24 Takes Manhattan

I must admit, I enjoyed the "New York Gets Jacked" tagline. Kudos to the creativity department.

Okay, it's a new season of "24," which means the return of the "24" Rehash. Obligatory spoiler warning and here we go!

***SPOILER ALERT***SPOILERS BEGIN HERE***ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!***

Just by way of intro, I was watching this with a roomful of family ranging from age 6 to nearly-50. Some of the jokes I gleaned from them

As the cast credits roll, we see the usual Kiefer Sutherland and Mary Lynn Rajskub joined by the heretofore unknowns... but then all seriousness goes out the window when Freddie Prinze Jr. flashes across the screen and we all (metaphorically) fall on the floor laughing. I'm sorry, but when you associate "FPJ" with girls you went to middle school putting his "BOP!" pictures all over their lockers and drooling over him in the most unashamedly fangirly ways, he's hard to put in as director of field ops for CTU. Will Freddie hold a candle to the wonderful and hardcore Carlos Bernard? Eh... we'll see. But right now, I'm praying for a contract renegotiation.

Also, along the lines of casting - Brian Hastings is Bubba from "Forrest Gump." I guess we can blame the discontent among the ranks as "Stupid" not doing so well for himself.

Jack as "Grandpa?" I think I heard a great "AWWWWWWW..." echo across the country at that one. Little Teri is pretty smart. If Jack does die at the end of this season, they could always introduce "24 Babies" - little Teri takes out terrorists and Prescott O'Brien runs tactical.

I don't think Jack is going to cut it as a personal security guy in LA. He may be many things, but there is only one Matt Parkman. This makes me think that Jack is going to bite it at the end of this season.

Throwing Rotten Fruit Line of the Week - "Who's Jack Bauer?" Duuuuude - where have you BEEN the past nine years???

I should have some line about Chloe beating the crap out of her computer - but that scene speaks for itself. But I figured out why she's having so many problems - they run on Macs in New York. Heck, they scrapped Macs in LA's CTU back in season 1.

(Commercial Blather: It strikes me how much Michelle Obama looks like Sherry Palmer. Just an innocent observation...)

I'm starting to think Chloe's feeling like an XP in a room full of Windows 7.

Dana and Freddie (I will never remember what his character's name is - he's just going to be Freddie) smells like a re-manufacture of Tony/Michelle. The original will ALWAYS be better (didn't we already try this with disastrous results?

Craptastic bandage job on Victor, Jack. What, little Teri didn't leave you with enough Disney Princess Band-aids?

"24" is the only show on TV where New York's Finest are a bunch of chumps that just get in the way (or in the worst case scenario - are actually the bad guys).

On the bright side - Freddie's a Jack Bauer fanboy!

First, we have the hacksaw, now a fireman's axe. What's next? A sharpened popsicle stick in the eyeball?

No blonde bimbos for this president (that one came from my dad). But there are waaay too many blonde bimbos running around here... And "interview in the hotel room??" Come on, president's wife-lady - you know that's a bunch of crap.

(More Commercial Break Blather - What if Jack had a dog? And what if the dog had a bullet-proof vest? It'd have to have a hoodie to go with it. My sister was teasing our weenie dog during the commercials and that conversation came up)

Sooo... if this new space-age, Star Trek-looking CTU is so much faster at catching bad guys, why didn't they change the name of the show to "12?" (They're so fast, they already have the naked body scanners!)

Little Teri - "That's me, that's Mommy, that's Daddy, that's you... and that's the president getting assassinated!!"

Yay to Kim for saving the season!! (but boo to the sappy separation piano music. Another tick in the column for evidence that Jack is finally going to buy it in hour 23)

(Even More Commercial Break Blather - Because McDonald's is the place for geeky guys to pick up hot women. Honestly...)

C'mon, Chloe, you know how this works - you come up with a perfectly plausible explanation and even have evidence to back it up - of course no one is going to listen to you! But the White House's response to Jack's advice has been upgraded to "Hellz, no!!" to "I'll think about it." After nine years of Jack being right all the time, something had to sink in.

On Jack being found in the armory by Bubba and Freddie - d'you honestly think Jack's going to be taken out by a BOP! centerfold and a guy that made ol' Forrest look like a PhD? Shoot, Jack even has the hot shoulder bag! And a Malibu! (love to the 'bu!!)

And finish out with some preview blather - Of course Jack's got a gun! What do you think he'd have? A slingshot?

Renee's lookin' like Michelle!! And it doesn't look forced!! *smiles* ^_^ \/