Monday, June 9, 2014

Top Gear Meets Top Gun

Review/Recap of 24: Live Another Day, Episode 7: 5:00 pm-6:00 pm - SPOILERS!

This is what happens when Jack Bauer has adequate support from The Powers That Be. Crap actually gets done! (and people die, but details...)

Last time, Simone got a close-up look at the front end of a big red bus right after she killed her sister-in-law and chased her niece across ten blocks of traffic. Chloe's mad hacker skills ferreted out Simone's location and put Jack on the trail. Kate Morgan took a beating from some mooks, but she's still saddling-up to ride shotgun with Jack (Girl-Crush Points times-Infinity-plus-Two). Even Prime Minister Stephen Fry gets a dressing-down from President Heller and decides that he wants to play nice with the Americans that are going to save his country's ass in the eleventh hour. Jack has all the support he needs and he's going in for the Big Damn Hero moment.

Except... some poor ambulance dude unwittingly told Cersei Stark where her daughter was headed and Mama Not-Stark decides that their family album sure could use some more death and mayhem in its pages. She tells her newest Thing 1 to send the nearest drone straight for the hospital where Simone is being treated.

Meanwhile, the CIA Nerd Herd is hot on the trail of Navarro's shitstorm. Undeterred, even by the most awkward of stupid excuses to throw him off the scent, Navarro eventually sends Nerd Herd deliberately into harm's way - on the advice of one Adrian Cross, lately Chloe's boy-toy and leader of Open Cell.

(Everyone who didn't already see that Adrian was Bad News, please raise your hand. Now cluck like a chicken. In Portuguese. While wearing a hot pink leopard print tea cozy on your head. Now you look as stupid as you really are).

Back at the hospital, Kate Morgan uses her superpower of Being Awesome and talks to Simone niece, Yasmin. Yasmin is heartbreakingly adorable and brave and she tells Kate everything she knows, which helps Kate and Jack determine that Simone can be persuaded to go against her mother and save thousands of people. Jack goes in to talk to a nearly-comatose Simone, but she doesn't want to betray her mother (because her mother's been such an upstanding example of motherhood - you know, cutting off her fingers, murdering her husband, sending her to kill off her sister-in-law and niece...)

Elsewhere in the hospital, Cersei Stark's other newest Thing 2 has commandeered a set of scrubs (well, if fake doctors in fake white lab coats work for a fake White House photo op, then surely fake scrubs can get past government security guarding a person of interest in a terrorist plot) and is set on killing Simone. But Jack and Kate are having none of it and the guy is spotted and taken out in due course - but not without Jack finding a text from Cersei Stark saying the hospital has 8 minutes before it gets divebombed by drones. People In Charge are alerted and they evacuate as many people as possible - include Yasmin and Simone (and for a second, I thought Kate was going to totally buy it by going back for Yasmin. But Yasmin is safe - they dumped her off with some Important People and she'll be okay. Because I say so).

And here... well, for this next part, you need to play this video:

It's Car vs. Drone in an Epic Showdown Through London! Tickets are going fast - in fact, Jack just crashed through the ticket office and the drone blew the whole thing up... so I guess that's the end of that and never mind...

(Now that Jack's outwitted a drone, I'd really like to see what he does on Top Gear.)

(PS - Mark Boudreau is still an ass, but he's an ass that's going to get popped by the Russians for forging the president's signature and not coughing up Jack Bauer. Strangely, I'm okay with this).

But it seems to be all for nothing because Simone is thisclose to totally buying it. And the President calls Jack for a last-minute pow-wow. Because the President... well, his Big Time Secret about his early-stage Alzheimers has been found out by PM Fry and there's that whole deadline to stop the terrorist chick from blowing up a major city thing and Heller thinks he ought to retire anyway... so let's call up Cersei Stark and have a chat, shall we?

It goes about as well as you would expect. And just when I was getting back to liking James Heller again...

I think we need something to lighten the mood.

(But Nerd Herd LIVES!! So we at least have that).

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