Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Satan Wants You to Be "Friends With Benefits"

Warning: Harpy-shrew-man-hate post ahead. If this is not your cup of tea (or you happen to be of the male persuasion), I would suggest going and taking one of those "How well do you know [Dobby]?" sorts of quizzes and have a better day than if you would have read this.

I was at the temple today doing a session (where this occurred is a moot point - the fact is that it occurred) and there were two or three girls going through for their first time. Well and good - everyone has to go through at some point. Most (actually, all) were engaged and their fiances were in the session too. Well - I recognized one of the fiances - he was my old roommate's boyfriend (and I'll call him Josh, since I can't remember his name - Shelley might know who I'm talking about). But the chicky-poo that he was engaged to was NOT my old roommate. This girl was a tall, blonde, 19-ish teeny-bopper freshman (that's what it looked like - wouldn't surprise me. BTW - Josh is well over 19 - probably 24-25 by now. That topic is another post in and of itself).

Before I continue - Josh is an idiot. I thought so when my roommate was dating him. But she was in love, so who was I to say anything (though I could have spoken up when they were cannoodling in our room while I was trying to do my homework - I was a doormat at the time. I shared a room with her, that's why they were always in there. Probably a good thing I stayed in the room and watched... bleah...)

Maybe I'm old fashioned and maybe I expect too much (and maybe I'm just a grumpy old maid) - but it's bothersome to see people date, make out, proclaim their undying love to each other, talk marriage, etc., and then back out with a giggly "Jay-Kay!!!" (liek, OMG!!! XP) Can't you decide all that BEFORE you make your family, friends, roommates and acquaintances watch you be stupid? Oh right - we're not supposed to care. This is alllll invisible to the rest of us. Puh-leaze.

My point - keep it under control until you really decide this is who you want. Because you'll probably regret all those "fun" NCMO sessions when you finally do get married (for those that didn't go to college in Utah, "NCMO" stands for "Non-Committal Make-Out." Personally, I think we ought to do away with the anagram because it's just taking the responsibility out of relationships. Not any different what the wh***s and other sleeze-bags do in the rest of the country.... and I better quit before this post gets less-than-PG rated.)

Tell me, am I just being bitter or am I ahead of the curve? Because I'd like to think I've got something here. Then again, I could be out of my head and these people have the right formula to find a suitable mate. I've just missed the bus all these years and I'm going to be buying cans of tuna for my 45 cats and chasing the neighborhood kids out of my yard after they unwittingly hit their baseballs in my yard in my old age (hey - maybe I'll get a reputation as the local witch. It'll give me an excuse to pickle their livers and feed it to the mutant capybara in the closet).

No - I think I'll go with the former. Disagree? I'll be happy to take any other suggestions...

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