Running Away From Your Problems

Review/Recap of Once Upon A Time Episode 6.14 "Page 23" - SPOILERS!

Isn't it nice when a show FINALLY voices what you've known about a character FOR FOUR SEASONS???

Welcome to Once Upon A Time - where the audience knows more than the people actually writing the damn show.

Sigh... anyway.

Last week when I saw the promo for this episode, I figured this was going to be yet another cheap installment of "Regina vs Her Own Darkness" and bemoaning how she never gets a happy ending and she's an evil villain and can't ever be redeemed... blah, blah, blah....

If you've been following this show for any length of time, you know the drill by now.

I really didn't expect the Evil Queen storyline to be taken care of, though. I thought they'd just put off the problem to be solved another day (or never, the way these people are practically married to the old hag). So, I will register my complete and utter surprise that the Writers Room actually said - YES! Regina is OFFICIALLY redeemed and is No Longer A Villain! (at least, not in the traditional way).

Thanks for putting your stamp on something that's been official in the minds of your audience for a good four YEARS, guys.

I did like the twist that Regina needed to love herself to finally achieve happiness. That's a theme that's severely lacking, not just in popular culture, but in the world at large. Seeing as my job is to cover news and politics (and I'll try not to get too political here - I reserve that for other forums), I see this nearly every day. People are upset because Politician A said this, or Politician B did that, or Political Event X didn't go the way they wanted, so now they have to throw a hissy fit and act like immature children and annoy people with their bullshit. And it's not even the big political stuff - the internet is fueled by outrage culture on every side of the political spectrum. You HAVE to be pissed off at someone else's mistakes and you never, ever, ever, EVER try to look at it from their perspective. Heaven forbid you stop and think about the times that you did something stupid and, but for the grace of God, your misstep didn't become public fodder for some clickbait tabloid covered with janky internet advertisements.

Nope. Everyone has to be upset about EVERYTHING. Too much looking outward for outside causes to their problems, while never considering that their discontent with their own lives might actually be more internal. And lest you think I'm pointing fingers, I am very well aware of these failings in myself. I hate to admit it, but there are moments where I feel like I'm the worst human being on the planet and I will never achieve my glorious happy ending (or happy continuation, as I like to think of it) because I'm just not good enough at... whatever I'm trying to be good at.

In fact - going back to a moment in this episode, the one where Evil!Regina modified Cupid's arrow to find the person she hated the most and she ended up looking in a mirror - I've wondered sometimes if that's really why I hate looking in mirrors. Not because I find them creepy or disconcerting, but because I don't want to look at myself any more than I have to.

Okay... that went somewhere I wasn't expecting it to go. But I guess that's a sign of a really good story - it makes you look at yourself and helps you learn and grow in ways that aren't immediately obvious. Maybe help you find out things that very few people think about. Sure, it's easy to measure success in terms of career or family or hobbies. But even those successes don't ring true forever (goodness knows I've been blessed with good things in my life, but I don't always feel like I am) and you have to find your self-worth from within, not from how amazing other people think you are.

That's kind of why I think the whole self-esteem movement is full of BS. That was all about telling people they're special snowflakes and to ignore all the negativity and haters and critics. Nobody ever internalized it, so when they did run into problems, they - well - they ignored the criticism and refused to learn from the experience and just complained about it. By contrast, self-worth comes from a place of accepting your flaws and weaknesses and making them work for you, instead of sitting down and whining that life isn't fair because you had a bad day or something. That's why there are people who have encountered horrible things like debilitating illness, cancer, terrible accidents, sudden deaths of loved ones - but they still remain happy and positive and grateful for the things they do have.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that your happiness is dependent on your outlook on life. That's something that I'm working on learning and balancing with all the other things that I do.

For all the things I complain about with this show, that's honestly why I come back to it. For gems like this one. Keep in mind - the only reason Regina hated Snow was because Snow told a secret when she was a child and it led to the death of someone Regina cared about. Horrible, yes. But an innocent mistake that Snow White never thought would have the consequences that it did. Not when she was so young, anyway. The villain in that situation is - and always will be - Cora. And she's been dealt with already. So, no need to continue beating that dead horse. Literally.

(I may or may not be calling Cora a "horse." I've called her worse, so shush.)

And then... there's Captain Swan...

...sigh... what am I going to DO with you two?

Okay - I can understand why Killian is conflicted about the situation he's in. I really can. He's the type of person who would feel guilty about his past bad actions. He would feel like he needs to pay for his mistakes. Eye for an eye, and all that.

But the fact that he does feel bad and that he feels like he is unworthy of Emma and the accompanying happiness that a life with her would bring him is precisely why he is worthy and deserving of such! He accepts

When Emma found out about Killian's role in her grandfather's death (a grandfather that she never knew, by the way), I actually thought her attitude about it was going to make things okay - reminding Killian that Snow and Charming would forgive him and they knew that he was a changed man and that wasn't the kind of person he was anymore. But THEN - she has to go "If you can't trust my family, then we can't be together."

Really, Emma? REALLY????

So, Killian seeks out Captain Nemo and the Nautilus (I forgot that they were still in town, honestly) and resolves to leave Storybrooke with the crew of the submarine "To go out and find himself" so he can prove he's worthy of Emma and her family. Because running away from your problems is the PERFECT way to fix your life.

WHAT ARE YOU TWO CHUCKLEHEADS DOING???? You have gone to hell and back for each other - quite literally! If you two STILL don't know that you are the best things that happen to one another, there is NOTHING that is going to convince you that you both are deserving of being happy!

GOOD GRIEF I AM SO DONE.

The good news is that Snow (unknowingly) intervenes with her typical bubbly "I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO!" personality and that reminds Killian that he's being an ass (and so is Emma, in her own way) and it's time for him to patch things up with Emma and proceed with this engagement as originally planned.

The only mistake from here on out is Killian saying goodbye to Nemo and company on board the Nautilus - but that's only because Gideon is a piece of cow excrement and he took over the Nautilus operating systems in order to send Killian away from Storybrooke and Emma (apparently, True Love is what's going to save Emma from Gideon and the Black Fairy. GEE, WHO WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT COMING??)

Which, I'm all... once the sub is far enough away, couldn't Nemo and crew just take control back and zip back to Storybrooke? I'm sure there's some loophole that's going to be abused in the next episode. Because - DAMMIT, this SUCKS!

Next time -



If I don't see Gideon's head on a pike at some point, I'm going to be royally pissed.

Lay Off The Rum

Review/Recap of Once Upon a Time Episode 6.11 "Tougher Than The Rest" - SPOILERS!

Ah - the ending of yet another hiatus. Let's go -

The first thing to note about this mid-season/spring premiere thingie is how unassuming it was. Granted, that probably has more to do with the fact that they aren't starting up a brand new story arc in the middle of a regular season scheduled. The entirety of Season 6 is one big long story, which I think was sorely needed to inject some life back into this show. Let characters grow and develop in the storyline you've given them. Don't just hop around collecting live action Disney characters like you've only got an hour at Disneyland and you have to get EVERYBODY'S autograph for some inexplicable reason.

(You do that, you end up with Emma Watson staring blankly at you from her glorified cosplay on a movie poster.)

Like I've said before, the OUAT writers have improved their storytelling and their pacing. And I hope that this continues.

Special praise (and I almost can't believe I'm saying this) goes to Regina. For - at the proverbial eleventh hour - actually LISTENING to someone (in this case, Emma) who says "Screw fate and destiny - what do you want in your life?" And, wonder of wonders, Regina takes Emma's advice. And she is amply rewarded for the risk that she took in bringing wish!Robin Hood back to Storybrooke with her.

Sure, Outlaw Queen is basically going to have to start from square one, but they've laid the foundation for their relationship to come back into the forefront and I couldn't be more pleased. Especially since the Evil Queen is still prowling around and Regina's been constantly wrongfooted because of that. I can't help but think that Robin Hood being around again will help solidify her confidence in herself again.

Next Topic: Kylo Ren... I mean, Gideon. He is soooooo not the big villain that Emma has to fight in the end. The kid is a glorified boy band reject. He's trying to come off as a badass, but he's so pathetic about it that the rest of us are just laughing at him. I know that Adam and Eddy are big Star Wars fanboys and I seriously can't help but wonder if this is their way of paying homage to The Force Awakens.

I mean, Emma basically sneezes at the kid and he runs off pouting like a little punk.

To make the metaphor go even further - that would mean that Grandma Black Fairy is the REAL badass villain of this piece, not unlike Kylo Ren's grandfather, Darth Vader (I'm discounting the whole Emperor puppeteer in the background - we have time for only so many parallels). Grandma sends the snot-nosed kid to act all tough and pose for the camera, when in reality she's just biding her time before she can swoop in and take over Storybrooke.

I dunno - it made sense in my head.

Speaking of family matters - Rumple might be thinking about not being such a rat bastard anymore? Possibly? I don't anticipate that he'll change all that much (though if the Kylo Ren thing goes through to its natural conclusion, Gideon might come to a point where he actually is okay with offing Daddy Fearest... let me play around with that one a while longer). I'm not saying that Rumple is ready to be all White Knight Charming Fairy Tale Hero - but I feel like there are small sparks of goodness trying to break through his crap. Even when Belle is in despair over their son and she looks like she's toying with the idea of flirting with evil darkness - Rumple seems to be the one pulling her back.

It's a subtle moment at the wishing well - but I caught onto it. I'm certainly not getting my hopes up for a Rumple redemption, but I'm open to the possibility.

Okay, enough heavy stuff -  Old Captain Hook. He is in a grand total of ONE scene, but does he EVER steal the damn thing. I mean, it wasn't even completely necessary for him to make an appearance in the Enchanted Wish Realm - his absence could have just been dismissed as "He's a scoundrel and a pirate - what would he have to do with the Royal Charmings?" But they make the effort to bring him in for a spot of comic relief.



I may be biased, but it was the best scene in the episode.

Another scene I quite liked was the flashback scene (the only actual flashback we got - not complaining!) of young Emma meeting young August and they talk about The Ugly Duckling. Not only that, but that actually serves as part of Emma's origin story (and he we thought we knew all there was to know) - namely how she got her last name. Dozens of fanfic authors have assumed that "Swan" came from that first family who adopted her, but gave her back when she was three. But nope - like everything of value that Emma has, it's something she claimed for herself. Maybe it wasn't something that was extremely vital to the plot, but it was a sweet detail and one very much in line with her character.

All in all, this was a nice ease-back-into the story and helped remind us where everything's been and get the audience back up to speed. Next time, it looks like there are Shenanigans Afoot (complete with Captain Charming antics! Though... probably not in the lighthearted and friendly manner we're accustomed to seeing from these two) -



"Unlikely pair." Oh please... ABC promo department - have you been WATCHING the same show as the rest of us?

I Like That Loophole. That Is A Nice Loophole.

Review/Recap of Once Upon a Time Episode 6.10 "Wish You Were Here" - SPOILERS!

I could get used to these somewhat-low-key mid-season finales. Even though there was a big twist about Emma being sent to a reality where she was never the Savior and, in years past, they would have made an even bigger deal out of it.

It was fun to have a side-step with a Princess Emma where she was a ineffectual singing princess who didn't know how to do jack squat. I don't think I could have taken more than an episode's worth of it, so thank goodness Regina was there to provide the snark.

Neal/Baelfire was Prince Henry's dad in alternate!Enchanted Forest... ehhhhhhh.... sure. I suppose there had to be some kind of explanation, since Henry was vital to the whole "Make Emma Remember Who She Is" plot (they couldn't call in a Mufasa-cloud-epiphany thing?) But it all felt super-contrived, just to make Henry fit in where he was supposed to be.

Okay - so Regina decides that she's going to "steal" the Genie's Lamp from the Evil Queen... even though it's basically like stealing from herself (props for that lovely little loophole, guys. I was genuinely impressed by that).

David facing-off against the Evil Queen... it's a really good thing Hook's around to keep Charming from doing All-Time-Stupid-Things, because I think this whole Ladyhawke curse that Charming and Snow are dealing with is starting to make David (at least) kinda punchy.

In the background, Rumple and Belle are freaking out because the Blue Fairy falls down on the job (...sigh...) and baby Gideon is now the property of the Black Fairy. Lovely.

And Robin Hood's back! And... he's robbing women out in the open beach area because... the forests are too crowded? I have no idea - it doesn't make sense the longer I think about it. But he borks Emma and Regina's escape plan, so we're back to square one.

(I wouldn't complain if alternate!Hook showed up to help in the next episode. But you all know where my priorities lie with this show.)

On the whole, this was a "meh" episode. It kind of felt like an episode meant to connect the two halves of the season, without making it like there are two halves of the season. I'm actually okay with that - not everything was wrapped up in a neat little bow and there's still time to deal with things in March. And it still feels like one giant overarching story. Now, if the season finale next spring is as open-ended as this episode, I'll be mad. But right now, this is good.

Speaking of March -



A diamond ring, huh? Oh, come on OUAT - I know a misdirection when I see one.

It's All Over But The Crying

Review/Recap of Once Upon a Time Episode 5.19  "Sisters" - SPOILERS!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought of the Fallout 4 soundtrack when Hades played "I Don't Want To Set The World on Fire" on his little date with Zelena. Then again, Underbrooke would probably fit in nicely with a nuclear post-apocalyptic setting. I get the feeling Hades would enjoy that, honestly.



Where oh where to begin with this episode? For one thing, I'm glad that the Once writers room got their social justice pandering bullshit out of their systems last week and got back to good storytelling with interesting characters and plot-points, rather than trying to appease the Twitter and Tumblr trolls that have done their damnedest to make fandom life as hellish as possible (no pun intended - that was an accident). Storytelling works MUCH better when you're not trying to push some overt virtue-signaling message - that "Hey, we're TOTES NOT homophobic, so don't get mad at us, pretty please???" (You're fooling no one, guys.)

For another - wow. A Cora-centric episode that I actually enjoyed! If next week's episode doesn't involve Underbrooke getting slammed with a monster blizzard, there is something INCREDIBLY wrong with the world (maybe Elsa will make a cameo appearance in the mission to defeat Hades and freeze his living room).

I said since the beginning of the Underworld storyline that I would LOVE to have Zelena and Cora meet and their meeting did NOT disappoint. I was a bit worried that they would unnecessarily compromise one or both of those characters' fundamental qualities in order to get some half-assed, shoehorned-in happy ending that doesn't make a damn bit of sense - but no. They didn't. Not at all. They played with Zelena's tragic backstory and Cora's ruthlessness - coupled with the idea that people in the Underworld have unfinished business, as well as Hades shoving Cora back into her role as a poor miller's daughter (that was the key touch to this, I think) - and came to a satisfying conclusion.

Applause, OUAT Writers' Room. Mucho Applause.

Even the flashback stuff worked in this case. Sometimes, it can feel forced and stupid. And on paper, this episode's flashback probably would have sounded absolutely idiotic. But the way it was presented - I can TOTALLY buy that tiny!Regina would poke around her mother's magical objects and there would be an accident. And I can TOTALLY buy that Cora would go find tiny!Zelena to make Regina better. Even the whole "Surprise Sister!" discovery thing was done surprisingly well.

Everything worked. None of the characters' backgrounds were sacrificed to make things work - Cora actually seemed like she had a genuine change of heart. I think her initial trickery made a good contrast for when she came clean and actually leveled with Zelena about abandoning her in the woods. Regina's redemption storyline also provided something context to what was going on - that if the Evil Queen could become good again, maybe there's hope for the Wicked Witch (though I still love Zelena's brand of sassiness and attitude - I hope that will continue because I would hate for her to lose that core part of her character).

I'm not quite sure how I feel about "Let's Help The Lord of Death Have a Change of Heart" thing yet. Maybe because it's still early in that plot twist - but this episode made me want to hang with it a bit longer until I have more details (hey - getting rid of Princess Rainbow Sparklepoo actually DID contribute something to moving the plot along! WHOO-HOO!) But I feel like progress was made.

Well, until this little shithead showed up (and his dad) -

Why, when everything seems to be going okay, does Rumple feel the need to show up and muck it all up? Whyyyyyyyyy?

Ugh... whatever.

Oh - and David met his evil twin brother and had an epic fistfight at the docks. Cruella sneered at everybody and buggered off like the weasel she's probably wearing as a scarf. Robin is most likely a dead man walking because of his paternal affection for his Wicked Hood Baby.

NEXT TIME! Oh... oh...crap...



Um... how about no? How about I just stay here and enjoy the Mills women having their tearful happy ending and pretend that Hook and Emma just make it home and move into their new house and get married and have lots of little pirate babies? NO MORE ANGST, PLEASE?

That "Perfect" Girl is Gone

Review/Recap of Once Upon a Time, 4.05 "Breaking Glass" - Spoilers!

I don't know if anyone's noticed (no one's said anything - granted, nobody ever says anything about my reviews - but that's neither here nor there. I do this for myself), but all of the titles of these Once Upon a Time posts for Season 4 are all taken from lyrics from the Frozen soundtrack. It was a little bit of a challenge I set for myself - to see if I could find a title from any Frozen song that fit in with the episode, regardless of how much of a stretch it was. So far, they've all fit in pretty well (though I'm thinking I may wish that I saved my title for "White Out" for later. Eh, whatever).  This episode is no exception, but I am allowing myself a tiny tweak. Not to the words, but in how they're presented. And I will tell you why.

In the movie Frozen, Elsa grows up thinking that she had to hide her powers from everyone. Her parents ingrain her with "Conceal, don't feel. Don't let it show." This mantra becomes part of her to the point that she is incapacitated with fear whenever her powers start to manifest themselves. She sees her powers as a flaw - something to be eradicated. Or at the very least, hidden away. Hiding her powers is an achievement and something to strive for until she can do it entirely. Or, perfectly, if you like. Until on the day of her coronation, her loses control of her powers and everybody sees what she can do. And all her striving for perfection is gone. Elsa will never be perfect in hiding her powers because now everyone knows about them. Thus, we get the anthem of "Let It Go" - or, somewhat more accurately - "Everybody already knows that I'm a screw-up, so to hell it with! I'm going to show off everything I can do!"

So, when I hear the lyric "that perfect girl is gone" - I hear the sentiment of a person who was told that one way is best, but she can't achieve that because it's an impossible goal. Elsa's done trying to hide and trying to keep up the illusion of "perfection" - the illusion that she is the ideal ruler for Arendelle, that she has no magic and that she isn't a danger to anyone else. Because perfection, honestly, is killing her. It's killing who she really is and it's killing her chance at a happy life.

However, throughout the movie, we see that happiness is not found in perfection. It's found in being honest and real with yourself and the people you love. It's found in living your life and trying your best, knowing and accepting that you will fail and not everything is going to go your way. But it's also found in the fun moments - in the silly moments. Like turning the city square into a skating rink in the middle of July (or whenever that was) and letting everyone ice skate the way Elsa and Anna did when they were kids.

So, yeah, that perfect girl is gone. Because what Elsa ends up becoming is so much better than being this artificial version of "perfect."

That's great for Frozen and all - but what does that have to do with Once Upon a Time? Quite a bit, actually (continuing on this theme of "It would have been a crime against humanity NOT to incorporate Frozen into OUAT Season 4!")

She Now Joins the Plotline, Already in Progress

Regina Mills hasn't had a whole lot to do this season, admittedly. Then again, she's kind of been on... well, I don't want to say that she's been on a pout, per se. But holing herself up in her vault on the pretense of trying to find a way to cure Maid Marian doesn't lead to a lot of time and room for character development (okay, yeah, she probably really is trying to find a cure, but watching her dig through spellbooks and dusty potion cabinets does not make for compelling television). But in this episode, it was good to see her finally get a chance to stop with this reenactment of "Wizard Angst" and join the search for Snow Queen Prime.

On her way, she runs into Emma who is still trying to make amends for the whole Maid Marian thing. And Regina is totally justified in her anger - even if she's a little... over the top, shall we say, in expressing it. This situation is not easy at all. You feel bad for Regina for losing the love of her life in such a weird way. But you also can't fault Emma for her actions either. And it's easy to be mad at Regina for lashing out the way she does. But we do have to give her credit (as Emma does) that Regina is trying to save Marian. So, there's that. But Regina is certainly not interested in being friends with Emma.



I'm not really sure what I think of Regina lately. One of the things I loved about Season 3B is seeing how far Regina has come from being the Evil Queen that inspires fear in everyone she meets. A huge part of that was finding love with Robin Hood and how he seemed to be one of the few people who didn't hold Regina's past against her. Even back in Season 2 and the first half of Season 3, the people that knew Regina best still held onto those old hatreds - even when she was clearly trying to be better and earn their forgiveness. But Robin didn't - for whatever reasons he had (that we haven't had a chance to explore, but I hope we get there soon). Even with Marian back and her (understandable) fear of the Evil Queen - Robin still trusts and loves Regina, even though his code of honor forbids him from being with her.

I can understand Regina lashing out against Emma, even if I don't like it. Regina once told Rumplestiltskin that the only thing she has is her anger. It protects her and fuels her powers. And though we did see that love fueled her ability to use light magic at the end of Season 3 - well, now she believes she doesn't have love. So, she goes back to her anger. And we saw it in this episode - she is mired even more deeply in her dark magic because that's what she's comfortable with. Which means she belittles and threatens Emma. Emma's an easy target for Regina's anger. Even moreso since Emma is trying to reach out and be Regina's friend - that's when you're the most vulnerable and susceptible to being hurt. Regina sees that as Emma's weakness and she exploits it - leaving Emma to go back to the sheriff's station with regret and guilt and hurt weighing deeply on her mind, not just about Regina, but about things that happened to her in the past.

But yeah - Regina's storyline and her character development is complicated. I like how the story's being told, even if I don't really like Regina's actions right now. And not just because she's hurting my favorite precious duckling princess Emma - but also because it's kind of uncomfortable for me to watch. There are elements of Regina's story that ring embarrassingly true for me (and I'm certain other people have this as well) - where you've been hurt by someone you once considered a friend or at least an ally and you convince yourself that they never truly had your best interests. That they were always going to betray you in time and you have to wall yourself off against that ever happening again. Even when you think of going back and trying to patch things up - you're still afraid that it might happen again and you want to avoid that as much as possible. Even if it means you also close yourself off from true happiness.

Just some food for thought.

Seen It Before

I don't know about the rest of you, but I've been pleading for more Emma Swan backstory and in this episode, we finally got some (I really hope this is something that becomes a regular thing because I really enjoyed Abby Ross as young Emma). Emma's thieving ways started early - more or less out of necessity (and people wonder why she ends up with the pirate. Come on, people! This is a foregone conclusion!). She meets a girl named Lily who says she too is a runaway orphan and they team up to be lonely, thieving runaways together (so Neal didn't teach Emma everything about being a thief. Good to know). Together, they break into this super-fancy summer house (this being autumn in Minnesota, so all the rich vacationers are gone) and they basically enjoy their life on the run and become besties. It's damn adorable.

Except... it turns out that Lily is not an orphan as she led Emma to believe. Lily actually has a family who's looking for her - in fact, her dad is the one who's come to find her. And the absolute hurt in young Emma's face and voice - look, we know that Emma spent her entire life wishing she had a family. It was always in the forefront of her mind. She would give anything to have what Lily has - and Lily is the one running away from it. Try as Emma might, she can't forgive someone who would give up something (that she thinks is) so wonderful and great. Add the lying on top of it - yeah, teenage Emma is somewhat justified in turning away from Lily.

(to be fair - we don't know the kind of home life Lily has. But the fact that her father was out looking for her does give a huge indication that she is loved and cared for. Which is more than Emma's ever had).

One With the Wind and Sky

Back in the world of present day Storybrooke, Elsa thinks she sees Anna in the mists in the graveyard (yeah, yeah, ABC we get it - it's Halloween, you needed some spooktacular thing to put in your promotional stuff this week. Even though Once Upon a Time is a pretty Halloween-ish show to begin with. But whatever), so she takes off after ghost!Anna. And we know who's waiting on the other end of this mini-quest. It's a pretty straightforward trope - but anything to see Elsa make that ice bridge. Because that will never not be cool)

Snow Queen Prime shows up to be one of the smoothest villains that Once has ever had. No offense to the wonderful Rebecca Mader's delightfully evil Wicked Witch (who I adored last season), but I am seriously enjoying Elizabeth Mitchell's Snow Queen. She's evil in a vastly different way than Zelena - where Zelena was tough and brash in her confidence that she has everything under control and she's not above gloating at very victory, the Snow Queen is (appropriately) cooler and more subdued in her approach. We still don't have the foggiest idea what she's up to (I've really got to stop with these weather puns) and Snow Queen Prime isn't about to tell us. But we want her to tell us. We want to know what she's up to. And with the addition of this mirror... well, you really oughta go read Hans Christian Andersen's original tale The Snow Queen and you'll probably have a good idea of what's going to happen (and seeing as what the focus has been in the previous episodes, I'm suddenly very fearful for a certain dashing rapscallion/scoundrel...)

I needed another "Let It Go" gif in here. For reasons.

Date Night with the Charmings

Last week, Captain Swan got their big splashy date night and it was, appropriately, beautiful and feelsy and wonderful and made me all kinds of happy (and I'm just going to pretend that thing with Rumple didn't happen. Until I have to remember it for story reasons, that is. And I will probably start swearing again). This week, the B-plot was Snow and Charming taking a much-deserved break from sheriffing and mayoring and babying to have a nice night out together. Snow is, understandably, hesitant to leave baby Baelfire (I refuse to call him that other name), though even new parents deserve and need some time off. So, leaving the baby with Belle (FINALLY! She gets something to do!), they head out for a nighttime stroll. Except Will Scarlet has escaped from the sheriff's station. But that's okay - because Snowing (Snow + Charming) spent their honeymoon going after a gorgon (...yeah... that happened), so date night can certainly be chasing after an escaped convict (whose crime was drunkenly breaking into the library. Hey, I can understand. If I drank, I would probably do the same thing. Maybe).

Using her Mad Tracking Skillz (is that even a meme anymore?) Snow finds Will out on the beach reenacting Holes. And lovely Princess Mayor Rainbow Lollipop deduces that her charming hubby planned this whole thing in order to help Snow feel like a badass again - let the vicious criminal loose so she could have the opportunity to track and apprehend Storybrooke's newest village idiot (Grumpy was unavailable for comment).

Well - it was cute and all, but Snow really needs to have more faith in her own abilities (and the jail cell at the station needs some new locks. Put that in along the security system replacement budget. Betamax... I ask you...)

Rekindling a Beautiful... Tolerance

Back to Regina and Emma in the woods - they have some tracking of their own to do in trying to find Elsa and Snow Queen Prime (not hard when Elsa leaves an ice bridge to follow - wait a second...)

I will not tire of these

And Regina realizes that Sidney has betrayed her (to be fair, she did trap him in a mirror again), so she and Emma have to work together to beat the Snow Queen (and I'm sad that Marshmallow didn't make a repeat appearance. Then again, would I really want something of Elsa's being used for evil?) After they beat the Snow Queen and Elsa's freed from her prison, Queenie decides that she's got what she came for and she beats it the hell out of there.

(oh, PS - Regina's back to using dark magic again. *le sigh* And she'd come so far, too)

With this season being all about Emma, I think it's fantastic that she's trying to mend fences with Regina here. And not just mend what was already broken, but to reinforce it - by admitting to Regina that she hoped that the two of them could be friends. I mean, the Frozen Swan friendship is wonderful. But (sadly) it's only going to last through this half-season (as much as I plead on Tumblr that the Frozen characters could stay because they're all awesome). And even though Emma has her family and a guy that she cares about - she also needs a friend. And it would be nice if that friend understood something of having magical powers. Regina and Emma's friendship was kind of starting to develop last season when Regina was teaching Emma to use her powers - though at that point it was a mentor-student relationship and only born out of necessity. But wouldn't it be neat if they started to kind of like each other on a more informal basis?

Well - one can dream.

Other Things I Liked/Noticed

- I laughed mightily when Charming listed Asgard as one of the improbably places that he and Snow could end up on their walk. One, because there's nothing saying Once couldn't incorporate Norse mythology into their story at some point (or that Disney-owned Marvel couldn't let Thor into the place). Two, because Josh Dallas played Fandral in the first Thor and that was just a hilarious moment. So, thank you for that.

- Hook wasn't in this episode much, but that's okay. Once is an ensemble show and each storyline needs the time it deserves, so everyone has to take turns (as much as I would totally watch the hell out of the Emma and Hook show). But what we did get of Hook was awesome. Especially since Emma is opening up to him more - that he's interested in her past and her childhood memories and she's willing to share that with him. The entire ending scene in the sheriff's station -

If they keep giving me reason to use this, by damn, I'm going to keep using it!

- Elsa's new purple cloak thingy! Back when they were filming these early episodes, Georgina Haig either tweeted or mentioned in an interview that the flowy Elsa cape kept getting stuck on tree branches during scenes in the forest and they'd have to stop filming and get her untangled. So, I wonder if the new cloak was an innovation out of the necessity of her having to be out in the woods. Or if it was just her showing off her ice-wardrobe-making abilities and trying out new colors. Either way - I liked it!

- A tiny nitpick - but the young Emma flashbacks were supposed to have taken place in 1998. Lily mentions something about her strange birthmark making her feel special like Harry Potter. Except... Harry Potter really wasn't that big of a thing in 1998. It was around, certainly (Philosopher's Stone was published in the UK in 1997, Sorcerer's Stone in the US in 1998). But it wasn't quite the cultural touchstone it is now. It wasn't until Prisoner of Azkaban was published that it really started getting momentum and being this huge phenomenon. It's a tiny thing, but where I spent much of my high school and college years being totally obsessed with Harry Potter - well... don't argue with me on this.

- Snow Queen Prime's Fortress of Solitude was really cool looking. Scary as hell, but cool (sorry - no getting around that pun)

- Will Scarlet's fitting in nicely. Emma even shared her Pop Tart with him.

- Snow Queen Prime was one of Emma's foster parents back in the day! Can I just say - CALLED IT!!!

You need a villain gif to celebrate a villain theory.

- Who was taking pictures of Regina and Robin Hood kissing? Not to mention Neal and Emma? I mean... is the Person of Interest Machine sending out souvenir selfies as a side job? What is the deal??

In Conclusion

Regina's out of her vault (yay!) But she's still not exactly buddied-up to Emma. Or anyone, really (well, that's par for the course, isn't it?) Emma's pretty much let all her walls down and she's opened up to other people (still not over the kissing and the hand holding!) This episode was kind of like a "bridge" between all the high-powered emotional set-up in this stretch of the story and the (presumably) high-stakes plotline full of death and consequences (okay, there better NOT be any death because given who the candidates would be for Whose Demise Will Kill the Fandom the Most - I don't like my chances). And I have to say - it's nice to be able to go to bed without that adrenaline rush of "OMG THIS SHOW YOU GUYS!!!!!1!!11" keeping me awake.

But if this was the short rest before All Hell Breaks Loose... what does that mean for the rest of the season?

Next Time



Oh, Rumple. You hated it.

The First Reasonable Plan Since This All Began - Review of "Once Upon A Time: The Jolly Roger"

This post contains SPOILERS for Once Upon a Time Season 3, Episode 17, "The Jolly Roger." Read at your own risk!

Oh sweet mother of angels, pirates, and mermaids - Once Upon a Time, THIS is what you could be!

Last summer, I discovered ABC's show about fairy tale characters living in modern times and trying to get back home. That was when I'd initially finished watching Season 1 on DVD, which I quite enjoyed. I've since watched Season 2 and been keeping up with Season 3... and I'll be honest - it's kind of gotten dull. Most everything that can be done with the main characters has already been done and it was starting to feel like the writers had run out of ideas. Even the prospect of including characters from stories like The Little Mermaid and Rapunzel fell flat on their faces (well, the Rapunzel storyline more than The Little Mermaid - I mean, that princess in the tower could have been anyone. There was no point to all that hair). Honestly, the Charmings are bland, Henry's annoying, and that stupid love triangle between Emma, Neal, and Hook was just... ugh! The only characters I really like anymore are Regina, Rumple, and Captain Hook (and yes, I realize that all three of these characters are... not exactly "villains" - more of anti-heroes. But damn if they aren't compelling to watch!)

I often ask myself why I am still watching this show.  Even on weeks that I am most certainly NOT going to watch, I find myself catching up on Hulu. I guess I see how good this show could be and how much it is just not living up to its potential - instead of finding new ways to tell these stories, they just shoehorn the characters they've overused into these incredibly boring tropes.

However, last night's episode "The Jolly Roger" had me standing up and cheering again. Because THIS is what OUAT could and ought to be!  I even want to call out the writer - David H. Goodman - by name and publicly applaud him for this idea. Not to mention the actors - particularly Colin O'Donoghue and Joanna Garcia Swisher for stellar performances. Even Rebecca Mader - whose Wicked Witch of the West I haven't really been that enthralled with to this point - put in one of the most convincing villain moments at the end.

So - what made this episode different from all the others? For starters, the focus isn't on the Charmings. At all. Snow White isn't in the flashbacks trying to appeal to Hook's better nature and Charming isn't there doing... whatever the crap he does. In fact, the Charmings get to take Henry (who hasn't had a convincing thing to do since Season 1) off to run over mailboxes in David's truck and that's the extent of their involvement (I will say that this second half of Season 3 has benefited greatly from Henry not remembering anything about Storybrooke. He's just happy in the corner playing Xbox or whatever and I am happy for him to stay there. I'm counting down the days until they can send that boy to college and we won't have to look at him on a regular basis. He contributes nothing to the plot anymore). Regina and Emma go off to get Emma to figure out how to use her powers, which - IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!! How long has Emma known about her magic and she hasn't used it? Hell, if I had the choice between summoning fire to roast someone's ass or shooting them with a gun - I'd choose fire. Now that Neal's dead (oops - spoilers) it seems that Emma is going to be put to better use than sitting around debating her conflicting loyalties and pining for her baby daddy (sorry - I just kept waiting for Neal to do something interesting and it never happened. Other than him dying to resurrect Rumplestiltskin. In terms of Characters Who Actually Do Something, I say we viewers got the better end of that trade-off).

Thus, we are left with Captain Hook. Who also has been improved since Neal's death, in that his bid for Emma can be taken more seriously. Beyond that, though, Hook is faced with a choice. He remembers the past year that's been lost, but he's not telling anyone about it. This episode goes into why - at least in part. Hook's crew wants to go off and search for their ship The Jolly Roger so they can get back to their old pirating ways. Hook - well, Hook's had a taste of being one of the good guys and he's not sure that he wants to go back to being a scoundrel. Even before Season 3.2 starts - we have a flashback of him in a pub in the Enchanted Forest paying off a barmaid that his men gifted to him as part of a post-robbery celebration. Hook is not the dastardly pirate that he tries to pass himself off as - but neither is he this squeaky-clean hero-type.

Enter Ariel - who hasn't found Prince Eric since everyone was sent back to the Enchanted Forest. And since Hook has a reputation for being a good guy as well as a sea-faring pirate, Ariel thinks that he can help her find her prince, who also has a penchant for sailing the sea. Hook agrees, especially since there is strong evidence that Eric was captured by the same people who have his ship.

Back in Storybrooke, Ariel shows up again with the same problem. She can't find Eric - but Hook, Snow, and Belle (who is finally used to her utmost potential in this episode) come to her aid. Hook is a little reluctant to help, but he agrees since he is the one who knows the most of what happened during the "Missing Year." Snow eventually leaves the main action to be Henry's "not-grandma," leaving Hook and Ariel to look through Mr. Gold's shop for clues as to the whereabouts of Prince Eric.

I've got to talk about Belle here for a bit. Even though she doesn't have a whole lot of screentime, what she does have is used beautifully. In recent episodes, she's had to deal with Rumple's kidnapping and imprisonment by the Wicked Witch, but instead of moping and pining about it, she's going through all the things in Gold's Pawn Shop (which Rumple/Mr. Gold left to her when he thought he was going to die - long story) and organizing things, cataloging them, running the shop the best that she can. She provides the ray of hope that Snow White usually does, though to greater effect, since that's kind of becomes Snow's one and only character trait lately. But Belle's sense of hope is more pronounced because she has gone through so much and is still going through a lot. There is one line that sums her optimism out the best - when she agrees to let Ariel look through the shop for anything belonging to Prince Eric, Belle says "Maybe good news will be contagious." It was a small moment, but it was so indicative of the situation that all of Storybrooke is dealing with and we didn't need to gather the whole town in a room to look at each other with suspicion until Regina yells about... whatever.  It helps that Belle and Ariel have already established a solid friendship with each other (in the only episode from Season 3.1 that didn't have me throwing things) and I want to see more of that - not necessarily from these two characters, but I would like to see more relationships between these types of "secondary" characters.

Hook finds a cloak belonging to Prince Eric in Gold's shop - he recognizes it because Ariel had it in the Enchanted Forest when he met her before. Belle casts a tracking spell on the cloak which will enable the cloak to find Eric. The cloak flies off and Hook and Ariel take off after it. After a while, the cloak lands in the water in the Storybrooke harbor and disappears into the sea. They both take it to mean that Eric was lost at sea and Ariel looks devastated - but at the same time, she says that it's better that she knows where Eric is, rather than looking and never finding him.

Before I get to the climax of the story, I've got to end the Enchanted Forest storyline - the storyline that nobody but Hook can remember (and the one that he's not telling, but it's evident that he's not about to talk about it). He and Ariel find The Jolly Roger and Hook faces down Blackbeard, who's taken over the ship. They fight and Hook wins. He's about to kill Blackbeard when Ariel stops Hook because Blackbeard knows where Prince Eric is and if Blackbeard dies, Ariel will never find Eric. Hook ignores her and makes Blackbeard walk the plank anyway. Ariel yells at Hook - that he is not a hero, that he is just a scumbag pirate and that's all he'll ever be. Ariel leaps into the sea and becomes a mermaid and goes off in search of her prince, leaving Hook to think on Ariel's accusations and to regret that he is not a better man.

Folks - THIS is the kind of character that Once Upon a Time's Captain Hook should be. Hell, this is what they should be doing with ALL of these fairy tale characters. And I don't just mean putting princesses in pants and giving them weapons and making them warriors as well as eye candy. I mean giving them good backstories and motivations and doing interesting things with them (that have nothing to do with terrible home lives because that trope has been done to death and it's not even a surprise anymore - not just in OUAT, but in most fairy tale retellings. Gregory Maguire's Wicked started it and no one's had an original idea since). Captain Hook in popular culture is associated with Disney's foppish dandy who's obsessed with killing Peter Pan and scared of crocodiles. And this Hook kind of started out that way, but he's since been given a chance to expand as a character - he's a bit of a lovable roguish scoundrel (not unlike Han Solo or Malcolm Reynolds). Hook wants to be better, but he's not sure about leaving behind his previous life - whether or not he can do it, let alone if he should.

That brings us to the ending of the episode. Hook runs after Ariel to tell her everything that he knew of her during the "Missing Year" - that he made a mistake and it cost her chance of finding Prince Eric and that he regrets his actions and he's sorry for it. He also confesses that he knows what it's like to love someone and never having them. Ariel asks who it is that Hook loves and he says it's Emma Swan.

And here, my friends, is the best reveal that Once Upon a Time* have ever given us!

"Ariel" reveals herself to actually be the Zelena (the Wicked Witch of the West) in disguise. When Hook admits that he loves Emma, Zelena curses Hook so that the next time Hook kisses Emma, Emma's magical powers will be taken from her. Hook says that he'll warn Emma and Regina and everybody of Zelena's plans, but Zelena comes back with the threat that she will kill everyone that Hook cares about - including Emma and Henry - if he breathes a word about her plans. Zelena is at her absolute best in this moment. THIS is the kind of vengeful Wicked Witch I thought we would be getting. She's vindictive and nasty and just plain wicked (if I may use that term). And if I get more of this in the lead up to the season finale, I will forgive that stupid twist of her being Regina's half-sister (good grief - how much more convoluted can these family trees get??)

Hook goes back to the Charmings' loft, despondent and in despair. He finds Emma, who's been practicing magic with Regina. And she's actually getting quite good! She summons an image of the real Ariel, who found Prince Eric a long time ago and they're living happily on an island off the coast of the Enchanted Forest that was not affected by the Wicked Witch's curse. So, Hook is happy for Ariel, who found her happy ending, in spite of his screw-up.

Now, we've all seen this trope where a character keeps vital information away from the people they care about in order to save their lives (Harry Potter did it, Spider-Man did it - just to name a few). But this is the first time that I actually believe that Hook has no idea how to deal with this situation. He's never been anywhere near this kind of thing. He's been a pirate since time immemorial. Any goodness he once had is gone - even though he's slowly been turning over a new leaf, he's still not comfortable with admitting that to anyone, least of all himself.

This is the kind of meaty storytelling that this show is capable of and that I would love to see more of. I mean, they've worn out the possibilities surrounding the Charmings and Regina and Henry - let's delve into some of these other side characters that haven't had a chance to be fleshed out. We haven't seen hide nor hair of Cinderella since "The Price of Gold", which was the 4th episode in Season 1 (that was also written by David H. Goodman and it remains one of my very favorite episodes - I think there's a correlation here). Sleeping Beauty's been abandoned by the writers, Rapunzel didn't get much of a character arc (let's face it - that whole episode was just a waste) - bring back some of these characters and let the main ones rest for a bit!

At the end of the day, Captain Hook was given a marvelous character arc in this episode and all the little hints and plot threads that they've been weaving with his character - one key reason why I keep watching Once Upon a Time, in spite of all my complaints about the show - are starting to come together and I couldn't be more pleased (unless next week's episode continues this grand tradition and this wasn't a one-time fluke, that is).

This was a long post, but the episode gave me so much to parse and digest - that's the sign of a fantastic story! I hope I'll find cause to wax lyrical about next week's episode, but that's until next week. In the meantime - I've gotta go watch this one again!

This should have been my first clue that this episode was going to be amazing.
Hook disguised as a knight! *fangirl swoon*

***
*Given that one of those reveals was that Peter Pan is in all actuality Rumplestiltskin's father - I don't know that this was a terribly great compliment. Still, my point stands.

***
EDIT: I went back and watched older episodes of Once that featured Hook because, well, why not? And I find I have to amend one of my earlier statements - it's wasn't "Ariel" that was the only episode of 3.1 that didn't have me throwing things (because there was plenty of opportunity for throwing things there). The honor of being my favorite episode of 3.1 goes to "Good Form" which, given the timey-wimey way I watched Seasons 2 and 3, was actually the first episode I saw that really featured Captain Hook in any prominent way. Beyond being my intro to my eventual favorite character, I just loved how different it was to most everything else I'd seen. Especially seeing how dull Season 3 had been to that point - having an origin story for Killian Jones was just a lot of fun and I've since gone back and watched it four or five times. So - there's that.