Saturday, January 9, 2010

Weekend Thoughts on Winter, School and Sports

It's Saturday out at the ranch. And I have a few scattered thoughts on some things that, by themselves would not make a good LJ post. But together, I can make up a list. Hearkening back to my days as editor-in-chief of The Snowdrift, I resurrect "Liner Notes."

I Can See Polar Bears From My House: Arctic wind has taken over much of the continental United States. This has created a condition that most of us call "January." Florida and much of the deep South is seeing record low temperatures. A little closer to home, the stockyard is basically a giant ice block. Snow that fell off the roof and onto the front porch in December is now a pile of ice that defies any attempt at dumping salt or Ice Melt on it. The polar ice caps' distant cousin has taken up residence in my front yard and will probably be there until April.

So, I ask global warming nuts - those who can only brave the arctic cold in mid-July when the Earth's axis tilt has those cute polar bears staring down the sun. Those that videotape these cuddly creatures floating on their summer ice boats and say the bears pitifully floating out to oblivion (when in reality the polar bears are just out fishing and can't figure out if what the bearded hippie is pointing at it is a camera or a gun). Those that demand that the rest of us sacrifice our lifestyle by turning off lights and using flashlights (oh wait, the batteries are bad for the environment - and we certainly can't light any fires, either). I ask all you who have not bathed since Woodstock - if this Arctic wind has settled over the northern hemisphere, does this mean that this global warming (that is melting the ice caps and drowning polar bears) is officially over? This cold kinda puts a damper on all your big plans for taking down capitalism (India and China are saying "Can we get back to business now?)

I Am Proud of Who I Am... I Am - a Librarian!! I got my syllabus for two of my classes this semester! And wait until you hear what one of my assignments will be. The professor has given us all a list of movies to watch and write a paper on one, answering questions that she will provide. And guess what two of the movies are - The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. I have them both on DVD and seen both many times. (In an odd twist of fate, "The Mummy Returns" was on Starz last night). I have gone from having to read obscure literary fiction that only pasty college professors read in their dark holes to doing homework that embraces popular culture. It's a breath of fresh air!

Playoffs? Playoffs??? Don't Talk About Playoffs!! It wouldn't be Wild Card Weekend if I didn't have something to say about football. I refuse to cheer for the New York Jets. Not that I have any big beef with them and not that I have any great love for the Cincinnati Bengals. Just that they would not be in the playoffs at all if the Colts and the Bengals hadn't sat their starters the last two weeks of the season. By rights, they shouldn't even be here.

And the Bengals just lost. That's what happens when you take your foot off the gas when you have everything wrapped up. Let this be a lesson to you ding-dongs.

Actually, maybe I should be cheering for the J! E! T! S! Jets! Jets! Jets! to go all the way. Maybe that would finally illustrate the stupidity of throwing games at the end of the season when you have the top seed/home-field advantage/division title wrapped up. But the dumb thing is that nobody of prominence would point that little detail out. ...sigh...

Prediction of Doom: Speaking of the playoffs, it seems like all the teams I've been pulling for this year folded the last few weeks of the season (with the possible exception of the Vikings, but it was the Giants, so meh...) I've always hated the Dallas Cowboys and I've only recently gained a dislike of the Jets. But they're both suddenly hot and it would be my rotten luck that we would have a Jets-Cowboys Super Bowl. And the Cowboys would win. What can I say? I'm being a pessimist this year.

No comments:

Post a Comment