
Mars: Red back bow, red glove cuffs, red choker
Jupiter: Green and pink are secondary colors based off of blue and red (blue -> green, red -> pink). The placement of Jupiter's secondary colors in her uniform (minus the color of her shoes) correlate to the placement of Moon's primary colors.
Venus: Blonde hair and blue eyes - physical characteristics she shares with Sailor Moon.

Sure, it's a long shot, but I like it. And I've held onto it for several years. And SM fandom can suck it. That is also an opinion I've held onto for several years.
***

***
Next Time: Episode 6: Tuxedo Mask

Previously: Episode 4: Masquerade Dance Party

One With the Wind and Sky

Review/Recap of Sailor Moon Crystal, Act 5: Makoto - Sailor Jupiter - SPOILERS

You know how sometimes you see something that’s just perfect for the frame of mind you’re in? We Mormons commonly use the term “tender mercies” to describe such things - it’s a moment where you feel like God (or whatever higher power you subscribe to - it doesn't matter) is sending you a message of hope and comfort in something that has meaning only to you because He knows you better than anyone and He knows what is going to help you the best. But I think it goes even beyond simple comfort from a higher power. It’s also a teaching moment - you feel like your mind and soul have been enriched in a way you hadn't thought of before. I don’t know how it is for other people (and the experience can be so intense that you really don’t have the words to describe it), but to me it almost feels like I can physically feel my mind expand. It’s like an itch that’s been there for years but you never realized it was there until something poked at it. And now that that part of your mind being stimulated, it feels really really good.

That’s kind of how I felt about Makoto's episode. It’s similar to Rei’s episode in that I have a new dimension of looking at this character. The difference is, where I was never that excited about Rei (though I still liked her well enough), I’ve always loved Makoto. I love the balance in her personality of a physically strong and mentally tough tomboy with the girlier aspects of her character. This analysis has been well and truly documented by fandom - it’s what people know about her right off the bat. She’s the badass fighter chick who also loves to bake cupcakes and create floral designs. Though her fighter-chick side gets noticed more often by her peers - mostly because it’s an unusual trait for a girl to have and it’s more often remarked upon, whether in a positive or negative light (and I will let the legions of Perpetually Angry Social Justice Fun Police continue to rail about that - I have never made it my priority to do such things myself).

Not sure where to put this, but I have to remark SOMEHOW
on Umino's Drive-By Info Bomb and the increasingly
humorous ways Crystal continues to portray this character.

This is the source of Mako’s loneliness - that people only see half of who she is. She is reduced to a walking stereotype because people (for whatever reason - not necessarily intentional) only see her at a surface level. She’s taller than the other girls, therefore she is strong and she can handle anything. This is even more exacerbated by the fact that Juban Public Middle School doesn’t stock uniforms in her size and she has to wear the uniform from her old school and that makes this trait of hers stand out all the more (such is the plight of the tall girl. Oh, the times I came home from the mall in tears because I could never find clothes that fit me properly! To this day, I HATE clothes shopping. All you short, petite, little things - at least you have JCPenney looking out for you. That’s really why we tall girls poke fun at you. We’re jealous).

The Tall Girls' Lament

This is what I suspect Mako-chan feels: Maybe someday someone will notice that I’m better at things other than fighting. Maybe someday someone will see my cute bento box and my carefully prepared lunches. Maybe someday someone will see the time and effort I take in looking after myself. Maybe someday I won’t be the superhuman freak show that they all come to gawk at.

And this, of course, is where Usagi Tsukino comes in (why do I have the hardest time typing out her surname?) Call it fate or destiny or whatever (it’s magical girl anime - destiny and fate are this genre’s bread and butter) - but Usagi pops up and sees Makoto’s lunch and how good and cute it looks (Usagi loves things that are aesthetically pleasing as well as tummy-pleasing. So, this is a two-fer for her).

Usagi’s enthusiasm for Makoto’s creation kind of takes her by surprise. And I suspect that Makoto would love to have someone to share her lunch with and here is a girl almost ready-made to be Makoto’s friend. Usagi is even willing to show Makoto around town, since she’s new and doesn’t know where all the good markets are. And the arcade. Can’t forget the arcade.

In fact, the next stop is indeed Crown Arcade. Where Makoto is treated to pre-Senshi initiation (it seems that’s what’s going on) - playing the Sailor V game. And doing quite well, Ami is quick to notice. For a moment, I thought that Ami was going to regard Makoto with suspicion, but all she notices is how good Makoto is at the game (not unlike Ami’s first go-round with it). And then, Ami gives the greatest understatement in the history of understatements - (screencap of Ami saying Usagi is good at making friends).

Don’t think I’m finding fault with this at all! Ami is admiring Usagi’s skill at friendship - something that Ami has never been able to do so easily (it’s a skill even in the real world. Like - how do people just do that? They just always have people that click around them? It has to be a superpower). Also, maybe it’s just because I’ve always loved the friendship that develops between Ami and Makoto, but I feel like Crystal went out of its way to subtly create that initial connection between Ami and Mako. Whether or not it was there or even intended, I noticed it and I was glad to see that happening. I always felt like Mako was Ami’s link to the rest of the loud, boisterous, vivacious Sailor Senshi. Don’t misunderstand - all these girls are true and fast friends and they would do anything for each other. But I feel like Ami sometimes gets overwhelmed by the others’ energy and ambition (especially Usagi’s and - when she gets here - Minako’s). And Makoto brings this quiet strength to the group that can sustain Ami in those moments that Usagi, Rei, and Minako are nearly bouncing off the ceiling, while also fueling the other girls’ excitement and enthusiasm. This is what makes this group of characters work so well together - they each have a piece of the puzzle that makes this dynamic just work. That’s a huge strength in this story. Destiny knew what it was doing in this instance.

Oh, and Usagi ceremoniously gives Makoto her nickname of “Mako-chan.” Which fits her perfectly and Mako probably didn't know it did until Usagi said it. Such is the power of our Moon Princess (oops - spoilers. Well... it’s not like you didn't know it was coming. Thank you end credit sequence. And name of the show. And Usagi being Sailor Moon. I will be back to revisit this - if this story goes the way I think it’s going to go. There is one Sailor Moon plot point that I always have a gripe with that I have no idea why no one else doesn't comment on it. Too busy finding fault with the fairy tale aspects of the show, I suppose).

The visual cues for this episode were so good -
this fade between Makoto and Rei was fantastic.
And it wasn't the only one.

By this point, nearly everyone has met and given their approval of Mako - even Rei senses something about Makoto. It’s hard to say whether Crystal!Rei trusts Makoto at this stage of the story or not - they don’t spend too much time on that. Just that she knows Something Is Up with this girl. And that’s about all they need to spend on that. Because this is Mako-chan’s story. And she has a wonderfully heartbreaking story to tell.

ULTIMATE HEARTBREAK (yet another staple of magical girl anime)

Something that I’ve always appreciated and loved about Sailor Moon is the amount of time that the story spends establishing the characters’ backstories (which was one of my biggest complaints about the live-action Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon - there was nearly nothing of backstory in that at all. I kept waiting for it happen, and it never did. Highly disappointing. Anyway...) Whether it’s the Big Time HUGE Reveal of the Fall of the Silver Millennium or simply what these characters have gone through before becoming Sailor Guardians, these stories are handled lovingly and beautifully. Of all the versions (before Crystal), the manga is my favorite because each of the main characters gets at least one chapter dedicated to her backstory (and as more arcs are added, more backstory gets added as well). I love how the writing and the artwork depicts all this information, so when they said Crystal would follow the manga more faithfully, I wondered how this would translate. And I think, with Makoto’s backstory, they've done a fantastic job. Makoto’s backstory - how she came to be at Juban Middle School - is rather specific. A boy broke her heart, she was in a fight, she got kicked out of her old school. And while I’m being very simplistic about it here, Crystal is not. We see a flashback of Mako meeting the boy she likes and the boy telling her “Oh, I have a girlfriend. Sorry.” We see her heartbreak and how much that hurts. And it doesn’t matter that it was what most people call a “silly schoolgirl crush,” she’s hurting about it. She hurts so much that she had to leave her old school to get away from him.

This dovetails nicely with the Dark Kingdom’s Monster of the Week’s threat - they’re taking over mannequins from a bridal shop which kidnap grooms and steal their energy (here again is the Dark Kingdom’s absolute cluelessness at work - the grooms rarely do a damn thing with the wedding planning. It’s the bride and her mother that usually do all the work and at always stressed out about the whole event. Why not kidnap them? But I digress). Brides across town are missing their fiance’s, which is troublesome for the wedding planning business I’m sure. Oh, and their emotional well-being. I suppose that’s important too.

(Look, as much as I am a fan of love stories and romance and relationships in fiction, I hate weddings with the burning Fire Soul of a thousand Sailor Marses. I have no desire to plan one for myself or subject myself and those around me to such torture. I don’t want a dress, I don’t want decorations, I don’t want fancy pictures, I don’t want announcements, and I only nominally want a cake. If it wasn’t for the gifts-from-total-strangers potential (which, you have to stand in a boring receiving line for hours in uncomfortable shoes order to meet these strangers and get those gifts), I would probably consider eloping to be a perfectly reasonable option.This is why I’m still single).

Pretty for dreamy scenes in magical girl anime. Not so much in real life.

Back to the story - at the arcade, Mako meets Motoki, whom Usagi has had a crush on since Time Immemorial. Mako sees the appeal, of course, citing that he looks just like the guy who broke her heart (one way they add lightness to Mako’s Utter Heartbreak is that every guy she meets reminds her of the guy who broke her heart. There’s a deeper emotional reason for it that (hopefully) gets explored later, but mostly, it’s played for laughs). And somehow, Motoki gets kidnapped by this “ghost bride” mannequin (even though he isn’t a groom but, details) and is used to attempt another kidnapping against Mako because she’s a girl in love and love creates useful energy (look, I've gotta go back and rewatch that bit. I was too enthralled with Mako-chan being amazing and beautiful and precious to me. I don’t have time to quibble about the villains’ half-assed plans all the time). So, the Dark Kingdom uses Mako’s crush on Motoki to attack and threaten her - which is a big-time mistake. Because while Mako is a believer in love and hopes for that for herself one day, she’s also a badass-fighter-chick and she’ll lay the smackdown on anyone that toys with her affections.

And in this turmoil of the heart, Sailor Jupiter is revealed.

Wait - before I get there... speaking of love stories, there’s an important scene between Usagi and Tuxedo Mask (one that I’m sure the “Everything is Rape Culture” doomsayers will have a conniption over in their continued attempt to ruin everyone’s fun) - Usagi is dreaming about running after something or someone. We don’t see what this is (but I can hazard a guess - I’m going to write it in an envelope and see if I’m right later. And if I am, that’s quite the twist, there Crystal. Bravo), but suddenly she’s woken up by someone at her window - which turns out to be Tuxedo Mask

I can hear the anti-Twilighters screaming bloody murder right now.

Usagi's response? "F*** that s***! My dreamboat need me!"

He needs her help - there’s a monster threat out there and the Sailor Guardians need to come take care of it. Now, I’m going to have to go back and find out where identities were revealed in the manga, but I swear Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask found out about each other at the same time there. But in Crystal, Tux clearly knows that Usagi is Sailor Moon and knows to go get her and there’s no time to quibble about the “proper” way to go about doing so. And Usagi, being the hopeless romantic that she is, runs off with this mystery guy that she’s completely in love with but knows next to nothing about (other than he saves her life and she danced with him and they kissed while she was asleep - yeah, I don’t think for a second that she doesn’t know that happened or that she isn’t giddy beyond reason at having that romantic fairy tale moment).

And because it’s important, she wonders again about Tuxedo Mask - until she realizes that he’s led to her the site of this showdown between the monster bride thing and Mako-chan. And also that Ami and Rei have joined her (thanks to Luna’s quick thinking and a forgotten communicator because - who’s got time for accessorizing when The Love of Your Life is asking you to come with him in the middle of the night?) The girls transform and Tuxedo Mask disappears from view - for a little while.

I love how the girls came out in the PJs (except for Rei, because you know, Rei)

In the middle of Mako’s lament about romance and love and how she’s not sure what she believes anymore - Sailor Moon gives an inspirational speech that, were it a TED Talk, could easily be titled “Miracle Romance: I Believe In It” (complete with poignant cut to Tuxedo Mask waiting around the corner right when Sailor Moon mentions that someday she’s going to meet the person she’s destined to be in love with. It certainly gave me the warm fuzzies because I am here for that! Bread and butter of the genre, I’m telling you).

That’s when Sailor Jupiter goes “Hell Hath No Fury” on everyone - but in a way that only Sailor Jupiter can. Between Flower Hurricane and “Let the Storm Rage On,” (which, I see what you did there subtitle translators!) - it was magical. (I have a gif for it... hang on).

Source: here

The cold never bothered me anyway (sorry, I had to)

The lightning rod in the tiara lives! (that was important to me)

And Jupiter handily dispatches Bridezilla and Nephrite (who admits to recognizing the "I'm Gong To Royally Eff YouSailor Jupiter - probably from some Silver Millennium battle. Or possibly from a romantic encounter from back then. Depending on which fandom newsletter you subscribe to. Me, I could go either way - I really don't have a dog in this fandom war. For once) disappears before he can be subjected to manga!Nephrite’s ultimate fate (these Shitennou don’t survive encounters with the Sailor Guardians in the manga as easily as they do in Crystal).

Hm... I wonder...

Luna muses on the mysterious Tuxedo Mask and why he brought Usagi to the battle - does Luna still regard him with suspicion or has he been moved from "Possible Enemy - Avoid At All Costs!" to "Eh - He Might Not Be So Bad..."? (this is Luna we're talking about - she's got enough suspicion for all the cats in the universe. That's probably why cats in general are so laid-back. They know that there's someone out there doing all the worrying for them).

And... we have four Sailor Guardians. Which means Luna’s ready to hand out the next Shiny Object in the Guardians’ Quest for the Princess. It’s the Moon Stick, which looks much more crystal-y than it did in the original anime (as with most of what’s in Crystal, I like it!)

And the plot can only thicken from here on out. Until next time...

*happy fangirl hand-flapping*

Considering the last time we didn't get any new footage from the next episode for the “Next Time...” preview we got “Masquerade” two weeks later, I’m kind of excited about this. And not just because Act 6 is Tuxedo Mask’s episode. Still... like I've said before, childhood crushes never go away. They just get prettier.

This is why I'm still single...