Tuesday, June 24, 2014

The Lannisters Send Their Regards

Review/Recap of 24: Live Another Day, Episode 9: 7:00 pm-8:00 pm - SPOILERS!

Before I get started, I have to chuckle about Hulu's tagline for this on this main page:

"Jack and Chloe scheme and shocking events occur."

Way to avoid preview spoilers, boys! (to be fair, that was better than somebody who texted me last night after he'd watch the episode, but I have to wait until it comes up on Hulu the next day. sigh... Anyway...)

I was a bit annoyed that President Heller - after all his heroic sacrificing stuff last week - didn't even merit a character snapshot during the "Previously on 24" segment. After all the tears and hugging and dragging me through this angst - he doesn't even get any kind of send-off? I mean, who's in charge now? Stephen Fry?  But I was impressed by Cersei Stark's handling of the situation - sticking to what she said she'd do and destroying the drones and all that. I guess there is honor amongst thieves (terrorists... whatever...) Though, doesn't her wish that her dead husband be alive to see her take revenge for his death sound a little strange?

Wait ... why does not-Joffrey think there's something wrong with the feed from Wembley? And how the heck would Heller still be alive? I mean, are they just going to go apeshit because of a blip in the super-grainy and zoomed-in drone camera and how is Jack going to stop...


Heller's alive??


I... don't know how to feel about this. On the one hand - WHAT??? On the other - oh good, he's not really dead.

Wow. As twists go - well-played, guys. Well-played.

This changes things, obviously. Because all of a sudden - Jack Bauer is in charge! And giving orders! And having them followed! And Chloe is actually working with the CIA! And the President's alive!! AND JACK FREAKING BAUER IS IN CHARGE!


(something this momentous deserves two happy dancing gifs)

Adrian Cross of Open Cell conveniently happens to have a super-duper-screw-with-everybody's-GPS thingy in order to find not-King's-Landing (in other news, several relationships ended that night because dates could not be picked up on time). Kate Morgan, Badass, ESQ, shows up with her CIA buddies - and takes out the electricity to not-King's-Landing with a freaking grenade! (some poor dear on the third floor loses picture on Britain's Got Talent, but we all must make sacrifices). All so we could have a glorious shootout - complete with Jack popping a cap in some mook from above.

Inside not-King's-Landing, Cersei Stark and her son (heretofore known as not-Robb) lock onto the coordinates that will make the most damage because Mama Cersei is pissed. Not-Robb loses his nerve, but Cersei assures him that she loves him no matter what, even when she's holding him there at gunpoint (remember what happened last time Cersei Stark said she loved one of her children?) One way or another, not-Robb doesn't have much longer on this mortal coil. Which means I have to get my guyliner joke in now. Because, dude, there is only one guy on TV right now who can get away with those kinds of shenanigans. And it ain't you.

(sorry - got distracted by the pretty there for a few minutes. Where was I...? Oh right - Jack Bauer was about to go all Jack Bauer on not-King's-Landing).

Instead of going in through the normal way, Jack climbs outside the building and tries to go through the window. Not-Robb opens the window for him. And stupidly leans out so Jack can yank him out the window.

Yes folks. The son of a character played by Michelle Fairley fell out of a window to his death (well, to be fair, the first time the kid was saved by a wolf-dream-thing. Spoilers for Game of Thrones, there).

I call this "The Things I Do For Love."
(Maybe I should have really called him not-Bran).
(I swear to all that is good and holy, if I am the only person on the Internet making this joke right now, online fandom has failed royally).

And, just to make things nice and parallel (I guess), Jack one-ups Jaime Lannister and chucks Cersei Stark out the window not two minutes later. Because Jack FREAKING Bauer, that's why.

"The Lannisters Send Their Regards"
And that's only the first half of the episode, people!

"The fangirl you are trying to reach is currently having her mind-blown"
So... how are we going to fill out the rest of the episode?

Well, Heller gets back to the embassy - reconnects with Audrey and the gang (but mostly Audrey). PM Stephen Fry thanks Heller for his sacrifice, to which Heller replies that he's sure the Prime Minister would have done the same if the situation were reversed (to which Stephen Fry gives the most hilarious look - like "Yeah... no. Crazy American President...") Jack gets a bunch of equipment secured and over to the CIA... the same CIA headed up by Steve Navarro... the same Steve Navarro that is working with Adrian Cross with his Super-Duper-GPS-Plot-Convenience-Thingy and penchant for selling state secrets and blaming it on Kate "Badass" Morgan's hubby.

Well - there's how we're going to fill three-and-a-half more episodes.

Jack takes some time to talk with Audrey over the phone (how does he have her number programmed in his phone already, I wonder? Don't care - he's got her number and they're going to talk again!!!) while he pow-wows with Navarro and the CIA about the terrorists drone-hijacking equipment. Which Adrian Cross has a great deal of interest in.

Oh - I forgot to mention - the police found Nerd Herd (RIP) and Kate and Erik immediately go to where his body was found... along with a mysterious unidentified dead dude that Kate immediately sets to finding out who he is. With Jack's help (from an old contact that I almost hoped was Tony Almeida, but I can't have everything in my life). Turns out that Mysterious Unidentified Dude was a CIA undercover operative that was once under Steve Navarro's command. The same Steve Navarro who has knocked out the CIA techie working on Cersei Stark's terrorist equipment and stolen said equipment for Adrian Cross. The same Adrian Cross who is now on the run with Chloe O'Brian. The same Chloe O'Brian who Jack wanted to come in and look at that same terrorist equipment at the CIA, but she declined, saying she'd help Jack enough, even though it had been nice to see him that day.

Do you see where this is going? Good, because I sure don't.

Nina Myers would be proud. If she weren't dead, that is.

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