Hacksaw? What's a Hacksaw?

Part two of the "24" season premiere - and we get to the good stuff fast. Spoilers, yes. Explosions, even more yes.

***SPOILER WARNING. NO, SERIOUSLY - I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING***

Oh. Em. Gee. Buzz saw to the wrist! Renee's gone completely PSYCHO!! Even Jack hasn't managed that one (yet). Good grief, everyone on this show has gone nuts. Which is why we're relying on boy-band rejects to save the president. (as a side note, this is the first time in a while that the two-night season premiere hasn't ended in a bomb going off. Now, there were explosions, but not at the very end.

In hindsight, since Jack was the one who thought little Renee wasn't up to the job, I guess we should have believed him.

David Akers (aka Takezo Kensei aka Adam Monroe aka Dirty White Man) joins the cast as yet another player who just wants to be one of the "cool kids" that make it to "24."

I ... guess I'm glad Freddie survived the explosion. I'd hate to see Dana completely at the mercy of White Trash Willie. The pencil-neck horn dog certainly isn't going to be any help. Who else was wondering why she didn't tell the CTU guard that she didn't know the psycho? (Good grief, we have one-half of Bubba Gump and "Jenny" running CTU. Is there still time for Jack to catch that plane to LA?).

(On a side note: I remembered one movie Freddie is in - Scooby-Doo. And he was kind of a dork in that one too. For a Jack Bauer fanboy, he certainly doesn't know how Jack operates. But yay for him crashing the car and asking questions later. I suppose I can throw him a bone this time.)

With Bubba interrogating Meredith juxtaposed with the plans on "her" computer, I had to wonder - do they seriously think this woman is smart enough to mastermind a terrorist plot? She was dumb enough to have an affair with a foreign head of state and dumb enough to get caught.

Oh, and don't get me started on their craptastic technology and lack of manpower (their joining forces with the police department while one of said "Boys in Blue" is getting whupped by a guy handcuffed to a chair doesn't instill a lot of confidence. Even if the guy handcuffed to a chair was Jack Bauer). This isn't CTU - it's a flying circus. Sheesh, the "brothas from 'da hood" were of more help to Jack than the paid government folk.

Johnny's Offering to the Rehash: "CTU's not very high tech. They don't even have elevator music."

FTW Line of the Week: Jack "An old informant knocked on my door and it went downhill from there." Dude, that's the freakin' story of your life!

Oh - and Renee. I ask you - she spent a couple of years undercover with the Russian mob, but one day with Jack sends her into a nervous breakdown? But in hearing about her newfound badass-ness, I was expecting a Tony buzzcut (well, I guess we got a Michelle updo. I'll take it)

Another "Honestly" - who didn't suspect Farhoud? The man hasn't cut his hair since Woodstock (neither has Omar, but at least he has a semi-respectable Elvis flip).

Did anyone else notice that the top Secret Service guy looks like Wayne Palmer?

And yay for the rookie cop! While the stereotypical redneck-looking tough guy 15-years-on-the-force roughs up Jack, the newbie recognizes the hero of the show when he sees him (at least one new guy has some sense - Omar really needs to be thanking him! Then Jack, then Freddie... then maybe Chloe.

Chuck Norris Moment: CTU had more than an hour to stop an assassination attempt. Jack stopped it in 5 seconds.

Plot Moving Moment: It certainly won't be long until they realize Farhoud was involved. Just make sure they see you kill a CTU guy on your way out of the motorcade. Nope, not long at all.

And next week's preview - Just that Renee's gone crazy. And we're all dead. Jack - get on the damn plane already!!