Thursday, June 17, 2010

Movin' On and Movin' Up

Yay! Sports news that has nothing to do with South Africa!!! (a rarity this summer)

It's officially official!  The Utes are saying so long to the Mountain West Conference and saying hello to the PAC-10 (soon to be PAC-12, I'm sure).  This is exciting for a number of reasons, which I shall now enumerate:

1. The Utes can now be recognized as legitimate contenders in the BCS.  Not that they weren't legitimate contenders before, but since the "My crap don't stink" nitwits from the BCS refuse to let anyone get in the way of Ohio State or USC or Florida's red-carpeted road as perennial champions, this is the best for the Utes in terms of ever being able to pull off a national championship.  By way of the Boise State-TCU Fiesta/Baby-Sitters Bowl, the BCS has shown that they're never, ever, ever, ever, EVER going to let the "small fry" teams in, no matter how badly they beat Michigan State (and with USC out of contention in postseason play because of suspension from the NCAA, this is akin to the news of Michael Jordan's retirement after the second Bulls-Jazz NBA Finals.  But this time, there's not a lockout to screw with veteran players' health, thus thwarting any chance the Jazz had at the title).    Like they say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

(By the way, I've been waiting my whole life for a Utah-based team to come away with a national title and so far, I've been given the finger by The Greater Cosmos(tm).  The Jazz had their shots in the '90s, as did the Utes basketball team, but we've always had to settle for second place and it gets pretty tiresome.  I do take great pride in the Fiesta and Sugar Bowl victories, but I want that darn national championship!!  Real Salt Lake's soccer title doesn't count because (a) the game ended in a tie and they won the shoot-out, which is like deciding a World War II on a game of horseshoes (b) if the whole of the European continent says I must love soccer simply because the rest of the world loves soccer, that is immediate grounds for me to hate soccer with a passion unbridled)

2. No more listening to The mtn!!! Or, as I like to call it - Sports Broadcast School Rejects.  It's like they got the UNLV student journalism class to run that stupid station (yes, Otis, I'm sure it looks good on your resume, but I want my football game, dammit!)  If have to listen to them sideline interview the football coach from Timpview High School while the Utes are running a pick-six on BYU one more time, I'm going to slit my wrists with a rusty spoon.

3. Speaking of the Zoo... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! You guys had this wonderful season, even beating the Utes in the grand finale (thank you Maxie-poo) - and YOU GOT SNUBBED!!  The BCS never even sneezed in your direction and the Utes got in twice!  And won - twice!!  And now the Utes are one step closer than you've ever dreamed of being! (your 1984 "title" doesn't count - that was pre-BCS.  In fact, I'm willing to bet it's your fault we have to deal with all this crap).  I think I speak for all Ute fans when I say - See what clean living does for ya?

Enjoy your continued success against UNLV and Wyoming.  No, really, I mean that with all sincerity (it's amazing I can say all that with a straight face ^_^)

Also - Brad Rock chimes in on the news.  I knew he would.  And he's almost as giddy as I am (with a touch more professionalism - eh, whatever).

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