Saturday, October 23, 2010

NFL Week 7 - In Front Of My Sunday Ticket Poster

When our NFL Preview issue of Sports Illustrated came, there was a huge DirecTV poster promoting their NFL Sunday Ticket package.  The poster is designed as (A) a schedule of every regular season NFL game and (B) a collection of "tickets" to every game you can get on your TV if you have Sunday Ticket.  I had grand visions of me using this to keep track of every teams wins and losses this year... but the grand and ambitious visions I have often turn into just passing fancies.  But the poster looks great on my wall.

But the best thing is that I don't have to go searching for an NFL schedule to cut/paste into this post and then get rid of all the peripheral crap like the time, the stadium, the field conditions and whether or not Jerry Jones has money on the game.  I can just type up "Team A vs. Team B" and make my predictions.  I like being independent, personally.

On to the picks!

Saints vs. Browns - Saints

Titans vs. Eagles - Titans

Dolphins vs. Steelers - Steelers

Buccaneers vs. Rams - The Rams look to continue their *ahem* winning ways.

Bears vs. Redskins - As do the 'Skins (even though they lost last week - but it was to a good cause)

Panthers vs.49ers - Oh geez... more sack-of-crap games.  Though Carolina is new to this trend of sucking and I don't think they like it very much (shoot, I wouldn't).  Oh what the heck - Niners.

Chiefs vs. Jaguars - I would like the Chiefs to be better than they have been of late and I have no great love for the Jaguars (despite having served a mission in Jacksonville - there's a long story behind that).  This is a purely pick-with-my-heart vote - KC.

Ravens vs. Bills - *cough, cough* Ravens

Falcons vs. Bengals - Falcons

Seahawks vs. Cardinals - the *headdesk* game of the week - either I must cheer for the "Legends in Our Own Minds" Seachickens or I have to go with the "Classless Wonder Douche Bag, What do you MEAN he's Rookie of the Week" snotwipe max hall (Remember - Capital letters are reserve for classy people.  Like Jesus - no, I'm never going to let him live that one down)... You know what?  I really don't want to cheer for the Cardinals.  Hello, Seattle!

Chargers vs. Patriots - sigh... Before this year, this would have been a good matchup to watch, but I think since San Diego has taken over the "We-would-be-The-Sucky-McSuckerton-in-the-AFC-West-except-we-share-a-division-with-the-Raiders" position (previously held by Kansas City), I have to hold my nose and vote for the "Batriots."

Broncos vs. Raiders - Again with the holding-of-the-nose (well, I do have a little dog sitting in my room that is in dire need of a bath), I punch the ballot for the Broncos.

Packers vs. Vikings - One of these days, I'll be able to sit down to these games without hearing Brett Favre drama.  I'm sure Aaron Rodgers would appreciate it.  Good grief - can't the kid have a decent career in Green Bay with Teh Favre hanging over his head?  And it's a shame because I grew up thinking Favre was a pretty good guy, but I'm tired of the constant soap opera - just play the damn game already.  Just because I know the media analysis will be all BrettFavreBrettFavreBrettFavre - I'm picking Aaron Rodgers.  Green Bay for the win.

Cowboys vs. Giants - If I didn't absolutely despise the Cowboys, I would pity them.  Their owner (who has the mouth the size that rivals that monstrosity of a stadium), told everyone and their mom's goldfish that His Team would be in the Super Bowl and said Team has the gloriousness of the Son of God Himself (which must make Jerry Jones think He is God or some twisted thing like that - okay, I made that last part up - please don't hurt me) - and Teh 'Boys have nearly the same record as the Rams, the Lions, the 49ers and the Browns (the only reason the records are not the same is because Dallas has had their bye week).  If it was any other team, they would have fallen by the wayside and not even be mentioned during SportsCenter.  But it's the sainted Dallas Cowboys who can do no wrong - except when they suck and it suddenly becomes a national crisis.  I'm half expecting to hear of Wade Phillips being hauled in to testify before Congress over why Dallas is so stinking terrible this year and what the government can do to remedy this problem.  Barring that, maybe a "We Are the World" telethon with every brainless, vapid celebrity imaginable imploring the rest of the league to donate a few wins to the woebegone Cowboys.

*sniffle* Leave Tony Romo alone!! *sob, weep, wail* (Seriously, I could go on).

Anyway, the Cowboys suck, which my life is tolerable.  The NFC East is actually interesting to watch and I'm going with the Giants.

**My current standings - after last week's 8-4 performance - is 46-28.**

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